Paper Mario: The Millennium Armor
by Jerry Incarnate
Summary: After what seems like an innocent invitation, Mario and his new friends are thrust into a journey across the kingdom of Shinebright Bluffs to find a legendary hero's armor. On his quest he'll face street-racing thugs, nerds, and a classy army. With an ancient evil already revived, it's only a matter of time before it wakes up and shrouds the world in darkness. The clock is ticking.
1. Intro

_Ahem! Today…_

 _I'm going to tell you the story of Shinebright Bluffs._

 _An awfully long time ago the kingdom was a bastion of light._

 _It was the height of culture and civilization._

 _Darkness constantly beset the kingdom, trying to extinguish its light…_

 _But through heroism, the kingdom always held on._

 _And finally, Reginoir, evil's terrifying last resort, was put to rest._

 _Even as the world moved on, and Shinebright Bluffs became only a minor kingdom…_

 _The land's light continued to shine._

 _Well..._

 _For a while…_

 _Now, evil has returned to Shinebright Bluffs._

 _Reginoir has been revived. His reawakening is only a matter of time._

 _Shinebright Bluffs must keep its light._

 _Shinebright Bluffs needs a hero._

* * *

"Mail call!" The familiar chirp and fluttering of wings gently roused Mario from his sleep. The noble hero rolled over, promptly tumbling from his bed into an undignified lump on the floor. He glanced up at the clock; 1:15.

"Mama-mia," Mario groaned, running a gloved hand through his stubble. He sat up, buttoning his overalls.

"Not gonna change, bro?" Luigi said, walking through the front door with a stack of letters.

Mario let out a sigh and plodded over to his closet. "Anything interesting in the mail?"

Luigi poured himself a mug of tea and sat at the kitchen table. "Eh," he said. He took a sip of tea as he flipped through the letters. "Bills, a check from the tennis league, and another letter from MK News. My guess is they still want to make that documentary about you." He took another sip and looked through the remaining letters. "Bro," he said quietly, dropping the rest of the letters. "This looks interesting."

Mario slammed the closet shut. "Here we go."

"Check this out," said Luigi, holding up a gold-colored envelope. Mario pulled up a chair and snatched the letter from Luigi's hands. The envelope had a yellow wax seal shaped like a Shine Sprite, engraved with the letters " _SBB."_

"Looks royal," said Luigi. Mario unceremoniously tore open the envelope and pulled out a letter, written with the finest calligraphy he had ever seen. "Read it!" Luigi said, taking another sip of tea before resting his chin on his hands. Mario began to read.

" _Dear Master Mario,_

 _I would like to formally invite you to the kingdom of Shinebright Bluffs. I have an urgent offer that I believe you would like to take up. Please, if you are interested in my offer then please take the earliest boat to our capital city, Brightendale. I will be happy to repay any coins spent on your travel._

 _Awaiting your hasty reply,_

 _Rey Ray, King of Shinebright Bluffs"_

"Huh, Shinebright Bluffs, I think that name rings a bell," said Luigi, scratching his chin. "What do you think, bro?"

"I think it sounds like a small adventure," replied Mario. "It's been a while." His mustache began to twitch as a nervous smile grew on his face. "Yeah, nothing too crazy. Just a quick, easy journey to a little kingdom!"

"Sounds exciting," Luigi said with a more enthusiastic grin.

"Just as long as things aren't _too_ dire, you know?" Mario hopped up and returned to the closet. He reached in and threw a suitcase into the center of the room. "You wanna come too?"

Luigi shook his head. "I don't think you'll need me. Plus I've got an important meeting with the tennis league in a few days, so I should probably stay in town."

"You're probably right," Mario said, tossing a few identical outfits into the suitcase. "Hey bro, do you think you could call up Peach and let her know I'll be out of town? I've gotta pack."

"Yeah, no worries, bro," said Luigi, walking over to the phone.

As Luigi talked, Mario dug through the back of the closet. His hand closed around a small, white device. He opened it like a shell, causing a screen to light up with the worlds "Mailbox SP." Satisfied, Mario closed the device and pocketed it. He continued groping around in the dark closet until he found a large wooden object. Mario exited the closet and blew the dust off of the hammer. "I'll be needing you again, old friend," he said with a small grin.

* * *

"Mario!" The door to the Mario Bros' house was thrown open. Before he could even react, Mario was besieged by a figure in swishing pink cloth. "You're really just gonna run off on a trip with nothing but a message from Luigi to let me know?" snapped Princess Peach, her hands on her hips.

"Princess!" Mario yelped, jumping backward. Luigi let out a light chuckle. "Sorry, Princess," Mario said, making flustered gestures with his hands. "It's just a quick trip to some little kingdom. I didn't think it was a big deal!"

"Nothing's ever a 'quick trip' with you," Peach said, wagging a finger at him. "What if something happens to you?"

"You know," interjected Luigi, peering in from the kitchen. "Usually you're the one _he_ has to worry about."

"And did you think I wouldn't like to see Shinebright Bluffs?" Peach continued, ignoring the green plumber.

' _That's why she's mad, isn't it?_ ' Mario thought to himself. ' _She just wants to travel_.' Mario looked up at Peach with a smile. "Would you like to come with me, Princess?" he asked in an overly polite tone.

Peach's face immediately brightened and she jumped into the air with her hands clasped and her dress flowing in every direction. "Oh Mario, you're so sweet!" she exclaimed. "I'll order a boat and we'll leave within the hour!"

"Could I have a little more ti-?" Mario began to shout, but Peach was already out the door. Mario looked over at Luigi, stifling a laugh. "Sorry, bro! Looks like I'm gonna have to leave a bit early!"

"No worries," Luigi said. He took a sip of tea and let out a satisfied sigh. "Maybe I'll call up Yoshi and Daisy and have a little party!"

"Sounds like a good plan!" Mario said, snapping his suitcase shut and resting his hammer on his shoulder. He gave Luigi one last one-armed hug with the suitcase and ran out the door.

* * *

At Toad Town harbor, Mario found Peach waiting for him with a full cart of luggage and half a dozen Toads. This was the fastest Mario had ever seen Peach prepare for a trip. He let out an impressed whistle.

"Ah, Mario! You're right on time!" the princess called. Two Toads ran up, snatched Mario's suitcase, and threw it onto the cart. Another tried to take his hammer, but he shooed him away, instead sliding the hammer into a loop on the waist of his overalls. "Relax, Mario!" Peach giggled. She motioned for the Toads to begin loading their luggage onto the small pink yacht (well, small by yacht standards). "It's just a fun trip, no need for weapons."

"Weren't you the one worrying for my safety a few minutes ago?" Mario countered, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, well-" Peach began. She quickly turned away from Mario and stepped onto the boat's stairs. "Shall we get going?"

Mario rolled his eyes, though with a big goofy grin on his face, and approached the boat. After taking one last look back at Toad Town, he jumped over the side and onto the ship's deck. Peach looked at him expectantly. He gave a quick nod and loudly proclaimed "Let'sa g-!"

"Hold on!"

"Oh no," sighed Peach, putting her head in her hands.

A brown-capped Toad scurried up to the boat, madly waving his cane in one hand and barely holding his luggage off of the ground with the other. "Princess! I simply cannot allow this impromptu voyage!" said Toadsworth as he mounted the boat's small staircase.

Peach stood there for a moment, appearing very thoughtful, before taking a step towards Toadsworth. "Good choice, princess," he said, turning back towards the dock.

"Yoink!" Peach chirped, lunging for Toadsworth and pulling him, luggage and all, onto the boat. "Full steam ahead!" she shouted and the boat quickly began to pull away from the harbor.

"Princess, what are you doing?" Toadsworth cried, his face growing scarlet as he flailed madly.

"Relax Toadsworth, it'll be fun!" Peach laughed.

"Fun? Fun!?" roared Toadsworth, stamping his foot on the deck. "Your majesty, what if you are kidnapped?"

"Bowser hasn't attacked us in months," Mario noted.

"Master Mario, please stay out of this," Toadsworth snapped, bopping the plumber on the head with his cane.

"He's right though!" protested Peach. "Bowser's been caught up in his tennis career, or whatever, recently. He won't bother us! Plus, we've got Mario with us!" She wrapped her arms around Mario's shoulders, causing his face to go bright red.

"I will permit no such contact!" Toadsworth swung his cane at them, prompting Mario to jump back a few feet and out of Peach's arms. Toadsworth took a deep breath and steadied himself. "I suppose you are right, though. With Master Mario by our side and you under my watchful eye you shall be most safe!" He set his suitcase down, grumbling, "Well, I suppose I saw this coming."

"Exactly!" Peach said, grinning. "Now then, Mario, I believe you were saying something before we were interrupted?"

"Oh, right," Mario said, returning to Peach's side. He cleared his throat and just as Toad Town disappeared over the horizon, he shouted "Let'sa go!"

* * *

 **Paper Mario: The Millennium Armor**

 _press start_

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this chapter or have some constructive criticism, please leave a review. I appreciate it!**


	2. Prologue - Part 1

**Prologue: A Doomed Welcome**

* * *

After a three day journey, the boat finally approached the continent where Shinebright Bluffs lied. Before anyone could make out any details about the mainland, something else caught their attention. Most of the sky above Shinebright Bluffs was a lovely shade of blue, just as one would expect. But then there were patches of the sky that, well... weren't. The patches were mostly black, with the occasional twinkle of a star spread throughout, as if those parts of the sky had decided to stay night when the sun rose that morning.

Mario and Peach stared up up the sky, their eyes wide and mouths slightly ajar. Toadsworth, on the other hand, was running laps around the boat, screaming so loudly that the people on shore surely had to have heard him. "This is absolutely outrageous! Princess, we simply cannot travel into such blatantly dangerous territory!"

"What do you suppose it could be?" Peach's voice barely carried over the sound of the waves. "It looks quite sinister." She refused to rip her stare from the sky.

"Usually this is a bad sign," said Mario, staring with equal awe.

"Exactly, Master Mario, I'm glad you agree! Now quickly, we can still retreat!"

Mario broke his gaze for a moment to pull the king's letter out of his pocket. "But you'd think the king would have mentioned some sort of crisis, right?"

Peach nodded and finally looked away. "Right."

"Princess! Master Mario! Pardon my poor manners, but have you gone mad?" Toadsworth was jumping up and down by this point and his face was bright red.

"Let's just scope things out," Mario replied, now staring at the settlement that was coming into view. "I'm sure this will be a small journey. Yeah, nothing big, everything's fine," he said, his voice trailing off as he went.

Within minutes they had docked at a small stone wharf jutting out of the sandy shore. The port was cut off from the rest of the capital by a small clump of hills, which also prevented the Mushroom Kingdom crew from properly seeing Brightendale. As far as they could tell, there was only a small stone path leading over the hill and into town. Mario offered Peach his hand and led her to the summit where they could finally get a glimpse of the capital city.

Actually, Brightendale could hardly be called a town, much less a city; it more resembled a sprawling village. Brightendale rested in a valley formed between three large mountains, one to the West, one to the North, and one to the East, which completely sealed it off from the rest of the world, except for at the coast. The valley itself contained luscious grasses, flowers of every color, and dozens of streams that wove throughout the landscape.

Brightendale was built with respect to the landscape. Its many cobblestone roads curved with the shape of the land, and jumped the streams with neat little wooden bridges. The streams themselves were mostly left alone, with the exception of a few water mills spinning lazily in place. The buildings had relatively little impact on the land. They were all fairly spread out, except for at the shopping district in the center of town. Houses, especially, had at least an acre of land around them, which was broken only for the purposes of gardens and flowerbeds.

The buildings themselves had a distinct Bavarian style. They were mostly tall, long, and skinny rectangles, with high-peaked roofs made of dark shingles. Most of the buildings were stone, and most of them were white, though some were painted in vibrant shades of orange, pink, and green. Some of the stone buildings had red brick patterns along their corners, but most were lined with dark wooden beams, in a gridded fashion on the upper floors, and a horizontal beam above the bottom floor. Other buildings were built out of beautiful woods that had an orange or rosy tint to them and had similar wooden grids on their outer walls. The buildings all had many windows, more than the average building in the Mushroom Kingdom, and many of them held flower boxes that seemed to transcend the rainbow.

The main avenue was a wide cobblestone road that was bordered mostly by grass. Occasionally, there would be a set of flower planters, a street lamp, a black, metal bench, or a large oak tree whose leaves covered the path in shade.

After ten minutes of strolling down the main lane, Peach was the first one to break the silence. "Wow, what a beautiful little burg!" she finally squealed, clapping her hands together.

"It sure is different from anything I've seen," Mario said, glancing around at the shops surrounding the street.

"Oh and it seems so peaceful too! I'm sure nothing could ruin this atmosphere!" she said.

Suddenly they heard a shrill scream come from around a bend in the road, followed by a gruff voice shouting "Where's the castle?"

Mario and Peach rushed around the corner (followed by a flustered Toadsworth) and saw a Toad woman with purple spots. She was huddled on the side of a bench with her knees pulled up to her chest and her lavender pigtails clutched tightly in her hands and pulled under her chin. In front of her stood a short, fat man dressed in purple overalls, a yellow shirt, and a yellow cap. His zigzagging mustache was curled with his toothy snarl as he loomed over the Toad.

Mario's fists clenched and his face lowered into a scowl. "Okay, does someone wanna tell me why _Wario_ is here?"

"A-are you new here?" the Toad asked. She looked like she was about to pull her pigtails out.

"Just tell me where I can find that king of yours!"

The Toad somehow managed to pull on her pigtails even harder. "Just down the road!" Her voice had significantly gone up in pitch. "But it's-"

But Wario was already gone, bounding down the road while cackling madly. "Wario's comin' for you, kingy! Prepare the coffers!"

Mario approached the Toad woman, soon followed by Peach and Toadsworth. "Hey, sorry about that guy," Mario said, holding out a hand.

The Toad looked up and slowly released her grip on her pigtails. "Oh, um, thanks," she said, weakly shaking Mario's hand. "May I help you?" Mario could see her nervously eyeing his mustache and overalls.

"We're visiting from the Mushroom Kingdom. That's Princess Peach and Toadsworth," Mario said, pointing to the two in question. He then pointed a thumb back at himself. "And I'm Mario."

The Toad immediately sat up straight and her hands flew away from her pigtails. "A princess, you say? Golly, it's been so long since we've had foreign royalty on this side of the mountains!"

"I'm glad I could brighten your day, miss," Peach said. The Toad smiled so brightly she was practically a lamp. "We're actually heading over to the castle to speak with the king."

"Well, like I was trying to tell that… other guy," Mario noticed her begin to fiddle with her pigtails for a moment, "the king doesn't really live in a castle. It's more of a mansion. Just keep heading down the road, you'll know it when you see it!"

"Thank you for the help, miss!" Peach said with a wave, and the group began to leave.

"Wait!" called the Toad. The group turned back to her. "I know you probably won't, since you're royalty and all, but if you need to find a room in town then please feel free to visit my inn! It's called 'Spotta T's Inn' since, um, since I'm Spotta T."

"We'll keep that in mind. Thanks Spotta!"

"No, thank _you_ , your majesty!"

* * *

Spotta T. was right: once you were looking for a mansion, you couldn't miss Rey Ray's house. At the end of the main path sat an enormous estate that stretched for acres and acres. The area behind the mansion, which took up the vast majority of the property, was divided into four main sections: a flower garden, which appeared to contain every type of flower that Mario had seen throughout Brightendale, a hedge maze in the shape of a shine sprite, a pristine pond stocked with exotic fish, and an 18-hole golf course. In the very front, there was a vibrant green lawn filled with hedges cut to look like shine sprites and various regal-looking Goombas.

The house itself was a large building made of wood stained to a deep copper color. Various sections of the house rose to one, two, or three stories, and balconies often sat atop the lower sections. It had about a dozen chimneys and countless windows that dotted its walls. Overall, while it wasn't a castle, it stood at about the same size as Peach's abode. To anyone short of royalty, the mansion was magnificent.

"What a cute little house!" Peach said, stepping onto the lawn. Mario just stared up at the mansion with his mouth hanging slightly open. They strolled up to the large oak doors and Peach stepped to the side. "Well, Mario, you're the guest." Mario grasped the golden door-knocker and gave the door a firm tap.

Out from the building emerged a weathered old Goomba with a thin mustache and a black suit, whom Mario guessed was a butler. "You must be Master Mario." He turned to Peach and Toadsworth and lifted his spectacles to get a good look at them. "And who are your guests?"

"I am Princess Peach, and this is my attendant, Toadsworth," Peach replied, adding a curtsy.

"On behalf of the king, I welcome you," the butler said with a bow. "Unfortunately, though it may come as a surprise, we lack the rooms to house you."

"Not a problem!" said Peach with a dismissive wave of the hand. "Toadsworth! Please locate Spotta T's Inn and reserve some rooms."

"But princess!"

"Toadsworth, we'll be in the king's own home. I'm sure it will be safe."

Toadsworth let out a small sigh of defeat. "As you say, princess." And with that, he waddled back across the lawn, leaving Mario and Peach with the butler.

"Please," said the butler, "come this way." He opened the front doors and led them inside. They walked through a seemingly unending series of thin hallways, each containing a mural or a mosaic from a different culture, some known, some unknown. Mario hardly had time to take a look at everything, though, as the butler was leading them through nearly constant twists and turns.

After a minute of walking through the mansion, a door opened between Mario and the butler. "Oh, like, excuse me!" said someone from the doorway. Her voice was high pitched, but not to an annoying extent. It was actually one of the most melodious voices Mario had ever heard, and quite gentle too.

Out of the doorway stepped a Goomba girl, who looked to be 18 years old at very the most. Her skin was very pale for a Goomba, nearly matching Mario's own skin tone, which contrasted with her rosy red cheeks. She had long, wavy, blonde hair that nearly reached the floor, and bangs that perfectly framed her face.

"Oh my! Aren't you just the cutest little thing!" Peach was holding onto her arms as if she had to physically restrain herself from reaching out and grabbing the Goomba's cheeks.

"Princess Peach, please!" said the butler, his left eye twitching. "Do not speak so rudely to our princess!"

"Goomansion, it's quite alright," the Goomba princess said. She turned to look up at Peach. "So you are another princess? I am Goomeredith, youngest princess of Shinebright Bluffs. Like, how do you do?" She curtsied at Peach, who curtsied back. She then looked up at Mario. "And who are you, sir?"

Mario gave her a thumbs-up. "It'sa me, Mario!"

Goomeredith giggled for a moment. "You're quite the charmer, Mario!" she said, "Quite rad! So, I assume you are the hero my father called to the kingdom, correct?"

Mario shrugged. "I guess so."

"And we shouldn't keep him waiting," the butler said quickly, walking down the hall and forcing Mario and Peach to follow.

"Goodbye, princess!" Peach called with a wave.

After another half a minute or so, they arrived at a tall set of doors, where Goomansion finally stopped. "Here we are, the king's office. Please, be respectful." He opened the doors and Mario and Peach walked in.

Rey Ray's office was a cozy little room. The walls to the right and left were lined with bookshelves overflowing with law books and the back wall was a wide window that gave a clear view of the pond. On the floor sat a silky rug made from gold and orange thread, with a pattern resembling, like most things around the mansion, a shine sprite. Near the back of the room sat a large, mahogany desk cluttered with papers, pens, stamps, and all sorts of other supplies. The surface of the desk appeared to have been stained many times over with coffee and ink.

In a velvet chair, with his head barely peaking over the desk, sat the palest Goomba Mario had ever seen. On his pearly face rested a massive pair of wire-framed, circular glasses. He wore a curly white wig that had a few blonde hairs poking out from underneath. On top of the wig was a golden crown so large that it barely fit on his head.

As Mario approached the desk, he would have noticed the king's purple robes, if he hadn't first noticed the man sitting across from him.

"What's this loser doing here?" said Wario, sticking out his tongue at Mario.

"What's _this_ loser doing here?" Mario replied. Peach sighed and shook her head.

"Ah, Master Mario, welcome!" Rey Ray said, standing up in his chair so he could get a better look at Mario. "And you would be Princess Peach, I presume?"

Peach nodded. "Yes, I hope you do not mind my presence, King Rey Ray."

"Well actually, Rey- er, Rey with an 'e' that is- means 'king' so, really just Rey Ray, or Ray is fine!" A drop of sweat rolled down his forehead as he spoke. "Anyways, l-let's talk about why I invited you here."

"Finally!" Wario leaned in eagerly.

Rey Ray cleared his throat before beginning. "W-well, you see, ages ago there was this legendary hero in Shinebright Bluffs and she- er, her name was Alessa, and-"

"What does this gotta do with Wario?" Wario grumbled.

"P-please sir! I promise that I'm getting there! You see, Alessa had this wonderful set of armor that was said to give her amazing power, and, uh, well since her death the pieces of that armor have been scattered around the kingdom. We're not sure where most of them are, but I'm sure that, as a world-famous hero and legendary treasure hunter, if you worked together, you'd be abl-"

"Yeah, not gonna happen," said Wario, making an obscene gesture at Mario.

Mario returned the gesture, earning him a slap from Peach. "For once, I have to agree with Wario," he said, "Sorry, Rey Ray, but there's no way we can work together."

Sweat began to pour from the king's hairline and he bounced up and down on his heals at an alarming pace. "But you must! You will be m-much faster if you do!"

Peach placed her hands on the plumbers' shoulders, and Wario gave her a look of disgust. "I'm sorry, Rey Ray," she said, "but these two would probably just get in each others' way."

Rey Ray let out a hollow sigh and sat back down. "I suppose I'll have to accept that," he said quietly. "You all may work separately and keep, or sell, whatever you collect, but I must see the seven pieces b-before you leave the kingdom."

Wario put his feet up on the desk and leaned back. "Why?"

Sweat returned to the king's brow in full force. "W-why, you ask? History, um, rather, I mean historical records! I'd love to p-put them in our museum, but I will accept g-getting detailed models as a compromise."

Wario paused for a moment before putting his feet back on the floor. "Wario accepts."

"Wonderful, wonderful! Well then, I suppose I should tell you the location of the first piece," the king said. He took a slow, deep breath before continuing and a slight smile was visible on his face. "Alessa's necklace is in Moonview Temple, an ancient place of worship in Nesten Village, which sits atop Mt. Stonefont, just to the East of here. I would be happy to give you d-"

"Wario's gonna be rich!" Wario shouted and gleefully bounded out of the room. Cackles of "Wah ha ha!" could be heard throughout the mansion as he made his way out.

"-irections if, um, if you'd like," finished the king, his voice trailing off. "He's quite hasty, isn't he?"

Mario snorted. "That's one way of putting it."

"Please, Rey Ray, we would love to hear some directions," Peach said, cautiously sitting down in Wario's seat.

"Yes, of course," said Rey Ray. "You'll want to travel to Stonefont Way, just east of Brightendale. There you'll find a cave containing a lift straight to Nesten Village. Otherwise, you'd have to scale the whole mountain, which is a real doozy."

"Wonderful, thank you Rey Ray!" said Peach. "Is there anything else we should know before heading out?"

Rey Ray's eyes widened and his lip trembled. "O-of course n-not!" He said a few other things to them, but he started stuttering so much that it was almost impossible to make out what he was saying.

Peach smiled awkwardly and looked away from the frazzled king. "Well, Mario, as much as I'd like to see the kingdom with you, it sounds like you could use a bit of an edge. I'll stay here in Brightendale and help research the locations of the other armor pieces."

"I can help with that!" Rey Ray suddenly shouted, looking absolutely relieved to hear the subject change. "I shall allow you access to my personal library. So, uh, I'll call Goomansion in and have him lead you to the library, and lead Mario out. Please, wait out in the hall." Once he finished, he pulled out a handkerchief and started wiping copious amounts of sweat off his face.

Mario and Peach stepped out, closed the door, and sat on a bench directly across from the office. "What was his deal?" Mario whispered, glancing over at the door.

"I'm not sure," Peach whispered back. "But he was definitely nervous about something. I wonder if-"

"Um, hello?"

Mario and Peach jumped to their feet, each letting out a little yelp. They looked down and saw Goomeredith standing before them with a quizzical look in her sapphire eyes. "Oh, hi," Mario said after a moment.

"I just wanted to talk to Master Mario for a quick moment," the young princess said. "If you're busy than I can try another time."

"No, no, don't worry about it," Mario said, giving her a friendly smile. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to thank you for saving our kingdom! You have my eternal thanks, so if you ever need anything, hit me up!" With that, she began to walk away, down one of the many hallways.

"Wait," Mario said. He and Peach were frozen, staring at each other with wide eyes.

"Yes?"

"What did you just say?" Mario asked quietly. He turned his head to look at Goomeredith.

"Hit me up?" Goomeredith replied, cocking her head to the side. "Is that not common slang where you come from?"

"No, no, before that."

"Thank you for saving my kingdom?"

"That!" Mario said, practically shouting. "What do you mean?"

Goomeredith raised an eyebrow at him. "You _have_ seen the dark patches in the sky, correct?"

Mario and Peach looked back at each other. "Oh no."

"And daddy told you about Reginoir, right?" she asked. Mario and Peach only gave her confused stares. "Oh my stars," groaned Goomeredith, her voice rising as she spoke. "Oh my stars! O-M-S!" She walked over to the king's office and slammed open the doors, shouting "Daddy!"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading!**


	3. Prologue - Part 2

Mario and Peach were back in Rey Ray's office. They sat on either side of Princess Goomeredith while she shouted at her father, hopping up and down in her chair.

"Daddy! How could you hide this from them?" she said, "This brave man is going to save our kingdom and you won't even tell him that he's in danger?" Tears were welling up in her eyes by this point.

"With all due respect, Rey Ray, I am quite offended." Peach sat with her arms crossed and a pouty frown on her face. "Mario's my best friend and an invaluable treasure to my kingdom. I think I have the right to know if you're putting him in harm's way!"

"To be honest, I'm not that surprised," Mario said with a shrug.

Peach reached over Goomeredith's head and slapped a hand over Mario's mouth. "Your highness, I believe you owe us an explanation."

"Yes, daddy," Goomeredith said. "Tell this totally brave hero why you've sent him on this quest."

"Yes, yes of course," said Rey Ray slowly, staring at his feet. "I must apologize, sir. You see, I was too ashamed to admit what's really going on. But I have to start quite a long time ago to properly explain what's going on. You remember the hero whose armor you're after, yes? Well the hero, er, Alessa, well she, uh, her death wasn't of natural causes. Through various artifacts and fountains of youth she managed to live for 1000 years. We actually have named her armor after that, you see. We, uh, we call it the Millennium Armor."

"As you can imagine, a hero who lives for a full millennium isn't easy to kill. 500 years ago, a great beast descended upon Shinebright Bluffs called Reginoir. He seemed too strong for even Alessa to defeat, but, fortunately for all of us, uh, Alessa was able to use all of her strength to defeat him. And, well, unfortunately she perished from all the effort."

"How strong was this Reggie guy?" Mario asked.

"Oh!" Goomeredith chimed in, "Have you heard of the Shadow Queen?"

Mario snorted and Peach let out a chuckle. "What's so funny?" asked the king.

"Well, Princess Peach was her vessel," Mario said. The Goombas' jaws began to drop. "And I was the one who defeated her."

"Oh my," said Rey Ray. A grin began to creep across his face. "I believe I've picked the right man then!"

"But it's been a while since then, and I'm out of practice," Mario said quickly, patting his gut.

Rey Ray sighed deeply. "That's a shame. Reginoir was even stronger than the Shadow Queen."

"Oh."

Rey Ray nodded slowly. "And as I'm sure you can guess, the most powerful threat this world has seen may be back to haunt us."

Mario's face blanched. "Mama-mia."

"B-but the emphasis is on the m-may! But, uh, I still have more to explain. You see, I'm not really a fan of armies. I figured that it's been so long since Shinebright Bluffs has been attacked that we w-wouldn't really need anything big. I, um, I was wrong about that." Shame, or maybe just sweat, dripped from the king's words. "A group of villains calling themselves the Suited Soldiers invaded our fair kingdom looking for ancient power. And, well, they hit jackpot. They found Reginoir and have already revived him."

Goomeredith quietly sniffled. "If things keep going the way they are, our kingdom is doomed, done for, screwed!"

"Goomeredith, watch your language!" the king snapped. She glared at him through gathering tears. "I, uh, maybe this isn't the time for etiquette lessons." Everyone nodded. "There's still hope though. Large beings such as Reginoir take a very long time to wake after being revived. I am unsure of how much time we have before he is awake and at full power, but it may be enough to save us all."

Peach's face lit up. "That's why you want Mario to collect the Millennium Armor!"

"Exactly!" said Goomeredith, "Alessa's armor was said to be powered by her own will to succeed. As long as she had it on, she could amplify her own power with special abilities!"

"And there's the hope," the king continued. "I was thinking that, with Wario's treasure hunting abilities and your heroism, you may be able to collect the pieces of the Millennium Armor and kill Reginoir before he wakes up!"

Mario sighed and got to his feet. "You know, this wasn't really what I was hoping for when I saw your letter, but it looks like I have no choice but to accept."

"Thank you, noble hero!" Rey Ray bowed so low that his crown slipped off his head.

Goomeredith jumped right into Mario's arms and stared up at him, looking as if she was going to bawl. "You're amazing, hero! I can't thank you enough!"

Mario grinned at the young princess. "Hey, it's what I do-." Suddenly his smile faded and he slowly lowered Goomeredith onto the chair.

"Mario, what's wrong?" Peach asked.

"Wario," Mario said, moving towards the door. "Rey Ray, there's no way that Wario would give up something as valuable as a piece of legendary armor and there's no way that he'll stop looking for them now that he knows they're out there. Mama-mia! I've gotta get those pieces before he does!"

Mario sprinted out of the office and through the halls of the mansion. That idiot. Wario had no idea what he was doing. There was no way Mario could let him beat him to that armor. And if it was really as strong as Goomeredith said, then Wario might be unstoppable if he got his hands on a single piece. Mario ran faster than ever now. He would never be able to live with himself if he let Wario cause the destruction of a kingdom.

Finally locating the front doors, Mario dashed across the front lawn, narrowly dodging the hedges scattered across the yard. His feet soon met the cobblestone road and he ran into town. He ran and ran and ran until, "Wait, where am I going?" He knew that he needed to go East to Stonefront Way, but how he got there was a total mystery to him. He stopped and sat down on a bench for a moment to gather his thoughts. He needed two things: items for the journey and directions. So, he decided, he'd go ahead and hit up the local item shop and ask the shopkeeper for directions while he was there. If he didn't know how to get to Stonefront Way, neither did Wario, so the fatter plumber's head start probably didn't mean much. Mario took a deep breath, everything was going to be alright.

* * *

Mario entered the local item shop. It was a small room with shelves that seemed to loom over him. All sort of gardening products stuffed the shelves to the left and cooking utensils lined the wall to the right. Bags and other accessories hung on pegs next to the counter. What Mario was looking for though, sat in the very back, behind the counter under a sign reading "traveler's gear."

"Where you headed to?" asked the Goomba shopkeeper, whose name tag identified her as Spensum G. She wore a red bandanna and had on thick black eyeliner and black lipstick.

"Nester Village," Mario said, snagging a white and red backpack off of a rack on the wall.

"That'll be 50 coins," Spensum said, pulling the backpack onto the counter. "I think you mean Nesten, man. What brings you there?"

"Could I also get a few mushrooms and syrups?" Mario said, pointing to the top shelf. "I'm visiting Moonview Temple," he added.

"Ah, you didn't look like the religious type to me," commented Spensum, dragging over a stepladder. "But I guess going there could always help out that hero the king called over, right?"

Mario chuckled quietly. "Yeah, I suppose so." He placed some coins on the table and frowned as he noticed how few he had left. "You seem to be taking this crisis pretty well."

"Yeah, I think most of us are holding out hope," replied Spensum as she tossed a few mushrooms down onto the counter. "I know there's a few people like poor Spotta T, the innkeeper, who are worried sick, but we've always survived the darkness before, so I don't see why we can't do it again. The legends make Alessa sound like she was some sort of goddess, but I bet it's not too hard to find a hero like her when you really need one."

After paying for his items and storing them in his new backpack, Mario strolled out of the store with fresh pep in his step. He was Mario. He'd survived all his tribulations before, so why couldn't he do this? After all, he just had to collect some armor and kill some evil dude that wasn't even awake. Not a problem. These positive thoughts swam through his head, letting him think of the trip ahead with a calm mind. His mind was so calm, in fact, that he wasn't aware of where he was going until he tripped over Goomeredith and landed flat on his face.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay Master Mario?" she cried, running over to his head.

Mario lifted his hand and gave a thumbs-up before pushing himself to his feet. "Sorry about that, princess," he said, dusting off his pants in an effort to avoid eye contact.

"Sooooo," she began. "Do you know where you're going?"

"Crud," Mario muttered to himself. He'd forgotten to ask Spensum G. for directions. "No," he admitted. "Not really." Wow, he must look like a complete amateur.

"I can show you!" Goomeredith said almost immediately, as if she'd been expecting that answer.

Mario began walking down the cobblestone road once again. "Awesome, let'sa go then!" He walked about ten feet before he noticed that Goomeredith wasn't following him. He whirled around to see the princess looking at him with the most innocent eyes she could manage, which was impressive, given the looks she had been giving him all day.

"I have one condition," she said. Mario just stared. "Please take me with you!" she finally squealed, running over to the plumber and grabbing onto his leg. "Master Mario, my kingdom is in danger, you, like, have to let me help!"

"First off," Mario began, lightly shaking his leg to get her to let go. "Mario's just fine."

"Alright Mari-"

"Second, you're a princess. I can't be putting you in danger."

"Stopping Reginoir is more important!" Goomeredith said with a stern look on her face. Mario couldn't help but grin. She sounded just like Peach had on several past adventures. "Also, it's not like I'm the heir to the throne, so if I die then-"

"Whoa! Nobody said anything about dying!" he said, waving his arms in denial.

Goomeredith smiled, revealing a set of pearly fangs. "Then you have nothing to worry about, right?"

Mario couldn't help but smile back. Under that sweet exterior was some serious wit. "Alright then, how are you in battle? As much as I'd enjoy your company, the kingdom doesn't need you weighing me down."

Goomeredith frowned. "Well, I haven't actually fought in a real battle, but I have been taking self-defense training from some of the guards at the mansion."

"I don't know..."

"Oh please!" She grabbed onto his leg again and stared up at him with a trembling lip. "At least give me a chance! Even if I'm not good a fighting, I brought some books that tell me about enemies. That'll help, right?"

Mario thought about it for a moment, stroking his chin and fiddling with his mustache until he finally looked down at the little Goomba and announced his decision. "Alright."

"Oh thank you Mario! Thank you thank you!"

"But!" Goomeredith's face fell. "If you aren't able to defend yourself then I'll take you back home immediately. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Come on, let's go talk to the king."

"Oh, there's no need for that!" Goomeredith said, running in front of Mario. "I've already given him due notice."

"How'd that go?"

"He was too ashamed of the present crisis to say no."

Mario patted Goomeredith on the head. "You really know how to get your way, don't you?"

Goomeredith smiled at the plumber. "Carry me?"

"Nice try, he said sternly, "But if you want to travel with me you'll have to get used to walking," He looked around for a moment before continuing. "Anyways, which way do we go?"

Goomeredith spun around on one foot for a moment, revealing that she was wearing a large pair of brown hiking boots. Well, even if the puffy red dress with white ribbons didn't make sense, at least she had enough sense to put on some boots. Finally she stopped spinning and faced a small path cutting through a public garden. "This way, please!" she said. She gave a curtsy and a wink before strolling down the path.

Mario strolled right behind Goomeredith, glancing around at the scenery as he went. Eventually, after staring at the bizarre patches in the sky, he finally asked "So how does this all tie into the weird sky?"

"Daddy didn't explain that either, did he? I'm sorry, Mario!" she said. "It's quite simple. As Reginoir awakens, his darkness spreads over the land. It's said that when he was at his full power, the whole world was plunged into darkness." Mario could see her shudder as they walked.

Despite the darkness literally looming overhead, Mario couldn't help but smile as he followed Goomeredith through the capital. Something about having a friend with him was comforting. He felt safer, even though this friend was a frail-looking Goomba princess. He hoped she'd prove to be useful. It would be nice to have a partner. Hm, something about that word, partner, felt right in Mario's head.


	4. Prologue - Part 3

"Here we are, Stonefront Way!" Goomeredith announced, stepping aside to give Mario a glimpse of the landscape before them (not that he had trouble seeing over her). They stood in a grassy field that was scattered with patches of gray rocks and green bushes. As the field went eastward, the ground rose and the grass was slowly overtaken by the rocks until some shrubs and bushes stood as the only patches of green remaining.

Mario wasn't particularly concerned with the ground, though. Instead, he stared at the great mountain standing in front of them. It was an absolutely massive, nearly vertical hunk of gray rock with plateaus that jutted out of the side and ravines that cut hundreds of feet down and almost halfway across the mountain. Mario could barely make out a winding path that circled it all the way up to the flat areas near the peak.

"I take it that's Mt. Stonefront," Mario said, bending his neck back as far as it would go to get a glimpse of the peak. It seemed to pierce the heavens themselves. Mario wondered for a moment if the mountain touched the dark patches in the sky.

"Impressed?" Goomeredith asked, cringing a bit at the angle of Mario's neck. Mario made a poor attempt to nod. "Well, let's proceed then. You'll get to see the top once we get to Nesten Village."

They began to trudge up the hill, following a worn patch in the grass. When they were finally next to the mountain proper, they took a left turn into a wide grassy canyon. "Hm, nice little spot," Mario commented. He turned to Goomeredith, expecting a reply, but saw her diving into a bush.

"Wah ha ha! Well look who it is!"

"Oh no." About thirty feet ahead of them stood a cackling Wario. Next to him was a Goomba whose skin was bright orange. She had blonde hair that was straighter than an arrow, thick mascara as dark as the patches in the sky, and hot pink lipstick that matched her dress. Speaking of, her dress was the kind of thing you would expect to see on a model. It certainly wasn't fit for anyone political, adventurous, or anyone who hung out with Wario.

Mario leaned towards the bush where he could see Goomeredith vigorously shaking her head, though he couldn't guess why. "Goomeredith, do you know who this is?" The young princess looked ready to scream when Mario said her name.

"Oooooh! Is Goomeredith over there?" called the Goomba. Her tone was dripping with cruelty and amusement. "Come on out, girly!" After a moment of waiting she shouted again. "Goomeeeeerediiiith! I know you're there!"

Goomeredith slowly slunk out of the bush. "Hey," she said, eyes glued to the ground.

"Do you two know each other?" Mario asked. His eyes shot back and forth between the two Goombas, looking for a connection.

"That's Goombrittany," Goomeredith said, letting her eyes meet the other Goomba's for a moment before snapping back to the ground. "She's my older sister."

"Wow, so you're a princess here too?" Mario asked, strolling towards her with an outstretched arm. "Hi, it'sa me, Mari-"

"Can it, Rose-cloak!" snapped Goombrittany. Mario immediately stopped in his tracks.

"Rose-cloak, that's a new one," he muttered.

Wario stepped forward. "Enough with the introductions," he spat. "I know you wanna take those armor pieces from me, so I'm gonna have to stop ya' here and now!"

"Wario, this is _way_ more important than you realize," said Mario, stepping forward until there was only a few feet between the plumbers.

"Yeah, yeah, you just wanna give the armor to their museum like the stupid goody two shoes you are."

"Goombrittany!" pleaded Goomeredith, running up to Mario's side. "You know about Reginoir, why don't you reason with him?"

Goombrittany snorted. "And why should I? Take a look at your man and then look at mine. Which one's got the bigger muscles to beat up that creep?" She motioned to Wario. "The way I see it is: let Wario collect the Millennium Armor, get him to crush Reginoir real quick, and let him have it. All you're doing by siding with Rose-cloak here is giving Reginoir a weaker opponent."

Mario's hand clenched around his hammer. "Oh ho ho," he chuckled, his voice much deeper than usual. "You're really gonna call _this guy_ stronger than me?"

Goomeredith looked nervously at Mario. "Are you alright?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, Goomeredith," Mario said, not tearing his stare away from Wario. "I'm usually more level-headed than this. But Wario and I, heh, let's just say we've never gotten along."

Wario cracked his knuckles and stomped on the ground. "Ya' see, Goombrittany? This is exactly what I was talking about. We can't stand each other!"

Wario's statement caused Mario to back up a step. "Okay hold on, maybe I shouldn't be getting as angry as Wario. I'm better than that, you know?"

"Sure," replied Goomeredith.

"This is about saving Shinebright Bluffs, remember?"

"Right!"

"The rivalry's just a silver lining."

Wario grinned even wider than he already was. "So, we fighting?"

"Unless you plan on letting us through to Nesten Village," replied Mario.

Wario clapped his hands together. "So I guess we're fighting."

Mario grabbed Goomeredith and led her back towards the entrance of the canyon. "Alright," she said, getting into a bow-legged battle stance. "For the fate of the kingdom." She looked over at Mario. ' _I'd certainly rather have you save us than that man,_ ' she thought.

The two plumbers stared at each other, the tension practically crackling in the air. After the tension had reached a maximum, as if they had rehearsed it, both men shouted "Let'sa go!" and began the fight.

"Goomeredith!" Mario called as he ran towards Wario. "Can you tattle these guys for me?"

"Of course," she replied. She had to stare for a moment as Mario pulled out his hammer. This was it. This was a real fight. Was he really going to swing that thing at someone?

"Goomeredith!" Mario cried.

"Yes! Sorry sir!" Goomeredith pulled a thick green book out of her dress and began flipping through the pages. "Here we go! Wario: legendary treasure hunter, game maker, and all-around rude guy. His main attack is his punch, which, judging by those muscles, is something you should be careful to avoid! He also can jump on you, which, judging by his weight, should be dealt with with similar caution. He's strong, but he doesn't look to smart, so just keep your head and don't get too into this rivalry!" She was about to start looking through the book again when she added. "You know, you guys look pretty similar. Are you, like, relatives or something?"

"I sure hope not!" said Mario, holding his hammer high above his head. Here it was, his first attack of the journey. He let a cruel grin form on his lips.

"Take this, Rose-cloak!" before Mario could swing, Goombrittany leapt into the air and crashed down, headfirst, onto Mario. Shockwaves echoed through his skull and he was so dazed that he nearly dropped his hammer. Wario took the opportunity to punch Mario right in the gut. The hero doubled over in pain and crashed to the ground.

"I'll tell you about her!" Goomeredith called quickly. A stutter was becoming more and more pronounced as she spoke and she began shaking. She found the right entry. "Goombrittany: eldest princess of Shinebright Bluffs and heir to the throne," she read. Wario jumped on Mario, whom let out a pained cry that echoed throughout the canyon. "Sh-she can headbonk you for decent damage, o-or use her phone to look up enemies." She saw Goombrittany prepare to jump.

"I'm like, kinda doubting you now, Wario," taunted Goombrittany. "If _this guy's_ your rival then you really must not be that strong." She forced a mocking laugh before leaping into the air…

Only to be met by her sister's skull.

"Oh my stars, sis!" screeched Goombrittany, stumbling backwards. "Watch who you're hitting with that tiara!"

"Alright, Wario's having none of this!" bellowed the yellow-clad foe, winding back his fist. Goomeredith began to back away, but there was no way she'd be able to get away in time.

"Ya!" With one mighty leap, Mario was back on his feet and his hammer was heading straight for Wario. As Wario threw his body forward to put more weight into his punch, he pushed his head right into the path of Mario's hammer. A sickening _thunk_ sounded across the battlefield as Wario was knocked off his feet.

Goomeredith looked up at Mario with a quivering smile. "My hero!" she said with a sigh.

Mario grinned at her. "You're the one who saved me first. I'd say you've proven yourself so far."

Goomeredith stoically grit her teeth as she turned towards Goombrittany. "Alright then," she said, her tone its boldest since she had seen her sister. "I should add one last thing to that tattle." She jumped into the air and landed on Goombrittany again, sending her stumbling back into the canyon's wall. "Her orange skin," she said as she landed. "Is just an awful spray tan."

"You can't just say that in front of Wario!" Goombrittany growled. She jumped at Goomeredith. "I swear, it's legiiiiiit!" Mario ran in and hit her out of the air with his hammer before she could hit her sister.

"Alright, stay back!" Wario ordered. "Tell me about these guys or something!"

From her spot on the ground, Goombrittany gave Wario a groan of affirmation and pulled out her phone. "Mario," she read. "Hero of the Mushroom Kingdom. It says here that he's defeated countless foes. Ugh, what a brag! I bet he wrote this himself! Anyways, it says watch out for that dusty old hammer. It messes up your makeup, that's for sure! And watch out for his jump. The website says it's legendary, but I ain't seen nothin'!"

Meanwhile, Wario managed to punch Mario right in the face. "Oof," he groaned. "Well, I guess now would be a good time to show off my jump!" He practically flew into the air, far higher than anyone else in the fight had jumped, and landed perfectly on Wario's shoulders, knocking him down.

Mario picked up his hammer and slowly started moving towards Goombrittany. Said Goomba was so absorbed in her phone that she didn't notice. "Goomeredith: younger princess of Shinebright Bluffs. She's tiny and scared and weak, alright? She can tattle, but her book makes her less useful than me and my phone. And she can headbonk, but she's so weak that the only way she's able to do any damage is with that cheap silver tiara!" Goombrittany turned off her phone and pocketed it. When she looked up she saw Mario standing over her, tapping his hammer in his palm.

"Are you done?"

"Um, Rose-cloak, be reasonable here!" she pleaded, trying to roll away. Mario swung the hammer, hitting her right on the head. Mario crouched, preparing for the finishing blow, but a loud squeal distracted him. He whirled around to see Goomeredith running from Wario, who had just jumped into the air. He ran towards the two, but was unable to stop the massive man from crashing down upon Goomeredith, knocking the wind out of her.

"Get off!" Mario snapped, hitting Wario with a horizontal swipe that rolled him off of the young princess. The older princess, meanwhile, was now right above Mario's head.

"This'll teach you not to hit a lady!" Goombrittany shouted as she landed on him.

"A lady who hit me first!" Mario protested, jumping backwards to avoid a second assault. Goombrittany kept her eyes trained on Mario, prepared to dodge when he gave the slightest clue that he was about to swing his hammer. Instead, she was met with another tiara to the head.

"Wario… I… oof," Goombrittany barely managed to say, collapsing onto the dirt.

"Is she okay?" cried Goomeredith, rushing to her sister's side. "I mean I wanted to beat her, but I didn't want to _hurt_ her!"

"She's just exhausted," Mario assured her, rushing ahead to block one of Wario's punches with his hammer. "With some mushrooms or a good night sleep she'll be back to normal."

"Oh, but trust me, sis," moaned Goombrittany. "My head _really_ smarts."

"That's," Goomeredith began. She paused for a moment and moved so she was to Wario's left. "Good, I guess? So she's out of the fight?"

"Definitely," the elder princess called from the floor. "I'm sorry Wario. I was a complete scrub."

Wario swung his fist at Mario, but the red plumber barely managed to duck under it. "We'll talk about your failure later!" He stepped out of the way of Mario's hammer. "First, I gotta take down these losers!" He took another swing at Mario, which barely connected with his shoulder, and tried to step out of the way of Goomeredith's headbonk, but was still hit in the back of the head. He stumbled forward, breathing heavily. Looking up, he saw Mario, hammer at the ready.

"Cheater," he spat.

"I thought you'd say that," Mario said before swinging. Wario fell to the ground, panting heavily and forming new sweat stains on his armpits.

Mario and Goomeredith stood in silence for a moment. Mario tried to get his hammer back in the loop of his overalls while Goomeredith stared at their fallen opponents in shock. "Wow," she finally said, almost whispering.

"How did that feel?"

"Well, if I don't have to fight my sister every single time then I think this is something I can maybe handle," she replied after a few seconds' thought.

"Awesome. Really, you saved me a lot of pain," Mario said, patting her on the head.

Goomeredith took in the praise like it was her lifeblood. "Thank you! I hope I can be this helpful in the future!" She paused for one last look at her resting sister. "Now then: onward to Nesten Village!"

 **-End of Prologue!-**


	5. A Shadow in the Temple - Part 1

**Chapter 1: A Shadow in the Temple**

* * *

Compared to their encounter with Wario and Goombrittany, Mario and Goomeredith met little resistance along Stonefront Way. Wild Goombas and Koopas occasionally stood in their way, but they were finished off in seconds. Mario attempted to pass them by, but each time Goomeredith insisted that she fight them to prove that she was capable.

"I believe that you can fight!" Mario would say each time. "You showed that back in the canyon!" He was beginning to think that she was picking fights just to spite him for doubting her at first. She wasn't perfect, Mario noticed. She had tendency to underestimate how fast her opponent was moving and miss them with her headbonk, but each time she missed, she'd get back up faster than the last and go again. Each time she defeated an enemy, she'd immediately look over to Mario, searching for approval in his face and each time he's smile and give her a thumbs-up.

After half an hour or so of walking, long after the grassy ground had transitioned to rock, they came upon a cave entrance carved into a perfectly smooth curve. "Here we are," Goomeredith announced. "This is how we get to Nesten Village!" They stepped through the gray arch and into the dim cave, lit only by a few candles. It took their eyes a few moments to adjust, but when they could finally see, they saw that they were in a fairly cramped cavern, thirty feet in diameter at most. While it was small on the ground, they saw that the cave stretched hundreds of feet up the mountain up to a wide opening. Spanning that distance was a long rope that was tied to a large basket, like one would see on a hot air balloon, sitting on the cavern floor. Next to the basket stood a blue-spotted Toad wielding a short spear and wearing a blue sweater.

"Howdy!" said the Toad, waving his free hand. "Heading up to Nesten Village?"

"Yes sir!" chirped Goomeredith, running towards the basket.

The Toad held out a hand to stop her. "Hold on a minute, little lady! My apologies, but I'm gonna have to run a quick security check on you. Nesten Village is running on high alert at the moment."

"Oh," said Goomeredith, returning to Mario's side. "What's going on?"

"Rumor has it the Mugging Mountaineers, a ruthless gang of bandits, is out to raid Moonview Temple," replied the Toad, shivering a little. "Anyways, what brings you to Nesten?"

"We're looking for an old treasure that's in Moonview Temple!" Goomeredith quickly replied. Mario groaned and stealthily elbowed her. "What? It's the truth!"

The Toad raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh. Well, can you prove that you have no involvement with any bandits?"

"Well sir, I am the princess of Shinebright Bluffs," Goomeredith replied, taking a step forward.

"And I deeply apologize if you are and I'm treating you poorly, ma'am, but I ain't ever seen her, so I'm gonna have to stay doubtful."

Goomeredith once again returned to Mario's side. "Drat."

Mario sighed. Nobody in this kingdom would know who he was, right? "It'sa me, Mario."

"Wait, _the_ Mario?" gasped the Toad. Mario grinned, he stood corrected. "Like, the guy who won all those kart races and went on all those adventures?"

"Going on another one right now," Mario confirmed.

The Toad reached into his pocket and pulled out a news clipping containing a picture of Mario. "Well I'll be a son of a Bill!" he exclaimed. "I never thought I'd see a man like you 'round these parts! Please, step on in!" He motioned to the basket. Mario and Goomeredith quickly hopped in. "Please take a seat and keep your limbs in the basket until you reach the top." He grabbed the rope and looked over at Mario one more time. "And hey, if Princess Peach ever wants a foreign guard, tell her Lee-Gale T. is her man!"

"Uh, sure."

Lee-Gale T. yanked on the rope and shouted "Pull 'em up!" After a few seconds of silence, Mario and Goomeredith felt their basket slowly rise. "Have fun in Nesten!"

When they were about half way up the cavern, Goomeredith began to shiver. "It's way more chilly up here than I would have expected."

"You sound like you haven't been to Nesten Village before." Goomeredith just stared back with a sheepish grin. "Oh." Mario's face fell for an instant. "You haven't, have you? Where _have_ you gone?"

"I think I went to one of the big cities beyond the mountains when I was a little kid."

Mario sighed. "You know, I figured you'd be a guide of sorts."

Goomeredith scooted closer to Mario. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she whimpered, looking at him with her big, shiny eyes. "I've been so sheltered. I've hardly left the valley, which is pretty much just Brightendale!"

Mario pushed her back to her side of the basket. "Don't worry about it, it was my mistake," he said.

"Plus I've done a lot of reading, and brought a travel guide with me!" she quickly added, pulling a blue book out of her dress.

"How are you keeping those books in your dress?" Mario asked skeptically.

Goomeredith shrugged. "Apparently there's pockets in here."

* * *

After the burly Koopa at the top of the cavern set their basked down on the surface, Mario and Goomeredith stepped out and took a look around. The village was seemingly unreachable except by the vertical passage. A little over 100 feet in front of them was a gigantic ravine that was uncrossable with the exception of a rickety wooden bridge. Jagged stone walls bordered the village on all other sides, as if the residents had picked a clump of stones and nestled into it.

The buildings so bravely brushed up against the rocks were mostly stone with wooden beams running along the corners. These buildings were plain and rectangular and had only flat roofs. Buildings often overlapped each other, the taller buildings letting parts of themselves lay on top of the shorter ones. Each building possessed at least one chimney, all of which were pouring smoke, likely due to the inhabitants trying to combat the bitterly cold winds atop the mountain.

As they walked through the village, they noticed a peculiar feature about nearly every building: their western walls were broad windows rather than the gray stone of the rest of the building. Looking in that direction, Mario saw that it gave the villagers a glimpse of the where the sun would set, assuming they could see over the many crags.

"This place would be totes cozy if it weren't for this unbearable wind," Goomeredith said, stepping behind Mario's legs so he'd block the wind.

"Yeah." Mario rubbed his face and wished he had a beard to match his mustache. "Let's go ahead and look for the temple so we can get out of this cold!"

They walked parallel to the ravine, which unfortunately kept them exposed to the wind the whole time. As they walked, they noticed that the vast majority of the village's inhabitants were Koopas. There were a few Goombas and Toads, but the Koopas outnumbered them tenfold. In particular, there were a lot of orange-skinned Koopas. Goomeredith identified them as regular Koopas, their skin was just a trait of the Stonefront natives.

After ten minutes of walking in the frigid wind, Mario stopped. "Okay, that's gotta be it, right?" he said. He was staring across the ravine at a large building made of white clay. The building looked like it was made of a bunch of cubes stacked and seamlessly smoothed together. It didn't have windows, just square holes in the wall. The thing that gave it away, though, was the large blue gibbous moon painted on its side.

"Yes, I'd say that's Moonview Temple alright." The young princess looked around for a moment until she spotted the village's sole bridge, which led straight to the front entrance of the temple. "There! Let's go!" They ran to the bridge as fast as they could and were about to step onto it when a blue-spotted, spear-wielding, sweater wearing Toad stepped in front of them.

"Do we know you?" Mario asked confusedly.

"I don't think sooooo," the Toad said, looking up as he racked his brain to remember their faces. "Nope, definitely not, sorry."

"He looks like the guy guarding the lift," Goomeredith said, looking back towards the entrance to town.

The Toad perked up. "Oh! You're thinking of my brother, Lee-Gale. Yeah, people often confuse us. My name's Pie T. How do you do?"

"Fine, thank you," Goomeredith replied, giving a curtsy for good measure.

"Cold," groaned Mario.

"Yeah, I get you," said Pie T. as he rubbed his arms. "It's killer out here."

"I'm sure it's much warmer in the temple," Goomeredith said, stepping forward.

"Yeah, I'm afraid I can't let you do that." Goomeredith's face fell. The monks at the temple require any guests to be accompanied by a monk."

"Please, we're on an important quest!" said Goomeredith, trying to use her doe eyes.

"Even if you are, I'm gonna have to keep you away, sorry," Pie T. said with a shrug. "Those warrior monks are serious business and I like my face un-punched, thank you very much." The duo began to turn away. "But!" he added, seeing their defeated expressions. "I'm sure if you can find a monk and explain your situation, they'll understand and take you over."

"Alrighty, thanks for the advice," Mario said, waving as they walked away. "Well this is great," he grumbled once they were out of earshot. "Where are we supposed to find a-?" Right as he spoke, they saw a Koopa dressed in silvery robes, adorned with blue triangles on the sleeves and a big, blue gibbous moon on the chest walk by. Mario and Goomeredith's gazes immediately snapped to the Koopa. "He looks like a monk," Mario said, almost hungrily.

The Koopa, who had orange skin, a green shell, and a sharp, curved beak was simply walking down the street, minding his own business when two strange people ran in front of him. The mustachioed man and pale Goomba girl were bouncing on their heels, questions practically prying their way through their teeth. "Oh boy," he muttered to himself. "Today's gonna be one of those days."

"Hello!" said Mario, clasping his hands together. "You wouldn't happen to be one of the monks, would you?"

Yep. One of those days. "Yes. I'm Koopious, junior monk at Moonview Temple," he said, "And you are?" He tapped his foot impatiently.

"I'm Mario, an adventurer."

"And I'm Goomeredith, youngest princess of Shinebright Bluffs."

"Yeah, sorry, I don't really keep up with news or politics, so I haven't heard of either of you," he said coldly. He pushed past them and continued his walk down the road.

"Wait!" cried Goomeredith, running up beside him.

"We need to talk to you!" Mario said, walking on his other side.

"I was kind of going out to dinner," Koopious said, trying to move ahead.

"We'll take you out then. We'll even pay!" Goomeredith insisted.

These guys were persistent. Koopious turned back to them. Well, if this girl was really a princess then he could at least eat well tonight. He nodded. "Sure. Follow me."

* * *

Koopious brought them to the Stonefire Pizzeria, a cozy little joint nested at the western edge of the village. At the moment, no lights were on in the main room, instead, all of the light came in from the sunset, which shone through the long window on the western wall, bathing the entire restaurant in orange. The walls were stone, painted white and yellow in a pattern that normally wouldn't make sense, but when the orange light hit it, it created a fiery design. Unfortunately, the group was unable to get the full effect, as the black patches in the sky left the walls covered in only spotty streams of orange.

The hostess brought them to a booth in the back corner. The tall, dark seats blocked much of the sunlight, draping Koopious in shadow. As the silhouetted figures of customers and staff whisked by their table, Mario had to suppress a laugh. What a weird group they must be: an adventurous plumber, a princess, and a monk, all sitting there preparing to order pizza.

Their waitress, a young Koopa, ran up to the table. She lost her balance and began to wobble, dangerously close to falling onto the table. She finally righted herself and pushed her orange ponytail to the side. "Heya!" she said, snatching a pen from her pink scrunchie. Her skin was yellow and she had a pink shell. She dug her other hand through a pocket and pulled out a notebook. "What can I get for you all?"

"Could we maybe see a menu?"Mario asked.

"Oh, of course!" the waitress said. "Most everyone who eats here is from the village, so they know what we got," she explained. "What brings you all here?"

"Travel," Mario replied quickly. His eyes kept darting back to Koopious whose fingers were tapping impatiently on the table.

"Oh wow, I bet that's nice!" the waitress said. You could practically see the stars in her eyes. "I've always wanted to travel, but I've never really had the money or the time." Everyone just stared at her for a moment while she gazed out the window, lost deep in a daydream. She finally snapped back to attention when Mario coughed loudly at her. "Right, your menus!" she shouted, drawing the attention of several tables, before running off.

"Alright then, onto business," Mario said, looking at Koopious. The monk's face had developed into a scowl over the last minute. "I, uh, we," Mario tried to begin, intimidated by his foul mood.

"We're on totally important business for the kingdom," said Goomeredith, taking over amidst Mario's nerves. "You've seen all those black patches in the sky, right?"

"No, I haven't,"grunted Koopious sarcastically.

"R-right, sorry," Goomeredith said quietly. "Well, you see, we're trying to do something about them and-"

"Here are those menus!" shouted the waitress, careening towards them. She slammed three menus onto the table, knocking over the salt shaker in the process. "Ack! I'm sorry! I'll clean that up." She started to run away, but Mario stopped her.

"Don't worry about it," he said, hoping to minimize her destructive visits.

"Thanks," the waitress replied, saluting the plumber. "My name's Koopenny, just call me when you all need me!" With that, she plowed off through the restaurant, customers desperately jumping to the side to avoid her.

"What a character," muttered Koopious.

"I'd hate to be in her way," Goomeredith said with a light smile. Koopious didn't smile back and soon her face fell back into a frown.

"So, you two are gonna stop the sky from getting black?" Koopious said. He was looking through the menu and drumming his fingers, not even bothering to look up at the duo.

"Correct," said Goomeredith. "In order to defeat Reginoir we need to collect the Millennium Armor, so we need to visit Moonview Temple and borrow the Millennium Necklace."

Koopious dropped the menu and stared blankly at Mario and Goomeredith for a moment. Suddenly, he stood up and slammed his fist on the table. "Our temple has spent the last week preparing to fight off bandits, and you think you can just waltz on in and take our most prized possession?" he hissed through his clenched bill.

"W-we really need it," mumbled Goomeredith, unable to look up at him.

Koopious sat back down and crossed his arms "No doubt you're trying to be as strong as Alessa, are you not?" They nodded. "Har har, that's rich," he snickered. "She wasn't just some plumber-joe from off the street, she was a _true_ hero, chosen by the Moon Spirits themselves!"

"This is going nowhere," Mario whispered as Koopious began to snicker again.

"He obviously doesn't like us," Goomeredith sighed back. "Let's change the subject and see if we can warm him up." She loudly cleared her throat. "What are these Moon Spirits you speak of?"

Koopious quieted down after a moment. "I guess I can't fault travelers from the valley for being so ignorant," he said, suppressing a snicker. "The Moon Spirits are the beings we worship at Moonview Temple. The seven of them reside in Moonview Haven, a celestial paradise that sits above our world. Since the first dreams were made, they have been there, listening, and using the powerful Moon Rod to grant the selfless wishes."

"Wow, incredible!" replied Goomeredith, looking legitimately mesmerized.

"Hold on," Mario said after a moment's thought. "Aren't you talking about the Star Spirits?"

Koopious quickly stood once again, his vicious glare snapping to Mario. "Oh no," groaned Goomeredith.

"What was that?"

"Yeah!" said Mario. "The Star Spirits! They live in Star Haven, grant wishes with the Star Rod, all that good stuff."

"Do not speak of false gods at my table!"

"But I met them!" Mario held up his arms as if this was the craziest thing he'd ever heard. "I saved them all from the king of Koopas!"

"That's it!" shouted Koopious, walking away from their table. "First you try to rob my temple, now you insult my gods! I don't have to deal with this." Before Mario or Goomeredith could say anything the monk was already out the door.

"Please, Mario, don't insult others' religions," said Goomeredith after a moment, "especially when we need favors from them."

Mario groaned and put his head in his hands. "Yeah, I messed up badly." He took another deep sigh before muttering, "He _was_ wrong though."

"Having a rough time?" With a start, Mario and Goomeredith looked up to see Koopenny giving them a pitying look. In their frustration they hadn't even noticed her stomping over.

"Er, yeah," said Mario, peering between his fingers. "We needed him to get us over to Moonview Temple. We're kind of on an important quest."

Koopenny sat down across from them, where Koopious had been sitting. "I get it. Actually, I don't, like, at all, but I can imagine!" The duo could see her slowly fade into a daydream, but she caught herself and turned her attention back to them. "He's definitely not the only monk in town though. I've seen several of them take walks around ten in the morning pretty much every day. Maybe you can convince one of them!" Mario and Goomeredith grinned at each other, then at Koopenny. There was still hope. Seeing their kind grins, Koopenny couldn't help but grin back. "So," she said after a moment, "what can I get you?"

* * *

A couple of hours after the sun had set, Mario sat in a snug little room in a local inn Koopenny had recommended. The room was very small. Two beds hugged the walls, one on the left, one on the right, leaving only four or so feet in between them. There was a bedside table in the gap, and that was it. There was no closet, and the bathroom was down the hall. Some would call it cramped, but to our heroes it was a place to stay.

There was a faint knock at the door. "May I come in?" Goomeredith's little voice hardly carried through the thick wooden door. Mario gave the okay and she entered, dressed in a pink night gown and slippers. "Are you really going to sleep in _overalls_?" she asked, sticking out her tongue.

Mario shrugged. "Sure, why not? It's been a long day and I'm not picky." He kicked off his shoes and flung them onto the floor in front of his bed. As he pulled up the covers and set his cap on the nightstand he asked, "Are you gonna be alright in such a simple bed?"

Goomeredith slid under the covers in her bed. "I'll see if I can make do," she said, shifting around to get comfortable. After a moment, she announced, "I'm good," and closed her eyes.

"Alrighty then, goodnight Goomeredith," Mario said, clicking off the light.

"Goodnight, hero."

Mere minutes after Mario turned off the lights, he heard an irritating _tap tap_. He tried to ignore it and for a moment it stopped, but a few minutes later it started up again. _Tap tap. Tap tap._ He sighed and covered his head with a pillow. He must be going mad, that was it. After a few more minutes of the tapping he gave up and sat up in his bed. Goomeredith appeared to still be asleep, so he quietly slipped on his shoes and crept out the door. Maybe some fresh air would help.

Mario exited the building and looked up at the night sky. The moon and stars shone brilliantly, bathing the village in a silvery light and making it fairly easy to see. The dark patches were still there, but while they resembled the night sky during the day, they were now pure black. Even though there was less contrast than during the day, Mario somehow found this more unsettling.

He decided to walk to the ravine to see if maybe the bridge was no longer guarded (just in case the other monks decided they didn't like him). After getting his bearings, he began walking along the long wall of the inn. Just as he passed the inn, a figure lunged out from the alley and clamped a hand over his mouth from behind.

"Don't scream," the voice whispered in his ear. "I'm not going to hurt you."


	6. A Shadow in the Temple - Part 2

The figure slowly backed up, dragging Mario into they alley. He briefly tried to resist, but it was clear that their hold on him was too strong. "There," his captor whispered, "Please, turn around." They released him and he slowly turned around to face the figure. Mario had to stare for a moment and slowly take a step back. This is not what he was expecting.

Before him stood a woman, a _human_ woman. She had blue eyes and long, brown hair pulled back into a sleek ponytail that reached below her waist. She wore a yellow zip-up hoodie with the hood up (and a hole poked in the hood to let her ponytail through), jeans, and brown combat boots. She was about as tall as Mario, maybe a few inches taller, and had a bit of a gut, though it wasn't very noticeable under her jacket. She looked to be about his age, but Mario couldn't be sure.

"Who are you?" Mario whispered after what felt like an eternity.

"A friend," the woman replied simply. "You look surprised. Didn't expect to see another human out here?"

"I was mostly surprised about the whole 'being pulled into an alley' thing," Mario replied. He felt surprisingly at ease. The way the woman stood and they way she smiled made it clear that she had no intention of fighting.

The woman gave him a sheepish grin. "Yeah, sorry about that. I'm trying to keep a bit of a low profile. In fact, if you could maybe not tell your friend about this little meeting, I'd really appreciate it."

For reasons Mario couldn't even begin to identify, he nodded. "Sure," he said.

The woman gave a sigh of relief. "Thanks a million. So, just to make sure I have the right guy, you're the hero who's gonna fight Reginoir, right?"

"How did you know?"

"People have been talking for weeks about the king bringing in a hero, so when I saw you leave the castle and end up in an obscure village I made an assumption." Mario stared at her blankly and nodded. The woman nodded back. "So yeah, traveling the kingdom, getting armor, defeating the big bad, that's rad," she said, continuing to nod. "What's your name anyways?"

"It'sa me, Mario!" Mario said quietly, giving her a thumbs-up.

She giggled for a moment. "Mario, huh," she paused for a moment, stroking her chin. "Yeah, I dig it."

"What's your name then?" Mario asked hopefully.

The woman wagged a finger at him. "Not so fast. I'm keeping a low profile, remember?" She looked around suspiciously for a moment. As she turned around, Mario noticed that she had something strapped to her back. It was a gold-plated hammer with a titanium handle: an ultra hammer.

"Nice hammer."

"Oh this?" she said, looking over her shoulder at him. "You'd be surprised how many good weapons are just sitting around in random chests. I'm sure you could get one of these for yourself if you looked around the kingdom for long enough."

Mario unconsciously fiddled with the loop on his waist. "That would be nice. All I have is an old wooden hammer."

"So I've seen."

Mario raised an eyebrow. "How long have you been following me?" he asked, taking a step back.

"Listen," she said. "I care a whole lot about this kingdom, so by extension I care about the guy trying to save it. All I've been doing is checking in to see if you look capable, no big deal, right?"

"I think I can handle myself," Mario replied.

The woman suddenly walked up to him and put a hand on Mario's shoulder. He was alarmed by how heavy just her fingers felt. It felt as if she was trying to push him into the ground without even thinking about it. "Don't get too confident in yourself." There was a sudden chill to her voice. "This kingdom may claim to be bright, but there's a lot of people around here who are downright _evil_. Be careful Mario, and watch your back, especially tomorrow." Before Mario could reply, she darted off into the darkness, leaving him to digest everything that just happened.

"Wait!" he said, half whispering, half yelling, "What about tomorrow?" but it was too late, she was gone. Mario stuck out an arm and leaned against the wall. He was already starting to question whether or not that had really happened. Encountering a new human was already surreal, but to meet one this strange was pushing his brain to the brink of disbelief. And her hand, the pure strength he felt when she grabbed his shoulder made him shiver, or maybe that was just the cold breeze.

He shivered again. Getting hypothermia wasn't going to help anyone. He decided to head back to bed and just sleep on everything that had happened that day. Maybe it would all make sense in the morning.

* * *

The next morning, Mario still found himself in a kingdom whose sky was growing black, searching for 1000-year old pieces of armor, sharing a room with a Goomba princess, and possibly being stalked by a bizarre human. Things decidedly didn't make a lot of sense. Then again, this was more or less par for the course for Mario.

Mario was woken by their room's alarm clock at 9:30 in the morning. He let out a groan that more resembled a beast than a man and slapped his hand onto the "off" button. "Good morning, Goomeredith," he tried to say, though it ended up coming out more like "Grud monrine, Goomurray," in his morning stupor. He sat up in his bed, swung his legs over the side, and looked over at the princess. Somehow she had stayed asleep through the alarm. Her mouth was wide open, drool was slowly pouring out, and her hair blanketed a third of the bed. Mario couldn't help but laugh to himself. This girl slept harder than even him.

A wave of exhaustion hit him. "I shouldn't have gone outside last night," he said to himself, steadying himself on a bedpost. "Oh, right. I guess that _did_ happen." He sighed and rubbed his temples. "Coffee," he finally decided, putting on his shoes and plopping his cap onto his head before strolling out of the inn.

Wanting to get a better look at Moonview Temple, Mario opted to walk alongside the ravine while searching for a coffee shop. His eyes snapped to the side every few seconds as he walked, searching for any sign of activity around the temple. He also made sure to check any alleyways he passed by, just in case. After a minute or so, he saw a Koopa emerge from the temple and cross the bridge. "Finally!" He nearly shouted the word in his giddy excitement. The Star Spirits, Moon Spirits, Sun Spirits, or whatever spirits mattered here had brought him good fortune. He started running towards the bridge, words forming in the back of his throat. Just as he was about to yell for the monk, he noticed who it was.

"Have a good day, Pie T." Koopious gave the bridge's guard a pat on the back as he crossed into the village.

Mario quickly covered his face with his hat and ducked into an alley. The last thing he needed was that monk thinking Mario was stalking him. He prowled the streets for a few more minutes until he finally found a building bearing a neon sign reading "Morning Joe." He was about to enter when he saw Koopious round a corner and enter the building. Mario sighed and shivered a bit. Looks like he wouldn't be having coffee today.

He walked back towards the inn, once again walking alongside the ravine and making quick glances over to check for activity. Once again, he didn't have to wait too long. This activity was different though. Rather than someone coming out of the temple, Mario saw figures rising from the crags behind the temple. First one, then another, until well over a dozen shadowy figures sat there, just watching the temple. Something about this didn't feel right, and the mystery woman's words: "watch your back, especially tomorrow," flashed in his head. He stopped walking and just watched.

After a minute or so of waiting, the figures descended upon the temple. As they stepped into the sunlight it was obvious to anyone watching that these guys were bandits. There were twenty in all, and sixteen of them stormed the temple while the other four ran up to the bridge and started pulling at the support beams. There was a loud _crack_ as the far side of the bridge completely crumbled, pulling the entire bridge down into the ravine.

"Not good. Not good. Not good!" Mario started sprinting back towards the inn at full speed, pushing aside any villager in his way, too busy muttering to apologize.

Mario slammed the door to their room open, which still failed to rouse Goomeredith. "Goomeredith!" he walked over to her bed. "Wake up!" he slammed his fist onto the bedside table. "This is no time to be sleeping!" He grabbed the princess by the shoulders and began to shake her.

"Whuh?" Goomeredith's eyes slowly opened. "What's going on?"

Mario stopped shaking Goomeredith and set her down. "Bandits attacked the temple. The bridge is down!" He threw himself to the floor and started digging around under the bed, emerging with his hammer and backpack. He stood back up and saw her still sitting on her bed. "Get ready. Now."

* * *

Goomeredith came back three minutes later dressed in a pink dress with lavender stripes. "I'm ready to go!" she said, holding the door for Mario.

"Alright, let's see what's going on!" They charged out of the inn and into the streets. Everyone had devolved into a panic by this point. Koopas were running around in circles, crying out about the end of days.

"I know this is bad, but do you think they're overreacting a tad?" Goomeredith asked.

"We're all gonna die!" screamed Koopenny, thundering past them.

"Probably." Mario started jogging and turned onto one of the village's main roads. As they waded through the crowd, Goomeredith spotted a flash of silver and orange.

"It's that monk!" The young princess ran ahead, weaving through the legs of the taller villagers while Mario rudely pushed his way through to catch up with her. "Koopious!" she shouted once they were in earshot.

The monk turned around right as the duo approached him. "Look," he said, holding out a hand to stop any attempts at talking to him. "I don't have time to talk to you heathens right now. In case you haven't noticed, my temple is under attack!" He turned away from them and broke out into a run.

"We can help!" called Mario, but Koopious either didn't hear him, or (more likely) ignored him, and kept on running.

"Mario, he's gotta be going somewhere, right?" Goomeredith started to chase after him. "I bet he knows another way to get to the temple!" Mario grinned and followed her without a word.

* * *

Their chase brought them to the Eastern edge of town. Koopious had eluded them, but Goomeredith identified an opening between the crags. She could easily walk through, but Mario had to get on his knees and crawl. As he crawled through the tunnel, the wind got more and more intense, bringing tears to his eyes and causing his mustache to go haywire.

The wind died down a bit as he exited the tunnel, but it was far more intense than in the village. They now stood out on an exposed rock path, only twenty feet wide, which wouldn't have been a problem if the land didn't sharply decline from the edges of the path. From the looks of it, they stood at one of the highest points on Mt. Stonefont.

Mario shivered and began to rub his arms. "G-goomeredith, can you tell me about this p-place?"

Goomeredith ducked behind Mario's legs and pulled out her blue travel guide. "This is Stonefront Spine!" she said after flipping through a few pages. "It's a treacherous pathway that lies at the very top of Mt. Stonefront. From up here you can see all of Brightendale!"

She was right, from their gray perch atop the mountain they could peer into the valley. Brightendale's entire network of roads was laid out before them like mere squiggles on a page and even the palace appeared fairly insignificant.

Mario could also see across to the other two great mountains of Shinebright Bluffs. Directly across the valley from them stood Mt. Cinder, a broad, reddish mountain that looked more like a series of connected mesas than anything else. Near the center of the mountain, Mario could see a vast patch of white, which Goomeredith later identified as a large salt flat: the Todriforyu Desert.

Halfway between Mt. Cinder and Mt. Stonefront, but to the north of the palace, stood Mt. Glacien, the most intimidating of the mountains. It wasn't as tall as Mt. Stonefront or as broad as Mt. Cinder, but it was much broader than Mt. Stonefront and much taller than Mt. Cinder. It fragmented into dozens of little peaks that formed sweeping valleys within the mountain, which were filled with snow. The whole mountain was covered in snow and ice, nearly all the way down to the base. Speaking of, there was a peculiar cavern at the base of the mountain, positioned to be along a straight line with the center of Brightendale and the palace.

Unfortunately, Mario couldn't quite see past the mountains, though he could barely see over the other side of Mt. Stonefront, where a large lake sat in the middle of a grassy forest.

Mario glanced around for a sign of Koopious, but the monk was nowhere to be found. "Well, it's not like he could have gone in very many directions." He marched forward onto the path and shifted his gaze to the ground.

"This place is quite awesome, once you ignore the cold," Goomeredith said, walking beside Mario. She was hardly watching where she was going, instead trying to take in every little bit of the view she could. "Mario, take a look around!"

"I'm trying not to fall off of the path," Mario said, carefully stepping over a rock.

"Isn't this standard fare for you?" she asked, stepping over the various rocks in the path without trying.

"I guess I'm just nervous. I haven't been on an adventure in over a year," he said, "And the last few I went on were all through familiar parts of the Mushroom Kingdom."

"I don't get it though," replied Goomeredith. "I'm hyped to be up here! This sight is totally amazing and you're just hurting yourself by not looking up!"

"Oof!" something flew in from above and crashed into Mario's stomach, knocking him to the ground. "You know Goomeredith, I think I see your point."

Goomeredith whirled around, and hovering above Mario was a Paratroopa furiously snarling at him. Like the other Koopas atop the mountain, it had orange skin, but Goomeredith was sure that it was still a normal Paratroopa. "Don't worry, Mario, I shall tell you all about this enemy!"

The Paratroopa made another dive for Mario, whom barely rolled out of the way. "This thing's gonna knock me right off the mountain, I think that's a little more urgent!" he shouted, jumping to his feet.

Goomeredith snapped the tattle log shut and tucked it back into her dress. "You got it!" She hopped into the air, aiming for the Paratroopa, but overshot the jump and missed. She crashed onto the edge of the path and, in her dazed state, was unable to stop herself from rolling to the very edge and start to slide down the steep face of the cliff.

"Goomeredith!" Mario dashed past the Paratroopa and dove towards the sliding Goomba. He barely managed to get a hand on the back of her dress and quickly yanked her back onto the path.

Tears were welling up in the princess' eyes. "Oh my stars, that was almost it," she whispered, staring blankly ahead.

Mario grabbed her and moved out of the way of the Paratroopa's next assault. "I'm sorry, but we really don't have time for that!"

Mario stared at Goomeredith, unsure of what she would do. Tears continued to build in her eyes and her breathing became more and more shallow. Finally, she shut her eyes and shouted, "Alright!" She turned to face the Paratroopa, who was preparing to fly in once again. The raging wind wiped the shining tears from her eyes as she bared her teeth. "I get it. It's not an adventure if your life's not at risk, right?" The Paratroopa charged. "But I'm prepared to take that risk for my kingdom!" she cried, leaping into the air. She soared through the air, careening towards the winged foe. She shut her eyes, ready to make impact. And then she slammed face first into the pathway, right behind the Paratroopa. "At least I didn't fall off this time."

Mario sighed and jumped onto the Paratroopa as it passed Goomeredith. Its wings popped off, rendering it a regular Koopa. He jumped on it again, knocking it on its back, and finished it off with his hammer. "Need some help?" he asked, holding out a hand to Goomeredith.

Goomeredith lightly gripped his glove with her fangs and let him pull her onto her feet. "I'm not really too good at this, am I?"

Mario pat her on the back and shook his head. "You're just learning! And hey, you were still pretty brave, which goes a long way."

Goomeredith looked at him with wide eyes and a faint smile. "So you won't send me home?"

Mario shook his head. "Nah, let's keep going." They continued along Stonefront Spine, Goomeredith with an extra skip in her step, and Mario making sure to look up, until they came to the end of the thin pathway and were met with a dark blue pipe.

"I guess this is where he went," said Goomeredith. Mario nodded and hopped into the pipe, soon followed by Goomeredith. Mario could feel the pipe sending them up, down, and all around the various peaks of the mountain. It had a new twist every few feet. For Mario, this was normal, but Goomeredith's face had grown green by the end of the journey.

"I don't understand how anyone deals with pipe travel."

They emerged on a small, crescent-shaped cliff overlooking a round rock platform that was surrounded by gray crags. They stood about ten feet above the platform, which gave them a good view of the whole thing. Scattered throughout the platform, floating idly, sat a collection of used blocks with one blue block remaining. That block was currently being approached by a Koopa dressed in silver robes.

"It's Koopious!" Goomeredith said, rushing to the edge of the cliff.

Koopious didn't seem to notice. "And here we go," he said to himself, jumping to hit the final block. Suddenly, each block, seven in all, began to shake. After a few moments, they started spinning horizontally and drifting towards each other until they lined up in a row. The sides of the blocks flipped downward until they merged with the bottom side and vanished entirely. Out from the boxes fell somewhat spherical chunks of blueish rock. The back six had stone boots attacked, while the front one had a stone flower on top and what appeared to be a face carved into it. The stone objects fell to the ground and started to vibrate, moving towards each other until they snapped into place, forming a stone figure of a Wiggler.

"Interesting," said Koopious, approaching the Wiggler. He placed a hand on its snout. Suddenly, the Wiggler's head swiveled to stare at Koopious and without warning the whole thing ran right at him, throwing him back into the wall below Mario and Goomeredith.

Mario looked down at the Wiggler as it slowly advanced towards Koopious. "We've gotta help him," he said sternly.

Goomeredith nodded. "Definitely." Without another word, they jumped down from the cliff, landing on either side of Koopious.

Koopious quickly looked over at the newcomers. "Did you two follow me?"

Mario pulled out his hammer. "Does this really seem like the time to complain?"

Koopious looked back at the Wiggler and grit his teeth. "I guess not."


	7. A Shadow in the Temple - Part 3

The blue, stone Wiggler slowly moved towards Mario, Goomeredith, and Koopious, letting out a gravely growl as it moved. "Alright," said Mario, grabbing Koopious' wrist and edging to the side. Koopious gave him a disgusted look, but followed nonetheless. "Let's split!" Mario suddenly shouted, diving to the side. Goomeredith and Koopious quickly got the idea and ran to either side, circumventing the wiggler and meeting up in the middle of the arena. The Wiggler turned around, having to make a wide circle to do so, and started charging back towards the trio.

Koopious took off in a run towards the Wiggler. "How about we actually start _attacking_?" He pulled his arms, legs, and even head into his shell and kept spinning towards the Wiggler. He quickly made contact with it, hitting it right in the face, but he was sent flying backwards and the Wiggler appeared unharmed.

Goomeredith and Mario hopped out of the way of the charging stone beast and regrouped back in the center. "Is he just weak or something?" Goomeredith asked quietly, looking over at Koopious groggily pushing his limbs out from his shell.

Mario shrugged and readied his hammer. "Only one way to find out." He ran towards the Wiggler and took a mighty swing. The hammer head slammed into one of the Wiggler's central segments with a loud crash, but the beast hardly seemed to notice.

Koopious hopped to his feet and started running towards the Wiggler's side. "This beast's gotta have a weakness." He pulled into his shell and slammed into one of the Wiggler's central segment, but he bounced off harmlessly and it continued on its charge.

Mario jumped out of the way of the Wiggler. "Goomeredith, can you give us some info on this thing?"

Koopious stopped in front of Mario and pointed at the Wiggler, which was now circling near the other side of the ring to face them. "We can read later. Now's the time to fight!" He tucked into his shell, spun around a few times, and raced towards the Wiggler, aiming for its backside.

Mario sighed and took a step forward. "Goomeredith, go ahead and read," he commanded. He ran after Koopious, dragging his hammer along the ground as he went. Right as Koopious hit the Wiggler's back segment, Mario swung his hammer upwards, hitting it in the jaw. Mario just barely caught the Wiggler wincing, but it was otherwise unfazed. It quickly turned towards Koopious, who had tucked into his shell. The Wiggler was prepared to crush the Koopa under its stone feet.

"Koopious, move!" Mario shouted, running ahead of the Wiggler and scooping Koopious' shell into his arms. The Wiggler now shifted its attention to him and he had to sprint at full speed to safely set Koopious down.

The Koopa quickly got out of his shell and shoved Mario away from him. "Why'd you stop me from attacking?" He leaned in, nearly pressing his furrowed forehead forehead onto Mario's.

"It was going to crush you," Mario said, grabbing him and pulling him out of the way as the Wiggler charged past them.

"It wouldn't have if I could have hit it."

"Found it!" Goomeredith suddenly shouted. Mario and Koopious backed away from each other and turned to Goomeredith as she read. "The Luna Wiggler: a mythical beast placed here by ancient monks to protect the way to Moonview Temple. Legends say that it was created by the Moon Spirits themselves, though, I guess you two would disagree about that." The two men glared at each other before stepping out of the way of the Luna Wiggler once again. "It primarily attacks by charging at its opponents, which wouldn't be too bad if it weren't practically invincible. But!" she said, noting the look of panic on Mario's face and the look of skepticism on Koopious', "if you can somehow damage all seven of its segments more or less at the same time then you should leave it vulnerable."

Koopious started to run towards the Luna Wiggler with a wide grin. Mario reached out to try and stop him. "Didn't you hear her?" he called, but Koopious just ignored him and pulled into his shell. Suddenly, his shell stopped moving forward, but started spinning faster and faster as a bright light obscured it. As this went on, the Luna Wiggler had lined itself up with Koopious and was charging straight for him. After one final flash, the light faded from Koopious' shell, which was still spinning at a sickening pace, but now it was a deep blue rather than the usual green. Mario and Goomeredith stared with open mouths as Koopious shot forward, passing straight through the Luna Wiggler. As he passed through each segment, they started to glow. At first it was a small twinkle, but it soon grew to a blue orb of light that encased the whole segment.

Koopious came to a stop a few feet past the Luna Wiggler and his shell slowly faded back to its normal color. When his shell was totally green once again, the orbs of light exploded, knocking the Luna Wiggler onto its back.

Mario's jaw had fallen completely open. His stare kept moving from the fallen Wiggler, to Koopious (who by then was standing and looked back at Mario with a smug grin), and his own hammer. "What was _that_?" he finally asked.

"It's an advanced technique passed down by the Moonview monks for generations: the Moon Dash. It lets me go straight through enemies and damage them all at once with spiritual energy from the Moon Spirits." Koopious clasped his hands together, closed his eyes, and whispered a short prayer once he had finished speaking.

"But, there's just no way that-!"

"Come on Mario, you saw what he did!" Goomeredith said, bouncing over to Koopious. "It doesn't matter where he gets the power, he's got something cool!"

Mario shrugged and walked over to the Koopa. "Alright, I'll give you that," he said, slowly offering a handshake.

Before any humbling handshakes could occur, the trio heard a loud crack. They looked over to the overturned Luna Wiggler and saw that a long crack had appeared, stretching down its belly. Another crack soon appeared, then another, then another, until its whole body was covered in cracks. Finally, the entire stone body crumbled, revealing a smaller, silver Wiggler underneath. It quickly righted itself, set its sights on the group, and charged at a pace far faster than before.

"That's the Luna Wiggler's true form!" Goomeredith said as Mario yanked her out of its path. "It's faster and stronger, but vulnerable. Now's our chance to defeat it!"

Koopious was the first to attack, using a normal shell strike. He slammed into the Luna Wiggler's nose, sending both of them flying away from each other. He got to his feet with a grin. "Looks like that did some damage. Nice tip by the way, girl."

"My name's Princess Goomeredith, sir," she said with a huff, running past him. She jumped into the air, aiming for the Luna Wiggler's head. She overshot, but still hit it in its center segment. Mario quickly followed up with a swipe of his hammer, knocking it away from Goomeredith.

Mario and Goomeredith backed up and saw that Koopious was preparing another Moon Dash. Just as the Luna Wiggler started running towards Mario and Goomeredith, Koopious shot ahead, passing through its three back segments. As the orbs of light grew, the Luna Wiggler caught sight of Koopious, whose shell was still returning to normal, and started running towards him. Mario ran towards him in a futile effort to knock the foe away from him, but he was far too late. The Luna Wiggler crashed into Koopious, sending him flying backwards and slamming painfully into the wall of the arena. Just as he fell to the ground, his shell returned to its normal color and the Luna Wiggler was knocked onto its back by the blasts of spiritual energy.

The Luna Wiggler rocked around on its back for a moment before successfully getting back on its feet. It let out a shrill scream, vented steam from its head, and began to dig at the ground until it had burrowed all the way into the ground. Mario and Koopious paced to the center, each taking cautious looks around the arena as they moved. Once they got to the center they, without saying a word, stood back-to-back, Mario brandishing his hammer and Koopious prepared to duck into his shell at any moment.

"Wow, you two seem to be getting along better," Goomeredith said innocently. She paced around the arena, occasionally glancing around for signs of the Luna Wiggler.

Mario heard a sigh from behind him, causing him to sigh just as loudly. "This is better for attacking the Luna Wiggler, don't think we're friends," said Koopious, taking a step forward away from Mario. Right at that moment, the Luna Wiggler burst out of the ground right between them, throwing them to the side. When Mario pulled himself off the ground, he saw that the Luna Wiggler had regained its rocky armor.

Goomeredith yelped and ran behind Mario, peaking out at the beast from between his legs. "Koopious, do the thing!"

Koopious didn't even bother getting out of his shell. He just started spinning, preparing the Moon Dash. Mario noticed that the Luna Wiggler was drawing near him before the attack was ready. "We gotta distract it," Mario said quickly. Goomeredith nodded and they ran right in front of it, drawing its attention towards them. They quickly got it to pivot away from Koopious and head across the arena.

"Maybe we should lead it back to him," suggested Goomeredith, looking at the monk's shell, which was now completely consumed with light. "It'll make it easier for him to hit this beast." Mario nodded and guided them on a wide curve taking them back around to Koopious. Right as his shell turned blue, they jumped out of the way and Koopious attacked the Luna Wiggler, flawlessly passing through all of its segments.

Soon, the Luna Wiggler's silver form was revealed once again. "Quick, finish it off!" Koopious ordered. The three of them charged: Mario jumped onto the Wiggler's head; Goomeredith landed on its rear segment; and Koopious crashed into its rear segment, all at about the same time.

Koopious made an attempt to hit it again, but the Luna Wiggler swiped its head to the side, knocking him back into the wall. It quickly turned its attention to Goomeredith, who backed up nervously. Mario ran in and swung his hammer, shouting "Enough!" He hit it right in the head, which sent it rolling away until it finally rested on its back.

The trio stared at the Luna Wiggler as an uneasy calm settled over the arena. They sat there, wondering whether it was defeated, or just waiting to do something else. After a few seconds, the Luna Wiggler exploded in a burst of blue light, causing Goomeredith, Mario, and Koopious to scream in surprise (though the latter two wouldn't admit it). Once the light and dust cleared, all that remained was a solitary blue switch.

They stood silent for a moment, breathing deeply and looking around at each other with wary grins, even Koopious seemed happy with his allies. "I guess I should be thankful," he said. "At the very least, you guys helped me figure out that beast's weakness."

Mario opened his mouth to object, but Goomeredith cut him off. "You were great out there! We made a great team."

It was clear to everyone that Koopious wasn't going to acknowledge anything about a team, so after a brief pause he approached the switch and hit it. The area in the center of the arena flipped over like pages in a flip-book. The pages flipped slowly at first, revealing a blue object sticking out of the ground, but the flipping grew faster and faster until they could clearly see a blue pipe rising out of the ground.

Koopious motioned to the pipe. "I'm sure that you can guess that this takes us closer to Moonview Temple. Let's go."

Mario didn't budge. "So you're saying we _can_ go to Moonview Temple?"

"I really, really wish I didn't have to do this, but yes." Koopious sighed deeply and placed his boot on the edge of the pipe. "You guys are obviously competent fighters and we're gonna need all the help that we can get."

"Fantastico!" said Mario, walking up to the pipe.

"But!" Koopious held out his hand and Mario stopped in his tracks. "I won't promise you even a glimpse of the Millennium Necklace." Without waiting for a reply, Koopious hopped into the pipe and let it drag him through the mountains.

Mario sighed and stepped up onto the pipe. "Let'sa go," he muttered before jumping in.

Goomeredith's face turned green as she leaned over the pipe. "This again?"

* * *

When they emerged from the pipe, they found themselves in another circular area surrounded by gray crags, but this one was about twice as large as the previous one and absolutely coated with tough, pale-green vegetation. Mario glanced around for a moment and quickly spotted another blue pipe sitting in a nearby clearing.

"This was an odd little stop," he said to himself as he hopped into the new pipe.

"You fool!" shouted Koopious, diving towards him in an effort to grab his arm, but the plumber was already speeding through the pipe by the time he arrived. "That pipe's a trap. It's going to dump you off of a cliff!"

Mario barely heard the voice over the rushing wind, and by the time his mind fully processed what Koopious had shouted, he could already see light shining from the opening below. At the last second, he pushed his hands and feet onto the walls of the pipe, slowing his descent significantly. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to stop him from slipping out the bottom of the pipe and into the open abyss. He flailed his arms and managed to grab onto the rim.

Mario made the mistake of looking down. The pipe had emerged on the underside of a cliff on the very edge of the mountain. Below him was a sheer drop that went down for thousands of feet right to the outskirts of Brightendale. The wind here was violent, threatening to blow him right off the pipe and scatter his body across the valley. A wave of fear and nausea hit him and he felt his grip weaken. All it would have taken was a stronger burst of wind and the adventure would have ended there, but he strengthened his grip, determined to hang on.

"Mario!" Goomeredith's panicked shriek echoed down the pipe. It was clear that she had already started crying.

"I'm still here!" Mario shouted back up. After a second he heard a mixture of sobs and relieved laughter. "Hold on," he said as he began to pull himself up into the pipe. The strain of his weight weighed on his voice, causing it to come out as a quiet grunt. He pulled as hard as he could, until half his body was in the pipe and his arms began to shake violently. Right as he felt his arms give out, the pipe accepted him and gently pulled him back into the clearing.

"Mario!" cried Goomeredith, running up to him and giving his shaky leg a hug.

Koopious slowly clapped and gave an impressed whistle. "Oh my moons, I can't believe you managed to come back from that. I thought for sure you were a goner."

"Some earlier warning would have been nice."

Koopious turned his back on Mario and started walking through the brush. "I didn't exactly expect you to go and jump into a pipe that quickly."

Mario sighed and followed Koopious. "Yeah, I guess that's fair."

"Please be more careful!" said Goomeredith, finally speaking without any sobs. She entered the brush and walked close behind Mario. After a moment she spoke up once again. "So where exactly are we going?"

Koopious pushed his way through a thick bush. "We're searching for another pipe," he said, "This is the part of the final line of defenses on Stonefront Spine. The ancient monks at Moonview Temple set up three trials intended to keep outsiders away from the temple: a block puzzle, which I completed, a beast, the Luna Wiggler, and a set of pipes that would presumably kill anyone who didn't know what they were doing." As he stepped through a particularly tall patch of grass, he tripped over a low-lying green pipe. "Ah, and here we are. The trick is that outsiders will probably take the first pipe they see instead of searching for the hidden pipe." He stepped aside and motioned to the pipe. "After you, heathen."

Mario took a nervous step back. "Maybe you should go first."

Koopious chuckled briefly before stepping onto the pipe. "Whatever you say." He jumped into the pipe and let it drag him through the mountains. Goomeredith saw a scowl flash on Mario's face before he ran up to the pipe and jumped in.

"I sure hope this is safe," said the princess with a sigh, "I don't even have arms."

* * *

The green pipe spit them out on a wide stone pathway bordering a deep ravine. To the left, and a little ways ahead, was Nesten Village, barely lurking within the trio's sight. Koopious grit his teeth and stepped forward. "As you can see, we've reached the other side of the ravine. We should reach Moonview Temple in the next few minutes."

The group began to walk forward in tense silence. Koopious was angrily staring ahead, muttering a battle prayer to aid him in beating up the bandits. Mario was staring up at the dark patches in the sky, which looked slightly bigger than the day before, waiting in anticipation for his chance to get the first piece of the Millennium Armor. Goomeredith was just staring ahead at Mario, trying not to think of all the ways that could get killed as they moved forward. The journey had already been dangerous enough. She didn't know how anyone was expected to make it through Stonefront Spine. In fact…

"So if Stonefront Spine is the only way to get over here, and only monks know how to make it through, how did the bandits get up here?"

Koopious stopped walking to ponder the question for a moment. "Bandits are a resourceful kind, they probably managed to climb their way here."

Mario nodded and pointed to the crags to their right. "That sounds about right. Right before they attacked, I spotted them up there."

"These guys sound tricky," said Goomeredith, biting her lip in anticipation. "Do you think we'll have a chance against them?"

Right then, Moonview Temple came into view. Koopious clenched his fists and quickened his pace. "I guess we'll just have to find out."


	8. A Shadow in the Temple - Part 4

As soon as they were about twenty feet away from Moonview Temple, Mario, Goomeredith, and Koopious were spotted by a red-clad bandit standing in the doorway. The bandit ran into the Temple and started shouting something that they couldn't quite make out.

"Here we go," Koopious said, taking a step forward and striking a battle pose. "I don't know how many of them we'll have to fight, but let's do our best."

But, rather than the full army of bandits, a single bandit appeared in the doorway. It was immediately clear that this wasn't a normal bandit. He was incredibly tall- Mario hardly came up to his chest- and very skinny. He wore a dark gray cloak with a pattern of purple spirals running up the back and down the arms. The left half of his mask was painted to have an unnerving smile at all times, but the right half was completely neutral, with the exception of a large slash running straight down from the eye to the mouth. The bandit stood silently and stared at Koopious. While the mask didn't move, Koopious could feel that the bandit was grinning at him. He tried his best to hide the shiver sent down his spine.

The bandit took a step forward, causing everyone to start. "Just the man I was looking for!" he said, rubbing his palms together. His voice was gruff, but he spoke in a cocky and condescending tone.

Koopious stood his ground. "Why were you looking for me?" He glared directly into the vacant eye-holes of the bandit's mask.

"I found that door you keep your treasures behind," the bandit said, motioning into the temple. "I couldn't get my men through there, so I figured you guys put a seal on it. In my experience, that's how you weird, old religions work."

"How dare-"

The bandit ignored him. "Well, the door had five glowing moons on it. My guess was that it was five moons and five monks, but we only found four. I thought maybe I had been wrong- it was frustrating, really. You see, I'm _never_ wrong- but look at where we are now: five moons, five monks."

"Then it looks like this is the best time to stop you," Mario said. He reached for his hammer, but Koopious held out a hand to stop him.

"Let's just see what he wants," the monk whispered, trying to keep his beak from moving as he spoke. "I might have a plan."

Mario let his hand return to his side. "Or maybe not."

The group got the feeling that the bandit was grinning again. "Excellent, it seems you know who possesses the power here."

"Who exactly are you?" Goomeredith asked before the bandit could continue.

"As you've probably heard, we're the Mugging Mountaineers. We've been robbing people in the mountains and down in Brightendale for nearly a decade- quite lucratively, I should add. And as you probably guessed, I'm their leader." He turned directly towards them and flung out his left arm, making his cloak flutter dramatically in the wind. "I am Phanthomas."

Goomeredith gulped loudly and took a step back. " _You're_ Phanthomas? The same one who robbed the palace five years ago?"

Phanthomas nodded and they felt him grin. "And it was like stealing candy from a baby."

"We need to be careful," she said quietly, "This guy is a professional."

"This girl gets it," Phanthomas said loudly, taking a step towards the group. Goomeredith took a step back, but Mario and Koopious held their ground. Phanthomas kept walking forward until he stood right in front of Koopious. "Now, I think it's clear that I need you to help me open that door, correct?"

Koopious nodded. "I knew that as soon as I heard you all were coming to town."

"And I don't suppose you have any plans of stopping me from getting to the treasure, do you?" He bent over so that his head was looming right above Koopious'.

Koopious stared right up at Phanthomas, appearing unfazed. "I just want to make sure you don't hurt the other monks." Mario tried not to smile as he watched. This guy was a natural liar.

"Then what are you doing with those two?" Phanthomas asked, pointing to Mario and Goomeredith.

Koopious shrugged. "I can't speak for them. They followed me here."

"Well then," Phanthomas said as he walked back towards the temple's entrance. "I guess I should show you two what you'll have to deal with if you try to fight me." He took a deep breath and whistled so loudly that it echoed throughout the town. "Boys!" he shouted.

Before long, a huge group of bandits poured from the temple. There were nineteen in all, each a standard red bandit. They swarmed behind Phanthomas, making a full group of twenty. "This," said Phanthomas, sweeping his arms to the side and looking over his shoulder, "Is what you'll have to deal with." He turned to the rust of the Mugging Mountaineers. "Point made, you all can head back into the temple." The bandits spoke their various affirmations and returned inside.

"Mama-mia," Mario whispered.

"I think you all know that I will be getting my way." Phanthomas waited for three defeated nods before continuing. "Oh, by the way, monk, there's one other thing I must ask of you and your companions."

"They're not my-"

"Whatever," Phanthomas said with a wave of his hand. "When we attacked Moonview Temple, we know that the other monks didn't leave the building, but they still have managed to elude us. So, unless you'd like to watch me and my boys dismantle the entire building, I suggest you look for them."

"Why can't you and your men look?" Koopious asked, refusing to move.

"Because my men are a bit dim, I have better things to think about, and you live here. Any more questions? I'm starting to feel a bit destructive."

"If that's how it's going to be, then I guess I'm out of questions." Koopious started walking towards the temple. "Come on guys, let's get looking."

They followed Phanthomas through the front door, entering into a large rectangular room. Like the outside of the building, the walls were made of white clay. Blue tapestries were hung from the northern and western walls, detailed with golden thread, but what exactly they were supposed to depict was unclear. A carpet of the same color and containing the same unknown patterns sat on the floor. Benches made of the same white clay as the walls bordered the room and the nineteen bandits were all sitting around on them, not even trying to look productive.

In the center of the left wall was a clay door with a handle on the bottom. There were five blue, glowing moons on the door. Clearly this was the door leading to the treasures. To the right and straight ahead were two doorways, blocked off only by curtains made of black string and blue beads.

Phanthomas flopped down on an empty spot on one of the benches. "Alright, get looking!"

"I'm sure at least one of them went to keep watch over the altar," Koopious said, immediately heading towards the doorway on the right. Mario followed him, pushing aside the beaded curtain and entering a thin hallway. As he walked through, he noticed small indents in the wall that held large candles that smelled kind of like lilac. So far the temple was a cute little place. Well, it would have been cute were it not swarming with bandits.

They walked into a long room with a blue carpet running down the middle and clay seats on either side of it. At the end of the room was a wide clay altar painted blue with a silver moon on the top. There was a large mural on the back wall depicting seven floating moons with faces and different outfits. They floated above the world with a large wand topped by a blue crescent on the end. Mario nearly laughed at how similar they looked to the Star Spirits.

After looking around for a few moments, Koopious ran up to a wooden podium sitting beside the altar. Tucked within the podium was an enormous shell, about twice the size of Koopious' own. "Elder, do not fear, it's me, Koopious," the young monk whispered to the shell.

The shell lazily rolled out from the podium and out into an open patch of floor. A set of wrinkled, burnt orange limbs popped out of the shell. A silvery robe, patterned just like Koopious', popped out of the head-hole and carefully draped itself over the Koopa's body and around his limbs. Finally, the head popped out with a necklace of blue beads. His head was large, especially the thick, curved beak, which looked like it could crack Mario's head like a small nut. He opened his eyes, which barely peaked out under massive, white eyebrows.

"Koopious," he said. He spoke very slowly with a deep voice that creaked under the weight of his many years. "So you have removed those who sought to defile our sacred temple?"

Koopious shook his head, keeping his eyes glued to the floor. "My apologies, Elder Kooparish, they are too numerous to stop for the time being. But I do have a plan." He leaned in to whisper into the elder's ear.

Kooparish nodded slowly. "Yes, that is very noble of you. I would call for the other monks, but I am sure that they would assume it's a trap by the bandits, so I shall leave the hunt to you." He began to walk towards the lobby, but stopped once he passed Mario and Goomeredith. "And who are you two?"

"I'm Mario, and this is Princess Goomeredith," Mario said, making sure to pronounce "Mario" as clearly as possible. He wasn't about to let another old man get his name wrong. "We were actually on our way to visit the temple when we saw the bandits attack, so we thought we'd help get rid of them."

Kooparish smiled at them. "You two are quite noble as well. I welcome you to Moonview Temple, Mario and Goomeredith, though I wish I could have welcomed you under more pleasant circumstances. I shall pray for your success." Without another word, he walked out of the altar room and towards the lobby.

Koopious led them back through the lobby. The bandits laughed and jeered at them as they passed through, but they all kept their eyes down and headed straight for the northern doorway. They walked through a hallway similar to the previous one, though with various other rooms splintering off from it. Koopious took them into the first room on the left.

"The bathroom?" Mario looked around confusedly. "I didn't realize you guys had indoor plumbing."

Koopious quickly glared at him before dropping to his knees and opening up the cabinet below the sink. "We like modern conveniences, you know," he said, unamused, "We're not the 'sit up on a mountain doing nothing but breathing' sort of monks."

"You're already doing half of that," Mario said, pulling back the shower curtain and finding nothing.

"Bite me."

"Guys, hold on!" Goomeredith said sternly. Mario and Koopious quieted down until they heard a faint rattling coming from the back corner of the room. They slowly turned towards the toilet, which was now shaking back and forth. Koopious raised an eyebrow and slowly opened the lid.

"Oh moons, please don't kill me!" someone wailed. A green Koopa shell shot up out of the toilet and landed in the middle of the bathroom. The trio just stared at it for a few moments until it started to shake violently.

"Koopagan, it's alright, it's me," Koopious said, shaking his head.

A tall, orange Koopa head popped out of the shell. He had a long, dull beak and tall eyes with dark bags under them. "Oh," he said, once he saw the younger monk, "Why didn't you just say so?" His thin arms and legs popped out and he stood. He was a bit skinnier than the average Koopa, and much taller, about Mario's height.

"Sorry, I was arguing with this heathen over here," Koopious said, pointing to Mario. Mario introduced himself and Goomeredith and shook Koopagan's hand.

"So I guess you got rid of the bandits then?" Koopagan asked, looking around nervously, as if a bandit was going to pop out of the drain.

Koopious shook his head. "They want us to let the into them lower temple."

"Yikes!" Koopagan made a mad dash back towards the toilet, tucking his arms into his shell as he went.

Koopious stuck out an arm and grabbed Koopagan before he could hide. "Don't worry, I'll handle them." He leaned in and whispered to Koopagan for a few seconds.

Koopagan slowly nodded and stood up straight. "R-right. Let's hope this works."

"It will," said Koopious, "Why don't you go meet Elder Kooparish back in the lobby?"

Koopagan took a step towards the door, but stopped as soon as he heard the rumble of the bandits' voices. " _They_ are in there, aren't they?" he said with an exaggerated gulp.

Koopious patted him on the back and pushed him towards the doorway. "Be strong." Koopagan sighed and walked towards the hallway. The trio heard mocking shouts followed by an exaggerated chant of "Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Sacrifice!" and laughter. Koopious grinned sheepishly. "He'll be fine."

He led them out of the bathroom and over to the next door on the right. They entered into a bedroom. Five twin-size beds lined the wall to the right, each with a name carved into the headboard. Several of them had a few names that were carved in and later scratched out. There were a bunch of windows cut out of the wall straight across from the door, perhaps to let the moon shine on the monks as they slept. Another blue rug sat on the floor in front of the beds and on the right wall across from the beds sat a wooden chest with a bulky TV on top of it.

Mario opened his mouth to comment on the TV, but decided against it when he saw Koopious staring at him, a snarky response forming on his tongue. Instead, he walked up to the beds, got on the floor, and looked under them. "I found another monk!"

Koopious calmly walked over to the beds and peaked under. "Wow, they didn't even try to look for us, did they? You can come out, Koopreach."

The Koopa crawled out from under the bed and stood up in front of the trio. He was shorter than the average Koopa, but very stocky, and his skin was a much stronger orange than the other monks'. He looked at Mario and Goomeredith and made a noise halfway between a sigh and a growl. "Oh moons, Koopious, why did you bring outsiders here?"

"I know, I know, I didn't want them here either," Koopious said.

"You know, we're right he-"

"But the bandits are a bigger problem, wouldn't you agree?"

Koopreach turned so Mario and Goomeredith would be out of his peripheral vision. "Just barely. I suppose we can get them to fight and compensate for my old bones."

"About that," said Koopious, "I don't think we can take them all on right now."

"Then why even bother bringing in the heathens?" snapped Koopreach, stomping his feet on the hard clay. "Here I am, having taken you under my wing, and you betray me by bringing in a couple of useless intruders?"

Koopious backed away from the older monk. "I- I still have a plan," he said quietly.

"Then let's hear it." Koopious whispered his plan to Koopreach, but Koopreach's expression didn't really change. "I guess that could work. Whatever, I'm gonna go wait by the door." Koopreach stomped out without looking at Mario or Goomeredith.

Koopious walked towards the exit, not looking up. "Sorry about him," he said. "I mean, he's right, you don't need to be here, but he doesn't know that you helped me survive the Luna Wiggler, so he's being a little harsh."

Mario leaned in towards Goomeredith. "I think that's the nicest thing he's said to me so far," he whispered.

Goomeredith giggled and nodded. "I think so!" she whispered back.

They followed Koopious down the hall to the final room: a kitchen. Unlike the rest of the temple, the floor wasn't made of clay, instead it was a black and white checkered pattern of tiles. On one wall was an L-shaped granite counter with black cabinets above and below it and a stainless steel sink in the very middle. On one side of the sink was a black stove, on which sat a covered steel pot, on the other side was a microwave, and next to the short side of the counter was a refrigerator. In the other corner of the room was a small wooden table with five chairs pulled up to it.

Koopious began opening up the cabinets and sticking his head in. "Kooprayer is pretty small, so he could be hiding anywhere in the room," he said.

"Got it." Mario opened up the refrigerator and started looking through the shelves. "Man, you guys eat well here."

"Are you looking through our food?"  
Mario patted his gut. "Listen, I haven't had anything to eat since last night's dinner."

Koopious groaned as he slammed one of the cabinets shut. "Listen, if we can get these bandits out of here, I'll take _you_ out to dinner, deal?"

Mario smiled at him. "Deal."

"Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think we've searched everywhere in the temple," Goomeredith announced.

Koopious looked around the room suspiciously. "No, he has to be around here somewhere." He slowly walked up to the stove. "I don't remember anyone cooking this morning." He pulled the lid off of the pot. "Oh my moons, Kooprayer."

A tiny head popped out of a shell in the pot, barely peaking out at the trio. "Oh, hello. How long have you been here, Koopious?"

"You didn't hear us talking?"

Kooprayer shrugged. "Pots got good sound-proofing apparently." He hopped from the pot onto the floor, revealing that he was barely larger than Goomeredith. He had stubby little arms and legs and chubby cheeks. Goomeredith had to resist the urge to start gushing.

There was an awkward silence before Koopious leaned in and whispered to Kooprayer. The smaller monk looked up at him and nodded. "Sounds good," he said simply and waddled off towards the lobby.

"He's so cute!" Goomeredith finally said once Kooprayer had left. "O-M-S, he's so wittle!"

Koopious shot her a disturbed look. "You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what he's done in the name of our religion," he said before walking out.

"Was he kidding?" she asked quickly.

Mario shrugged. "He doesn't seem like the joking type," he said before following Koopious. Goomeredith shook her head, trying to clear out any disturbed thoughts and followed them back to the lobby.

When they arrived Phanthomas had already gotten the other for monks to stand in front of the door. He looked over at Koopious as he entered and emitted the feeling of grinning. "Excellent work, you three. Now then, shall we finish the job?"


	9. A Shadow in the Temple - Part 5

Phanthomas stood back with his arms crossed as the five monks approached the door. Koopious stood in the center of the group. "Are you all ready?" Koopious asked. The other four nodded and in unison they stepped forward and each placed a palm on the glowing moons. The blue glow slowly spread from the moons, enveloping the entire door until the whole thing was glowing light blue.

"How are they doing this?" Mario whispered to Goomeredith. Goomeredith was too mesmerized by the process to respond.

Koopious bent down and grabbed the door's handle. With a mighty grunt, he yanked on the door, pulling it up until there was an opening suitably tall to walk through.

Phanthomas clapped his hands together. "Excellent! I thank you all for your coopera-"

"How's this for cooperation?" Koopious shouted, dashing under the door and slamming it shut, sealing himself on the other side. "Give up, fiend!" his muffled voiced called, "No matter what you do, there's no way you can make me open the door."

Phanthomas lowered his head and stayed silent. Mario thought his rage was gathering, but after a moment, he began to laugh. "Mountaineers!" he suddenly shouted, "Why don't you cheer me on?"

The bandits began to whoop in rhythm, pumping their fists as they shouted. The cheer started slowly, but soon picked up the pace until they were constant, sounding like a train thundering down its tracks. Phanthomas spread out his arms, leaned his head back, and started to growl.

Mario and Goomeredith watched in horror as Phanthomas' body turned completely black, as if the room's light wasn't even touching him. His body then started to turn translucent until he looked like a shadow that had pried itself off the ground. He cackled wildly and marched towards the door.

"Fancy transformations won't help you open that door!" said Koopreach. He was the only monk who hadn't fled from beside the door.

Phanthomas didn't look at Koopreach, though it would have been hard to tell if he did. "Who said anything about that?" Rather than wait for any more questions, he stepped forward, passing right through the door. The Mugging Mountaineers let out one last deafening cheer for their leader as he phased through.

They heard a surprised scream from the other side of the door, making Mario, Goomeredith, and the monks cringe and the bandits laugh. "How did you do that?" Koopious shouted. There was another scream and a thud directly on the door. After a few moments, the shadow of Phanthomas walked back through the door, carrying another shadow. He threw the shadow onto the ground and it regained its opacity and color, revealing Koopious. He was clutching his beak and groaning quietly. The bandits laughed and jeered at him.

Phanthomas allowed himself to return to normal. Mario noticed that he was breathing heavily and sweating a bit. "Now you see what you're up against," he said, kicking Koopious in the shell.

Kooparish had to cover his eyes with his massive hands. "Please, be gentle with my monks!"

Phanthomas snorted. "I'll be gentle when you learn your place!" The crowd of bandits gave a roar of support. He dropped to one knee right next to Koopious. "Now then," he hissed in the youngest monk's ear, "Let's follow orders this time. If you try another one of your juvenile plans then it'll be the other monks who are writhing on the floor, got it?"

Koopious wiped the pained tears from his eyes and nodded. "Yeah," he said as he stood up, "I got it." Once again, the five monks approached the door and put their hands on the moons. After the door lit up blue once again, Phanthomas walked up and opened it himself. He walked a few feet in before turning back to the monks. "Just as I suspected. You fools have a whole dungeon down here, don't you?"

Koopious nodded and stepped forward, though he was still clutching his stomach. "That's right, no matter what weird powers you have, you'll never be able to get through!"

Phanthomas took a quick step towards Koopious. "Is it because I'm not a monk?" Koopious quickly started to back away from the bandit boss. "Right again!" He grabbed Koopious by the collar of his robe. "I'll have to take one of you with me then. Might as well make it the one who needs to learn his place." He pulled Koopious into the doorway, ignoring the Koopa's flailing kicks, and waved to the other bandits. "Come on boys!"

"Let's move out!" shouted one of the bandits. They simultaneously got up and poured into the door, pushing Mario, Goomeredith, and the monks out of their way, but respectfully dodging Phanthomas.

Phanthomas turned back to the six people remaining in the lobby. "I have two last rules for you: first, don't close the door on us. I'd like to be able to let my men out without having to beat up more of you guys- out of laziness, not out of any sort of respect. I won't hesitate to get my men to destroy the temple if you disobey this rule." The four monks gulped nervously at his warning. "Second," he continued, "Don't follow us in. My men will be on patrol and they _will_ beat you up before you can get far. Any questions?" They stared at him for a moment as Koopious desperately struggled to escape his grasp. "I guess not," he finally said, "Well then, you all behave yourselves." He turned around and Koopious let out one last scream of frustration as they descended the stairs into the lower temple.

Everyone stared at the empty doorway. Their one hope of stopping the Mugging Mountaineers had failed miserably, and now they had even lost Koopious. Once the immediate shock had worn off, Koopreach was the first to step forward. "I'll kill him," he said in a low growl, pushing up his sleeves.

Koopagan jumped in front of the doorway, waving his harms and shaking his head wildly, shouting "No no no no no!" He started to cough and his thin legs began to wobble. "Oh moons, they're gonna rob us blind!"

"Please everyone, calm down," said Kooparish, walking over and placing his hands on the monks' shoulders. "We cannot take this laying down-"

Koopreach grinned. "Thank you for seeing it my way, el-"

"But!" Kooparish said loudly, getting Koopreach to shut his beak. "We also can't rush in like fools. The enemy is strong and we are but old men, we must take the utmost care."

Mario loudly cleared his throat, getting the four monks' attention. "If you don't mind us butting in, Goomeredith and I aren't old men, and we'd be happy to help."

Koopreach snorted. "Yeah, because a couple of random kids off the street are good enough to help us."

Kooparish folded his arms and glared the stocky monk. "Koopreach, do you not remember the traps that our ancestors set up? To get here, they must have taken part in defeating the Luna Wiggler. Does that not say anything about their abilities?"

Koopreach clenched his fists and looked away. "Not particularly, but I can tell that you're going to overrule me on this, so it's up to you, elder."

"Then it's settled." Kooparish smiled and turned towards Mario and Goomeredith. "We are eternally grateful for your effort. Come, let us take a walk and discuss our plans. The fresh air should clear our heads."

"You're really going to give them that much of a head start?" grumbled Koopreach.

"I am giving them time to disperse so that we may have a chance to defeat them," Kooparish said sternly before walking out of the temple. Mario and Goomeredith followed close behind him and were soon greeted by the harsh mountain winds.

* * *

Down in the first floor of the lower temple, the Mugging Mountaineers stood at the edge of a chasm. Twenty feet ahead of them was a platform with a set of stairs heading down to the next floor. Painted on the ground on their side of the gap was a diagram of the phases of the moon with a full moon in the center.

"Alright, so I take it we need a monk to get through here, right?" Phanthomas asked, yanking Koopious by the collar to face him.

"Actually, you're expected to grow wings," Koopious said. He looked ready to strangle Phanthomas if he was able to break free. Phanthomas promptly slapped him across the face, leaving a red, glove-shaped mark.

"So here's my theory, and tell me if I'm wrong: you guys are crazy when it comes to your security. Therefore, you probably have a bunch of these pits blocking my way to the valuable stuff, and you probably need all five of you guys to get down there. But you all also need a way to check out the treasure for yourselves, so I'm guessing you have four pits and one final area where you hide your most valuable treasure. How's that sound?"

Koopious glared at him and didn't answer. "Excellent!" Phanthomas said, clapping his hands together. "Here's the deal: you're gonna use your freaky monk powers to make a bridge for my men. If you drop them in that pit then you'll be joining them, got it?"

"And how do you expect to activate the other bridges?" Koopious asked, still sitting on the ground.

"I'm resourceful. Now then, make us a bridge."

"Will I get slapped if I don't?"

Koopious felt Phanthomas grin again. "I think you get it."

Koopious grumbled as he got to his feet. "I'm gonna need to stand on the center of that painting," he said to the bandits, pointing at the ground. The bandits lazily walked backwards until the painting was entirely free. Koopious moved to the very center of the painting, standing on the full moon. He faced the pit, clasped his hands, and closed his eyes. "Honorable Moon Spirit Keystoon, I call upon thee!" The diagram glowed blue and a blue aura surrounded Koopious. Several of the bandits yelped and jumped back. "I request a bridge," he said. His voice was amplified to a boom that filled the whole room. "Send your guidance to me!"

A thin, blue beam of light shot out of the side of the platform, stretching across the gap and stopping at the other side. "There," said Koopious, opening his eyes. "The bridge should last as long as I stand here."

"If there's one thing I like about weird religions like yours, it's the oddly specific spells," Phanthomas said, staring at the wavy patterns in the light bridge.

"Please don't call my religion weird," Koopious said, clenching his fists.

"Considering I got its five practicing members to surrendering to me, I think I can call it whatever I want," Phanthomas said, lightly flicking Koopious on the beak. He turned to the rest of the Mugging Mountaineers. "Clyde! Drake! Larson! You three stay on this floor and search for loot. Everyone else, cross the bridge." He turned to Koopious. "Really, you will _suffer_ if you dump my men in that pit."

"You really don't like anyone else holding any power, do you?" Koopious glared at him, sneering.

Phanthomas said nothing as the bandits crossed the bridge. Once the sixteenth crossed, he immediately swung at Koopious, catching him in the jaw with an uppercut. "That," he said, "and brats who haven't learned when to shut up." He walked up to Koopious, who was nursing his jaw and groaning, and grabbed him by the collar, dragging him towards a wall. He turned them both into shadows and leaped into the wall, emerging on the other side of the gap moments later.

"Now then," he said, wiping sweat from his brow, "let's see what else this temple of yours has to offer."

* * *

Meanwhile, outside Moonview Temple, Mario, Goomeredith, and Kooparish sat on a rock near the site of the destroyed bridge. Paratroopas flew around busily, some working to repair the bridge's foundation on either side and others were stretching a rebuilt segment of the bridge across the ravine, seeing how much they needed to add on.

Kooparish had just finished explaining the five floors on the lower temple and the gaps between them. "Each floor serves as more than just a defensive measure," he continued, "they also contain treasures of their own."

"Oh!" Goomeredith said, looking excited to contribute, "You mean like the Millennium Necklace?"

Kooparish raised his eyebrows, revealing enough of his eyes to show that they were widened. "I didn't think anyone knew that a piece of Hero Alessa's armor was in our possession other than the monks and the royal family," he said quietly.

"Well you're looking at a princess right now!" Goomeredith said. "Wait," she said to herself, "Daddy wouldn't appreciate me being so casual. Can we try that again?" she asked. She sat up straight and cleared her throat. "Hello, I am Princess Goomeredith of Shinebright Bluffs, pleased to meet you."

Kooparish laughed a hearty, booming laugh. "I assure you, princess, your efforts to save our temple more than warrant any casual behavior." He suddenly looked away and furrowed his brow. "Though," he said quietly, "I am confused as to why any royalty would be visiting us."

"Goomeredith," Mario whispered, "Maybe we shouldn't mention tha-"

"Funny story, actually!" Goomeredith said, clearly not having heard Mario, "We were actually looking to collect the Millennium Armor."

Mario groaned inwardly, staring nervously at Kooparish. He was waiting for Kooparish to explode just like Koopious had at the restaurant, but that moment never came. Instead, the elder monk sighed loudly and stared up at the dark patches in the sky. "Just as I feared."

They let him stare solemnly at the sky for a few moments before Goomeredith quietly spoke up. "Would you be okay if we borrowed the necklace? It's very important."

Rather than respond, Kooparish just let out another sigh. "Are you two not curious as to why a piece of armor is our most sacred possession?" he said after a long pause.

Mario shrugged. "To be honest, this is how these artifacts usually work, I stopped questioning it a long time ago."

"Will you at least hear an old man out?"

Mario nodded. "Of course."

"When I was in Koopious' place, a junior monk far younger than the rest, my elder told me a tale about the Millennium Armor. Around 500 years ago, our kingdom was besieged by the greatest evil known to this world. At that time, we were without a hero. Alessa had fled in search of a way to make herself strong enough to slay the beast, but in her absence the kingdom was completely overrun with darkness. Reginoir had blanketed our skies in darkness."

Kooparish nervously looked up at the sky and continued. "Three days after his arrival, Reginoir began descending upon our cities. Nearly everything laying beyond the mountains was completely obliterated. The monks of old had nearly lost hope. They prayed desperately for Alessa to find strength and return swiftly, but no matter how much they prayed, the beast continued unopposed."

"On the sixth day of Alessa's absence, Reginoir set his sights on Brightendale. Everyone in the kingdom knew that if Brightendale fell, Shinebright Bluffs, and perhaps the rest of civilization, would fall with it. But, on the darkest of nights, the moon shall shine the brightest. And shine it did. The Moon Spirits granted our wishes and Alessa returned that day, clad in the most powerful armor known to this world. It was nothing short of a miracle. Had she obtained anything weaker we would have all been done for."

"I'm sure you see my point," Kooparish said after a brief pause. "We believe that the armor was a gift from the Moon Spirits themselves. Only those chosen to save the kingdom are worthy of possessing it."

Mario furrowed his brow and opened his mouth, but Goomeredith nudged him in the ribs before he could object. "We understand, elder," she said gently.

Kooparish cleared his throat. "Nevertheless, we should get back to our plan. We need to make sure that all of our treasures are safe. So, I feel that we ought to knock out the bandits on each floor."

Mario shook his head. "That won't be enough. If they wake up they might be able to overpower whoever we leave there and go after the treasure. No offense, but the treasure is probably safer with us."

"I can already hear Koopreach's complaints," Kooparish said to himself, rubbing his temples. "I suppose you two look more capable than a few old men, no matter how much we have trained. So yes, as we travel towards Phanthomas, you shall collect the temple's treasures, including the Millennium Necklace, to make sure that the bandits do not pilfer them before we drive them away."

Mario and Goomeredith raised their eyebrows at the prospect of gathering the necklace, but tried not to look too excited. "Of course," they said quickly. "And," added Mario, "we should still take out the bandits on each floor to keep you all safe."

Kooparish nodded. "Well then, shall we head inside? I think we've given the bandits ample time to spread out among the floors and we shouldn't give Phanthomas any more of an advantage."

* * *

Mario, Goomeredith, and the four monks stood at the entrance to the lower temple. Koopreach was cracking his knuckles, Koopagan looked ready to scream, and Kooprayer looked indifferent to the whole situation.

Kooparish led the way through the door, followed quickly by Mario and Goomeredith, then the rest of the monks. The walls, floor, and ceiling, like the upper temple, were made of white clay that, now that Mario thought about it, didn't seem to be from the area. They passed through a short hallway that led to a thin staircase.

"If anyone needs to make any last minute preparations, now is the time to do so," Kooparish said, his voice echoing through the small chamber.

"Unless 'running away' counts as a preparation, then I guess I'm ready," Koopagan said with a soft sigh. The group waited for a moment in case someone decided to object, then descended into the lower temple.

The staircase was bathed in blue light, similar in color to the moons on the door. Mario looked up and saw crescent-shaped crystals hanging from the ceiling, shining blue. The group walked down the stairs in silence, with only the echo of their footsteps reverberating throughout their path. That is, until they heard a faint giggle.

Kooparish held out a hand to get the group to stop. "Bandits may lie just outside this staircase," he said quietly.

Koopreach pounded his fists together and grinned. "Twenty bandits may be too much for these old bones, but if we catch a small group, heh, they'll get to see what happens when you mess with the Moonview Monks."


	10. A Shadow in the Temple - Part 6

**Author's Notes: Here we are: finally properly within Moonview Temple! If you want a good song to put you in the mood for this dungeon, I suggest Sol Sanctum from Golden Sun (ironic, I know). Anyways, enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

On the first level of the lower temple, two bandits stood in a rectangular chamber, which was about twice as large as an average bedroom. To the east was the staircase leading to the surface, to the north was a mysterious other room that the third bandit was exploring, and to the west was a hallway leading to the gap that Phanthomas and the other bandits had crossed. The room was totally barren except for the glowing crystal moons hanging from the ceiling.

"So then I see some fat doofus walking through town, obviously a tourist, so I figure he's loaded, ya' know?" said one.

"My favorite kind of target," said the other, rubbing his gloved hands together and grinning.

"So yeah, I run by, grab his money, and shout 'Ooops, pardon me, sucker!' for an extra sting. Oh man, you should have seen the look on his face, it was priceless! But then, you won't believe the nerve of this guy, he actually went and found me! It was cra-"

"Hold on, Larson," the other bandit said, holding up a hand for silence. "You hear something?" The stood in silence for a moment, until the faint sound of a footstep echoed from the staircase.

"You can't be serious," said Larson, slowly holding up his fists. "Are they really stupid enough to come after us?"

Suddenly, a shell shot out of the stairwell, gliding effortlessly across the air, and hit the other bandit right in the face, knocking him off his feet. Koopreach popped out of his shell and turned to face Larson. "Stupid maybe isn't the right word."

"Drake!" Larson called, looking down at his dazed comrade. He turned back towards Koopreach and pulled back a fist. "You made a big mistake, old-timer!"

Another, much larger shell, slid down the stairs and stopped beside Larson. Kooparish popped out of his shell and loomed over Larson, furious eyes peaking out from under his eyebrows. "Do not be quick to judge," he said, his booming voice echoing through the chamber.

Mario jumped out of the stairwell, brandishing his hammer, and ran up to Larson's right side. Goomeredith quickly took a position behind him.

Larson snickered to himself for a second, covering his mouth with his hand. "And who is this guy you're bringing in, some kind of fat tourist?"

By this point, Drake had gotten up and got next to Mario so he was trapped between the two bandits. Before he could do anything, two more shells rolled in. The thinner one stopped right in front of him, giving it a direct path to the exit, and the smaller one went to his right, by the door to the other chamber.

Larson cracked his knuckles. "Come on Drake, we can handle these jokers."

"Agreed." Drake took some swings at the air.

"Goomeredith," Mario said as he raised his hammer above his head, "what does that book have to say about bandits?" As Goomeredith flipped through the pages of the tattle log, Mario swung his hammer, hitting Larson in his smug face.

"Alright, that does it!" screeched Larson, holding his face in his hands. "I'mma rob ya' of your money, then rob ya' of your life!" He started blindly swinging his fists at the group, who all jumped back to avoid him.

"Ah, I got it!" said Goomeredith, holding up the book. "Bandits: they're exactly what they sound like-" Mario yanked her out of the way as Drake tried to punch her. "And just as rude as you'd expect! They attack with punches and dashes," she paused as Larson punched Koopagan in the cheek, "Yeah, like that. They can also steal your coins without you noticing."

"Sounds about right," said Larson. He chortled loudly as he held up Goomeredith's coin purse. Before he could pocket it, though, Kooparish's massive shell hit him in the back, knocking the purse out of his grasp and into Goomeredith's "hands".

"If they take your coins, hit them _really h_ ard to get them back," she said with an annoyed huff. "They're actually a little tougher than you'd expect from enemies this early in an adventure, or so this book says, but hey, I'm sure a team as large as ours will defeat them in no time!"

"About that..."

Goomeredith looked around and saw the two bandits laying on the ground. They had stars spinning above their heads and their eyes were spirals. "Yeah, I guess that's that. Good work, team!"

"Yes," said Kooparish, looking around at the group with a smile. "I believe there's hope for us."

"Hopefully," said Koopagan, stepping around the fallen bandits.

Kooparish walked towards the northern doorway. "Now then, the treasure should be in here," he said, waving for the rest of the group to follow.

Despite a fairly well lit room being mere feet away from them, the room that they walked into was completely dark. Mario held his hand right in front of his face, but couldn't even see that. "Alright," he said, "what's going on here?"

"This is the first puzzle," Kooparish said from somewhere in the room. "All we must do is find the switch that turns on the light, and the treasure shall be revealed to us."

In the darkness, something rushed forward and smacked Goomeredith in the back of the head. "Watch what you're doing, Mario!"

"That wasn't me!" Mario said from somewhere to her side. Right then, he felt the same thing hit him in the back. "Guys," he said in a dead serious tone, "I'm pretty sure there's a bandit in here." He quickly pulled out his hammer and swung it at the bandit, but instead hit Kooprayer, sending him tumbling away through the dark.

They heard Koopagan scream followed by the sound of a shell skidding along the floor, heading in Mario's direction. Koopagan hit him in the back of the legs, knocking him off his feet. "Watch it!" he tried to say, but was cut off by Koopreach's shell hitting him in the side. He jumped to his feet and started to run away, but kicked something as he went by. "Aha!" he said, holding up his hammer.

"That was me!" Goomeredith shouted. Mario couldn't see her, but she was standing right below him, shaking.

"Then where's the-" The bandit punched him in the back again. He whirled around and swung his hammer down, but it just struck the floor.

"I got him!" they heard Koopreach shout. They heard his shell skimming across the floor, closing in on where they had last heard the bandit- which was right where Mario was standing.

Mario was knocked from his feet once again. He landed on his face with a groan and tried to pry himself off the ground. "You missed," he said as he got to his knees.

Suddenly, the room lit up, revealing just how off everyone had been. Kooparish stood in the back corner of the room with his hand on an activated blue switch; Koopagan was cowering near the door; Kooprayer was on his back in a completely different corner; Mario, Goomeredith, and Koopreach were in a jumbled heap near the right side of the room; and the bandit stood in the center of the room with a sheepish grin on his face as a chest materialized behind him.

"Oh, uh, hey guys!" the bandit said, waving at them, "Thanks for the help with that puzzle. Now if you don't mind..." He turned towards the chest and began to open the lid, but was knocked aside by Mario's hammer.

"That's one treasure down," Mario said, prying open the lid of the chest as Koopreach and Kooprayer lunged at the bandit. He reached in and pulled out an object about the size of a dinner plate. It looked just like a shine sprite, except it was orange and had orbs topping all of the points. "Why do you guys have a shine sprite?" he asked, holding it up.

"Seems kinda thematically inconsistent," Goomeredith said, snatching it from Mario's hands.

Kooparish scratched his chin and shrugged. "Now that I think about it, it _is_ quite odd. I don't remember why my predecessors would claim it. Regardless, we ought to keep it safe."

"Definitely," Mario said, taking it back from Goomeredith and pocketing it. He felt the object's warmth in his pocket. "At least it keeps the place warm."

Kooparish led them out of the chamber, back to the room where they had fought the other two bandits, and through the other door. They quickly found themselves facing the same gap that Phanthomas had minutes before the monks entered the lower temple.

Koopagan ran ahead and stood in the middle of the pattern on the floor. "If you all don't mind, I'd _really_ rather not go any farther."

Kooparish nodded slowly. "We understand," he said, "You may make the first bridge."

Koopagan sighed with relief. "Alright then." He clasped his hands together and closed his eyes. "Honorable Moon Spirit Keystoon, I call upon thee!" he shouted. The diagram lit up and he was surrounded by a blue aura. "I request a bridge. Send your guidance to me!" A wide beam of light shot out of the platform, forming a bridge to the other side. "Good luck everybody!" he said, keeping his eyes shut and hands clasped.

Mario eyed the bridge suspiciously and tapped it with a cautious foot. Much to his surprise it was completely solid. He looked back and saw that Goomeredith hadn't moved towards the bridge. "Don't worry," he said, reaching out a hand, "It's safe."

"Jeez, you're braver than I was when I first crossed the bridge," Koopagan said, opening one eye to glance at him.

"Yeah, we get it. Light bridges are scary and you're brave and blah blah," grumbled Koopreach. He jumped onto the bridge and started stomping towards the other side. "Can we hurry up?"

Mario quickly hopped all the way onto the bridge and followed him. "No need to get your robes in a bunch," he muttered to himself.

Everyone filed across the bridge and descended the stairs to the second level of the lower temple. They didn't hear anyone as they walked, but they tried to stay silent nonetheless. When they reached the bottom, Mario poked his head out, expecting to see bandits, but was only met with an empty room.

"The coast is clear!" he announced, jumping out into the chamber. Goomeredith and the three monks quickly followed him.

"Drat!" said Koopreach, stomping angrily. "I bet they're all going after the treasure!" He rushed towards the door on the right. "Elder! Which puzzle is on this floor?"

"I believe," Kooparish said slowly, pausing for a moment to think, "it's the moving block challenge."

"Then they better be some clumsy little heathens." Koopreach rushed into the room. Everyone quickly followed.

They entered a chamber with a gap far wider than the stair room. It was about a hundred feet across with various squares of white rock floating statically above the gap. Below it was a deep pool of water with a latter that led back up to the entrance of the room.

Currently, a set of seven green blocks, linked together to form some sort of block snake was gliding around the gap with three bandits standing on top, trying their best to stay on.

"Oh heck no!" Koopreach shouted upon seeing the intruders. The three bandits yelped and looked over at him.

"What are those guys doing here?" one of them said. "There's no way they got passed-" The three distracted bandits failed to notice the head-level stone heading straight for them and where brutally knocked down into the water.

Koopreach and Kooprayer tucked into their shells and shot off the edge and started swimming towards the bandits. The bandits dove under water and continued to bolt towards the ladder. The Koopas tried to follow them, but couldn't go below the surface. "Curse these buoyant shells," Koopreach said, hitting the water angrily.

Mario looked up and saw that the block snake had made its way to their side of the gap and came to a stop. "Wish me luck!" he said suddenly, and jumped onto the snake.

With a little shake, the block snake took off across the gap. The speed was just low enough that Mario was able to stay balanced without any major problems. He looked around warily as floating stones whizzed by his head on either side.

Without warning, the snake made a sharp right turn. Mario was shook violently, leaning forward until he was nearly horizontal, yet he somehow managed to stay on. Right as he regained his balance, the snake took a dramatic turn to the left, nearly throwing him off once again. This was quickly followed by a second left turn, which Mario was a little more prepared for.

Mario was now approaching the section where the bandits had been knocked off. He immediately caught sight of a large block floating at head-level. He threw himself to his knees and tucked down his head as the snake rushed under it. With a sigh of relief, he stood back up and dusted off his pants.

And then he was promptly swept off the block snake by a block floating at his feet. "Mama mia!" he screamed, plummeting down into the dark pool. The water felt nearly freezing. The coldness seemed to squeeze him, forcing the air from his lungs. He looked up panickedly, seeing how far he was from the surface.

 _'Come on, this can't be it_ ,' Mario thought to himself, swimming as fast as he could. _'Super Mario, killed off by a pool of water. Ridiculous!'_ He kicked as hard as he could, reaching out towards the shimmering surface.

His head finally broke the surface and he let out a loud gasp. He looked around, trying to get his bearings. The three monks and three bandits were facing off up on dry land while Goomeredith edged towards the block snake.

 _'Oh boy,'_ Mario thought. _'She's gonna be in for a rough surprise.'_ As he grabbed the ladder and started climbing, he heard a loud scream and a splash. ' _And there she goes.'_

Mario pulled himself up onto the platform and pulled out his hammer. "Alright, let's finish these guys off."

Koopreach snorted as he dodged one of the bandits' punches. "How was your swim?"

Mario rolled his eyes and sprung into action, landing on a bandit before it could hit Kooprayer. Another bandit ran in and punched him in the side, knocking him slightly off balance. Before the bandit could strike again, Kooparish slid in and hit him so hard that he was sent flying off the platform and down into the water.

In the chaos of the fight, the monks hadn't noticed the block snake return, and Mario caught sight of one of the bandits stepping onto it. He leaped over Koopreach and ran onto the snake just before it departed.

The bandit whirled around to face him. "One at a time, buster!" He punched Mario in the gut and grabbed him by the shoulders, attempting to throw him off the snake. Mario did his best to hold his ground and reached out to grab the bandit by his collar. He slowly lifted his arm, pulling the bandit into the air. The bandit's face slowly went from a cocky grin to a fearful scowl. "Come on buddy," the bandit said in his kindest voice while simultaneously shaking Mario by his shoulders as hard as he could.

Mario sighed loudly, looked away from the bandit, and threw him as hard as he could. The bandit immediately lost his grip and plummeted into the pool, shouting curse words as he went. With that out of the way, Mario turned his attention to the bigger challenge of the room: actually making it across.

* * *

lindrical chamber. The walls were made up of small blue and silver tiles that seemed like they were in a pattern, but not in one that made any sense. Phanthomas surveyed the room for a moment before turning towards Koopious.

"So," he said, looking down on the monk, "what's the puzzle."

Koopious glared back and got to his feet. "Like I'd ever tell you," he said in a low voice.

Phanthomas snickered and turned back towards the walls. "So you admit there is a puzzle!" he said, gleefully clapping his hands together. "That's all I really need to know. You stay put while I figure this out."

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen," Koopious said, tucking into his shell. He rocketed towards Phanthomas, who slowly turned around to see him. _'All I needed was to surprise him,'_ Koopious thought. _'He's surely a weakling.'_

Phanthomas looked down at the shell spinning towards him and let out a quick snicker. Without any fanfare, his body turned into a shadow in a fraction of a second. Koopious' shell shot through him harmlessly and he quickly turned around, regained opacity, and stomped down on the shell.

Koopious popped out of his shell with a loud grunt. _'So much for that.'_

"Listen, kid," Phanthomas said grabbing Koopious by his robes, "If that's how it's gonna be then you're gonna have to sit in time out." He began dragging Koopious out of the room (ignoring his loud protests) and took him all the way up the staircase to the fourth level. With one last, quick glare at Koopious, he turned both their bodies into shadows and hopped into the wall. Koopious was thrown out on the other side of the gap and Phanthomas emerged back on his side a few seconds later. "There, now you can't get in my way." Phanthomas seemed to grin again as he turned away and returned to the final chamber.

"You villain," Koopious screeched, slamming his fists on the ground, "Get back here!" There was no response. "I'll kill you!"

* * *

Several splashes and many more punches later, the three bandits were defeated and Mario found himself on the other side of the gap. Before him sat a small, wooden chest with a lock that had long since rusted away. He casually tapped the chest with his boot and it swung open, revealing a large, clear crystal inside. He carefully reached in and pulled out the object, revealing it to be a gem in the shape of a crescent moon.

"Ah yes, the Moon of Knowledge," Kooparish said once Mario had returned to the rest of the group. "Legends say that it can answer any question its owner asks it."

Goomeredith leaned in close to the moon and examined her reflection. "That's… that's incredible!" she said after a moment. "Why isn't this your greatest treasure?"

"The legends were wrong," replied Kooprayer. Mario and Goomeredith started, surprised to hear him speak. "We asked it many questions, but all it did was give us ramen recipes that it claimed were 'worthy of the Moon Spirits Themselves'."

Kooparish patted his stomach and grinned. "For the record, it was right."


	11. A Shadow in the Temple - Part 7

"Punks! You're all just a bunch of punks!" The third bandit of the third level of the lower temple slowly backed away from his fallen comrades, holding up his fists defensively. Mario, Goomeredith, Kooparish, and Koopreach approached him (Kooprayer had stayed behind to create the second bridge). Koopreach dashed towards him and tucked into his shell, forcing the bandit to jump to the left, right into the line of Mario's hammer. The bandit spun around dramatically for a moment before falling to the floor.

"It's kinda funny, actually," Koopreach said, standing back up. "They spread out specifically to guard the temple, yet it's the only thing that's let us defeat them."

Kooparish nodded slowly. "We are lucky that Phanthomas underestimated the strength of us and our allies."

"True true," said Koopreach. He suddenly whirled towards Mario and Goomeredith and pointed a claw at them. "But don't think I'm giving you any credit, alright? You still shouldn't be here." Without waiting for Mario's response, he turned away from them and headed towards the puzzle room.

Goomeredith shot the monk a dirty look and Mario just sighed. "Yeah," he said, "sometimes you just gotta deal with people like that."

"It's," began Goomeredith, pausing to sigh, "a bit demoralizing to be honest. We're doing all this work for him and we're getting no appreciation!" She huffed loudly, blowing a strand of hair out of her face.

"Look," Mario said, resting his hand on her head (the closest thing she had to a shoulder), "You're a hero now. Sometimes being good has to be the reward."

Goomeredith slowly smiled and looked up. "You know, I think you have a point-"

"Though I'd really appreciate it if that guy would be just a _little_ grateful," Mario said through clenched teeth, gripping his hammer tight.

"Right."

Kooparish poked his head out from the doorway. "Are you two coming?"

Goomeredith nodded. "Yes, sorry! Come on Mario!" Trying not to betray their frustration, Mario and Goomeredith entered the third puzzle chamber.

The chamber was a medium-sized, square room. With the exception of the lighting fixtures, the walls and ceiling were entirely barren. What really commanded the attention of the room was a gray stone platform sitting in the middle of the room. It was a square with a three-by-three grid of holes cut into it, and each hole was wide enough for a person to fall into.

Everyone stood around the platform, staring quizzically at it. "Perhaps we're supposed to go down one of those holes," Kooparish suggested.

"But which hole would it be?" Goomeredith asked, tilting her head to the side.

Mario hopped onto the platform. "Only one way to find out." Before he could jump down a hole, walls of silvery energy shot up on each side of the platform, trapping Mario on it. The whole platform started to shake. "Oh boy," Mario whispered, pulling out his hammer.

Suddenly, a blue stone figure of a Monty Mole ascended from one of the holes, stopping when its feet were level with the platform. "Alright, I give up! These puzzles have reached a new level of weird!"

"Mario, are you telling me you haven't heard of whack-a-mole?" Goomeredith asked. "How old _are_ you?" she added with a giggle.

Mario stared at the mole figure for a moment, not quite sure what to make of the whole thing. "Kooparish, did the ancient monks have whack-a-mole?"

"Perhaps," Kooparish said, "or perhaps things in this world simply work out perfectly. Do not fret for too long."

Mario glanced down at his hammer. "You know, I guess this isn't any more perfectly matched for me than anything on my previous adventures. Whatever, let's do this." He leaped towards the Monty Mole statue and bashed it with his hammer, causing it to sink back into the platform.

Another statue quickly appeared from a hole behind him. As he swung, another rose to his left. When he hit that one, two more appeared around him. He hit them as fast as he could, leaving the platform empty.

"Is that it?" he said apprehensively. As soon as he finished, statues shot out of all nine holes and slowly started sinking back into the platform.

"Quickly!" Kooparish called, "you must hit them before they sink."

Mario grit his teeth, tightened his grip on his hammer and lunged at the central statue, knocking it back into the platform and giving him a wider area to move. The statues were already halfway down. There was no way that he could hit them all in time.

"Unless…," he said, holding out his hammer. From his position in the center he could easily reach any of the statues. He put his hammer over his shoulder like a baseball bat, swung, and spun in a circle, hitting the eight statues as he went. After a few seconds a jolly jingle played from who-knows-where and a chest appeared in front of Mario. He reached into the chest and pulled out… "A bottle of sunblock?"

Koopreach snorted. "Ignorant as expected," he said, crossing his arms. "That's not just any bottle of sunblock. Do you really think we'd keep something so trivial down here?"

"What is it then?" Goomeredith asked, sighing quietly.

"I'll have you know, this bottle contains a magical potion invented a century ago. If agents of the sun ever attempt to wage war against the Moon Spirits, this is our ultimate defense." Koopreach stomped his foot and looked away. "Next time think before you make such a stupid assumption."

Kooparish grabbed the bottle from Mario and examined it. "Koopreach, perhaps you should act a little more humbly towards our guests."

"Is there a particular reason you're bringing this up, elder?"

Kooparish chuckled loudly. "It appears that our predecessors were confused as to what the new product known as 'sunblock' was."

Koopreach's jaw dropped and Mario could see his eye twitch slightly. He snatched the bottle from Kooparish's hands and looked at it. "You've gotta be kidding me," he muttered to himself.

"We all make mistakes," Mario said, trying his hardest not to grin. Koopreach shot him a furious glare, causing him to step back.

"Well," Koopreach said, regaining his composure, "it's at least holds sentimental value. Hold onto it, please." He shoved the bottle into Mario's hands and made his way towards the exit.

Kooparish chuckled again. "Youth, so passionate," he said before walking out.

"Youth?" Goomeredith said once he had left, "I thought the angry one was old already! How ancient is Kooparish?"

"You're just throwing everyone's age into question, aren't you?" Mario asked. "How old are _you_ , kid?"

Goomeredith gasped loudly. "Kid? I am a mature adult thank you very much!" Mario snickered loudly and left without another word.

The group made its way to the stair room and Koopreach stepped onto the pattern. "Elder, I leave the mission up to you and your wisdom," he said, clasping his hands together. "You two..." He paused to sigh. "Don't mess up."

Mario gave him a weak salute. "You got it."

Koopreach said the prayer and the bridge shot across the gap once again. "I swear," Mario heard him whisper as he passed by, "if they mess this up I'm throwing them off the mountain."

Mario rolled his eyes and walked across the bridge, following close behind Kooparish and Goomeredith right at his heels. The trio entered the stairwell and went quiet, listening for the presence of bandits. And boy did they hear them.

"You think you're hot stuff, huh?" said one bandit.

"Really, you should be cowering like a- oof!" another bandit said. The group heard a thud as he finished.

"Gary!" shouted the first bandit. "Oh, you'll pay for this!" As the group rushed faster and faster towards the next floor they heard sounds of a struggle punctuated by a thud.

Kooparish was the first to enter the main chamber and as he stepped out from the stairwell he broke out into a wide grin. "Oh thank the Moon Spirits."

Standing over three fallen bandits was Koopious. "I was beginning to worry you wouldn't come after me," he said as Mario and Goomeredith entered. He shook his head. "What was I thinking? You're too persistent for that."

"Do you trust us now?" Goomeredith asked.

Koopious looked away from them. "More than I probably should." He looked back at them, noticed they were grinning, and frowned. "But not as much as you think I do."

"Well, I am sure they will have the chance to prove themselves in due time," Kooparish said, placing his hands on Mario and Koopious' shoulders. "Now then, shall we complete this final puzzle?"

They walked into the puzzle chamber, which was totally empty except for a white pedestal that sat across the room and a blue Thwomp sitting atop it with its eyes closed. As soon as everyone was in the room the door slammed shut and the Thwomp's eyes shot open.

"Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha!" it said with a suitably gravely voice. "You're the first contestants I've seen in a while."

"Oh no, I know where this is going," Mario grumbled. Goomeredith looked up at him confusedly, but said nothing.

"If you came all the way down here then you must be looking for the robes of the original monk, and if _that's_ the case, then you must compete against me."

"Compete?" Goomeredith tugged on Mario's pant leg. "What does he mean by compete?"

Mario chuckled lightly. "Oh, you'll see."

"If you win, I'll give you the treasure you desire. However, if you lose, you will suffer a terrible fate. And by "terrible," I mean awful." It glared down at the group, but they stood their ground (though for Goomeredith it was out of confusion, not bravery). "Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! So? What do you want to do?"

Goomeredith looked up at the group. "We should be carefu-"

"I'll take you on!" Mario said, stepping forward.

The Thwomp spun around with a wicked smile on its face. "Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! You're in for it now!" Cheesy show music began to play from an unknown source.

Goomeredith jumped back and started looking around. "What?" A jigsaw-piece-shaped chunk of wall fell out. "What?"

More and more chunks fell out until the entire room was transformed into the set of a TV show, complete with a booth (which they stood in) and a bow-tie for the Thwomp.

Goomeredith stomped her feet. "Can someone tell me what the heck is going on here?"

"Hey _hey_ ladies and germs!" the Thwomp shouted, "Welcome, everybody, to the 128th Totally Sweet Moon Match! Perk up those ears! If you correctly answer five of the following questions about the temple and your quest, you win, but get three of 'em wrong and you'll suffer a cruel and unusual punishment!"

"This is too much weird for one day," said Goomeredith, "I was prepared for violence and hardships, not quizzes."

"Now then, onto the first question!" The Thwomp took a deep breath. "What's hidden at the very bottom of Moonview Temple?"

"The Millennium Necklace," the group said immediately.

"Normally this is the part where I question your answer to undermine your confidence, but I'm gonna go ahead and assume that's your final answer." The Thwomp tapped a button and a happy jingle rang across the set. "Drat! That's right! Well, that one was far too easy for you. I'm sure my second question will leave you feeling utterly bamboozled!" He paused for dramatic effect. "What is the name of the beast currently threatening Shinebright Bluffs?"

"Reginoir," the group replied, just as quickly as the first question.

The jingle sounded once again. "Way too easy!" grumbled the Thwomp. "Oh boy, number three looks to be just as easy. Ahem, what is the name of the Koopa waitress who served Mario and Goomeredith on the night they met Koopious?"

"Well I was hardly there and kind of preoccupied with the whole imminent invasion thing," Koopious said immediately, looking at Mario and Goomeredith.

Goomeredith looked up at Mario. "Do you remember?"

Mario stared awkwardly at the Thwomp. "Um, Koopie Koo?"

A loud buzzer blared across the set. "Wow, you guys are rude. Really, just awful people. Her name is Koopenny," the Thwomp said. "But more importantly..." He spun around and laughed madly. "That's one of three questions wrong! Two more until you suffer tremendously!"

"You'd really do that to your own monks?" Koopious snapped.

The Thwomp hopped in a failed attempt to shrug. "Hey, I've never seen you before in my life. I work for good ol' Koopriest."

"My deepest apologies," Kooparish said, "but I believe he passed away over a millennium ago."

"You don't say!" The Thwomp spun around several times. "Well, so it goes I guess. Onto question four!"

"What a great guy," said Goomeredith in a deadpan tone.

The Thwomp either didn't hear her or ignored her. "Who are the two men seeking Alessa's power?"

"Mario, you are one of those men, correct?" Kooparish asked.

Mario shrugged. "I guess you could phrase it like that."

"Then who's the second one?" Koopious said, scratching his head. "Maybe a villain is also after the armor?"

Mario snapped his fingers. "Right! I guess he's more seeking her wealth, but-"

"I need an answer!"

"Mario and Wario!"

The jingle sounded. "Grah! Correct!" said the Thwomp, venting steam from his nostrils. "It's as if asking somebody questions closely related to their life _won't_ confuse them!" He took a deep breath and spun around once more for good measure. "Question five: if you buy cake mix and a fire flower at the local shop, how many coins do you need to spend?"

"Well, we just got here," said Goomeredith, "do either of you two know?"

"Koopious, you've bought those ingredients for cooking many times, haven't you?" Kooparish said.

"Elder!" Koopious stepped between Kooparish and the others. "Can we not reveal everything about my life please?" he whispered.

"Huh, I didn't think you were the cooking type," Mario said.

"I swear, if that's another poor attempt to mock me," Koopious said, whirling around to face Mario.

"What, no! I'm just surprised," Mario said, holding his hands up defensively. "You just seem too actiony for that sort of thing."

"I'll have you know it's quite action-packed if you do it right," Koopious said, turning his nose up.

"An answer!" bellowed the Thwomp.

"Right," Koopious said awkwardly. "Thirty coins."

"Right answer," the Thwomp said with a sigh. "But, uh, you're a dork! Ha! Not feeling so confident now, are you?"

Koopious crossed his arms. "I'm fine."

"Well then, let's move on to the devious question six!" The Thwomp furrowed his brow, but then grinned. "Oh yes, you'll never get this one! What is the one building to survive an assault by Reginoir?"

Goomeredith looked over at the two monks. "Would it be Moonview Temple?"

Kooparish shook his head. "Fortunately, the beast didn't even try to attack us before he was defeated.

"How is this even relevant then?" Goomeredith asked frustratedly.

"I do not know. Perhaps you could guess?"

Goomeredith wracked her brain for a moment before saying, "Omb Tower?"

The buzzer sounded. "Yeah, not even close!" the Thwomp said gleefully. "The correct answer was Starscape Monument."

"I repeat: how is this even relevant?"

"Ah, this is a fantastic amount of tension, don't you think?" The Thwomp's pillar slid slightly closer to them. "The next question determines it all. If you get it right, you win. If you get it wrong… Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha!" The pillar slid back to the wall. "Final question: what number question is this?" He spun around, laughing madly. "Oh this is great. In all the drama you've forgotten where we are. You're just going to have to fail. Oh it's going to be ama-"

"Question seven."

The Thwomp promptly stopped spinning and laughing. "Oh. Oh I see." With a final annoyed grunt he shut his eyes and a chest materialized in front of the pedestal.

Koopious ran up to the chest and opened it. "Elder, are these really Koopriest's robes?"

Kooparish nodded. "Indeed, we monks have kept them preserved for generations."

Koopious gently pulled out a set of gray robes from the chest. "I don't know if you two understand how amazing this is. These robes belonged to the very first man to worship the Moon Spirits. Nobody's entirely sure how old they are." He slipped the robes into his shell and turned towards the door, which had opened. "And if we don't defeat Phanthomas, they may be destroyed."

Mario stepped forward. "Right. Goomeredith, are you ready?"

Goomeredith gulped loudly, but nonetheless stepped forward. "Yeah."

They walked into the final stair room and Kooparish stepped onto the painting. "Koopious, you are younger and much more energetic than I. You ought to fight that fiend."

"Elder," Koopious said quietly. "I failed so miserably the first time." He clenched his fists and grit his teeth.

"And now you know what to expect," Kooparish said as he clasped his hands together. "Honorable Moon Spirit Keystoon, I call upon thee!" The diagram lit up and Kooparish was surrounded in a massive blue aura. "I request a bridge. Send your guidance to me!" The light bridge extended to the other side. Our heroes slowly walked across, sending looks back at Kooparish and hoping it wouldn't be their last time seeing him.

As they walked down the stairs they heard a set of voices from the floor below. "That's his last line of defense," Koopious whispered to Mario and Goomeredith. "There's something like seven bandits down there in the corridor leading to the final chamber. Once we take them out it'll just be him against us."

Mario whipped out his hammer. "Well then, let's do this."

The final corridor was a tall, dimly lit hallway that was about fifty feet long. At the very end was a massive white door, presumably leading to the final chamber, Phanthomas, and the Millennium Necklace. Sitting in the hallway, laughing to each other, were seven bandits.

Mario and Goomeredith burst out into the hallway, each jumping into the air. Behind them, Koopious had popped into his shell and was preparing a Moon Dash. Right as the bandits noticed the heroes, Mario and Goomeredith landed on the front two.

"Nice hit!" Mario cheered, jumping away as the bandit tried to slug him.

"Thanks!" Goomeredith said, smiling brightly. She failed to notice the bandit in front of her winding up and was met with a vicious punch to the side of the head, sending her rolling backwards. Before Mario could help her up, the other bandits had reached them and were preparing to strike.

"Out of the way!" shouted Koopious. Mario and Goomeredith dove out of the way right as Koopious shot forward, passing through all seven bandits.

"Hey, he missed!" said one of the bandits, snickering as he failed to notice the light glowing in his chest. Mario stepped forward and bashed him over the head with his hammer. The bandit turned to retaliate, but was engulfed in the light and couldn't see where he was punching.

Koopious' shell returned to its normal color and the bandits were hit by the light explosions. The bandit Mario had been fighting was knocked unconscious already.

"What the heck was _that_?" shouted one of the bandits.

"I don't know!" replied another, "but we should probably clobber that Koopa!" The bandits turned towards Koopious, trapping him between them and the door.

"A little help please!" he called, tucking into his shell.

Mario and Goomeredith jumped into action once again. Mario landed on of the bandits closest to him and bounced on it a second time, knocking it unconscious. Goomeredith, on the other hand, landed in the middle of the crowd.

"Goomeredith!" Mario lunged at the crowd with his hammer, swiping two bandits out of the way. He was just in time to see another bandit punch her and send her flying at him, knocking both of them over.

One of the bandits that Mario hit ran up to them and prepared to punch, but was knocked down by Koopious' shell. With a groan, the bandit passed out. Koopious stood up and offered a hand to Mario, whom reluctantly accepted it.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

"Don't mention it."

Goomeredith was the first to jump in again, landing on a bandit and finishing it off. "Wow, they're already down to three," she said, turning towards the remaining bandits.

"Hey, this ain't fair!" one of them shouted.

"It's three-vs-three, that's entirely fair!" replied Koopious, swiftly slamming into that bandit and sending him reeling backwards towards Mario. The plumber quickly hit it with his hammer, knocking it out as well. "Now," Koopious said with a snicker, "it's unfair." He shot his shell at the bandit on the left and Goomeredith jumped onto it, knocking it out. They all turned to the last bandit who was sweating buckets.

"Bye!" he shouted, darting towards the staircase. Koopious stuck out his foot, tripping the bandit and Mario turned towards him with his hammer.

"See ya' later," he said, finishing off the seventh bandit.

Everyone took a deep breath and turned towards the door. "I'm ready," Koopious said, his tone brimming with determination.

"First," said Mario, reaching into his backpack, "let's heal up." He pulled out three mushrooms and the group chowed down. Mario could feel strength flowing from his stomach to his limbs. He jumped into the air and performed a flip, landing in a stylish pose.

Goomeredith giggled. "Looks like we're all ready to go then?"

Mario nodded, walking towards the door. He placed his hand on the handle and looked back at his partners. "Let'sa go!"

* * *

 **Author's Notes: I hope you've enjoyed the story so far. In the next part we finally get to the first boss battle! I hope you're ready, because I sure am!**


	12. A Shadow in the Temple - Part 8

**Author's Notes: Alright, here we go: chapter one's boss! The music for this boss is "You Will Know Our Names" from Xenoblade Chronicles.**

* * *

With a click, Phanthomas slid the last piece of the wall into place, revealing a huge mosaic of the moon shining down on Shinebright Bluffs. He backed away from the wall and a chest materialized in front of him. Under his mask he was grinning widely. "Excellent." He reached for the latch, but heard the chamber's massive door creak open. He whirled around and saw Mario, Goomeredith, and Koopious enter.

"Wow," he said, crossing his arms. "I'm not gonna lie, I didn't expect you to get this far. I guess this marks the first time I've been proven wrong, congratulations."

"Spare us the mock respect," Koopious said, raising a fist.

Phanthomas snorted. "Are you really trying to tell me what to do? You do recall the absolute beating I've given you today, correct?"

"Sure, but now it's three against one."

"Ha!" Phanthomas took a step towards them, causing Goomeredith to flinch. "These two didn't even make an effort to fight before! What makes you think they'll be any use to you?"

Mario tapped his hammer on his palm. "That more had to do with the whole 'army of bandits' thing."

"And what are you going to do when they come back?" Phanthomas asked, taking another step towards them.

"They won't."

Phanthomas froze. "Okay, so that's two times I've been proven wrong," he said, scratching his head.

"Exactly!" Goomeredith said, running to the front of the group. "You had no idea just how outmatched you are. Why don't you just go ahead and give up?"

Phanthomas began to laugh. First as a light chuckle, then as a guffaw that echoed around the room, until finally he was howling with laughter, bent over and clutching his gut. "You, you're saying _I'm_ underestimating _you_?" he said between laughs. "You think I'm just a normal bandit who can walk through walls, don't you?" He started walking towards them again. "You think that's all there is to me, huh? I can assure that I'm much better than that. I'm faster, stronger, and _much_ smarter than any of those other bandits." He now stood right in front of the group, looming over even Mario. "You'll rue the day you underestimated me!" They saw a crazed glimmer in the eyes of his mask as he stood over them and heard his furious breaths. "I don't see the point in trying to make this a clean job since you three have already made this whole thing so messy. Today, I am going to add triple homicide to my record!"

Mario and Goomeredith backed away from him, but Koopious stood defiant. "I'd like to see you try."

Phanthomas screamed furiously and moved to the center of the room. "I'm sick of your attitude, monk! Before you die, I want you to know how little control you've had over this whole situation."

"Fine then, let's fight."

Koopious tucked into his shell, Mario ran forward with his hammer, and Goomeredith whipped out her book. "That's Phanthomas, the leader of the Mugging Mountaineers! Jeez, he wasn't kidding: this guy's way faster, stronger, and smarter than a regular bandit. He'll also make ample use of his phasing ability, so be careful! Phanthomas is at his best when he feels in control. We've managed to get him angry for now, so let's make sure he doesn't regain his cool!"

"Thanks, Goomeredith!" Mario said, swinging his hammer at Phanthomas. The bandit simply sidestepped the blow.

"What a simple strategy," said Phanthomas, winding up to punch Mario.

"Fit to fight a simpleton!" Koopious snarled as he slammed into Phanthomas, knocking him to the side.

Phanthomas reached down and grabbed Koopious, whom was still in his shell. "Spoke a little too soon, didn't you, monk?" He spun around and chucked Koopious right at Mario, knocking them onto the ground. As they fell, Phanthomas grinned, sending chills down everyone's spines.

"Guys, what did I just say about his confidence?" Goomeredith said, rushing over to help her allies up.

"It's not like we could help it," Mario said groggily as he stood up.

"I better hit him again," Koopious said, popping into his shell and shooting towards Phanthomas.

"Oh no, whatever shall I do?" Phanthomas said mockingly. He quickly turned into a shadow, letting Koopious pass right through him.

Koopious popped out of his shell right behind Phanthomas. "What the?"

"Ha!" Phanthomas spun around and caught Koopious with a brutal punch in the face, sending him flying into the wall.

"This is my chance," Mario said quietly, leaping towards Phanthomas while his back was turned.

Not even looking back, Phanthomas turned into shadow right before Mario hit him, and the plumber landed in a heap right in front of him. "Simple, simple, simple!" Phanthomas said mockingly, kicking Mario with each word. He pulled back his foot for another kick, but was stopped as Goomeredith crashed right onto his head.

"Mario, run!" Goomeredith shouted as she landed. Mario jumped to his feet and backed away while Phanthomas turned to face Goomeredith.

"Oh, you're here to fight?" Phanthomas asked, winding up another punch. "You looked too fragile for this sort of thing."

"I, well, no! I'm fi-" Before she could finish, Phanthomas punched her in the face.

"Or perhaps you're just too stupid."

Koopious swooped in and hit Phanthomas in the back with his shell. "If only your attacks were as strong as your insults."

Phanthomas went in to kick Koopious. "I could say the same to you." He swung, missing the monk by an inch.

Goomeredith leaped into the air and descended forward towards Phanthomas. He looked up and turned into a shadow, letting her sail through him and right onto Koopious.

"Jeez, Goomeredith! Watch where you're falling!" Koopious groaned, grabbing her and jumping away from Phanthomas.

"You remembered my name!" Goomeredith was beaming at him.

Koopious set her down once they were a safe distance away from Phanthomas. "Can we discuss this another time?"

Goomeredith's face turned serious. "Right," she said with a nod.

Koopious tucked into his shell. "Maybe you can hit him right when he tries to counter-attack." Before Goomeredith could reply he spun off towards Phanthomas.

"You got it!" Goomeredith called, running after him.

Koopious charged towards Phanthomas, whom, as predicted, turned into a shadow. "Really, you guys are pathe- ow!" Goomeredith met her mark, catching him with a sickening blow from her tiara.

"You were saying?"

"I was saying _this_!" Phanthomas kicked Goomeredith in the face, sending her flying.

"Goomeredith!" Mario shouted, "be sassy _after_ you get out of the way!"

Goomeredith jumped to her feet. "Noted."

Mario looked over at Phanthomas and saw that he was breathing heavily. "Guys, I think we have him on the ropes."

"For now," Phanthomas said. He started sprinting right towards Mario, whom held up his hammer with a yelp. However, right as he reached Mario, Phanthomas turned himself into a shadow and ran right through him. When he emerged, he was carrying another shadow. He returned to normal, revealing a mushroom in his hands.

"What the?" gasped Mario, looking in shock at the stolen item.

"I'm a bandit, this is what my species is known for," Phanthomas said, and tossed the mushroom into his mouth. "Idiot."

"Well, there goes our last mushroom," Mario said with a groan.

"And he looks like he's back to full health," Goomeredith said with a sigh.

Phanthomas dashed towards Mario again. "And trust me, my health won't go any lower!" Mario swung his hammer at Phanthomas, but he just turned himself into a shadow and passed through him. As soon as he was past Mario, Phanthomas returned to normal, spun around, and punched Mario in the back. He then scurried away before Mario could retaliate.

Koopious quickly shot his shell at Phanthomas and Goomeredith jumped after him, hoping to repeat their earlier success. Phanthomas caught sight of them approaching and snickered. "Do you really think I'm stupid enough to fall for that twice?" He turned into a shadow, ducked, reformed right as Koopious passed him, grabbed the monk's shell, and swatted Goomeredith out of the air with it. "Now that I know all of your attacks dodging them is child's play."

"Oh really?" Mario shouted, jumping towards Phanthomas' head.

Phanthomas jumped and punched into the air, catching Mario in the stomach. "Yes, really."

Mario fell to the ground and clutched his stomach. "Mama mia," he moaned.

Phanthomas leaned down and grabbed Mario's hammer. "Yoink!" he said, snatching the weapon up. He turned towards Goomeredith and Koopious, whom were running towards him again. With a cruel laugh he swung the hammer, knocking Goomeredith out of the air and hitting Koopious on the way down. He then ran up to where Mario was standing and turned himself into a shadow. Next, he stepped inside Mario and tossed the hammer, which turned solid once it rose above the plumber.

Mario looked around, confused by the passing shadow. When he finally looked up, it was too late, and the hammer landed right on his head, knocking him to the ground. "Guys," he called, obviously in major pain, "help me."

Phanthomas backed away, hammer in hand, as Goomeredith and Koopious ran up to him and helped him to his feet. "Are you alright Mario?" Goomeredith asked, tears welling in her eyes.

Mario clapped his hands on his cheeks and shook his head until he could look straight again. "Low on health, but still alive," he finally said.

"Good for you, but we have a problem," Koopious said.

"What?"

"Where the heck did Phanthomas go?" he shouted, pointing to the empty chamber.

"Where indeed?" Phanthomas' voice echoed spookily from the walls and the trio looked around frightfully. Suddenly, Mario's hammer flew out of the wall, hitting Koopious right in the head. Mario grabbed the hammer and lunged at the wall, but only succeeded in denting the tiles.

"Don't be so quick to anger," Phanthomas said. The group whirled around to see him standing on the other side of the chamber. Mario and Goomeredith rushed to attack him while Koopious nursed his head. Right as Mario was about to hit him, Phanthomas jumped back into the wall.

"Great," said Koopious, "we're getting nowhere with thi-"

"Boo!" Phanthomas popped out of the wall, grabbed Koopious, and pulled him into the wall.

Goomeredith ran to the center of the room. "We should be safer from him here!" she said nervously.

"Good thinking," Mario said, running to join her. They looked around nervously, not hearing anything for nearly a few seconds until Phanthomas popped out of the wall behind them, holding Koopious in his shell form.

"Take this!" the bandit shouted, breathing heavily. He chucked Koopious at them and ducked back into the wall. Mario and Goomeredith barely managed to jump out of the way of the monk as he whizzed by. Phanthomas jumped out of the wall on the other side and kicked Koopious in Goomeredith's direction. She rolled away, missing Koopious by an inch.

"This is too close for comfort," she said, shaking slightly.

"Somebody wanna help me?" Koopious shouted as Phanthomas kicked him once again, sending him towards Mario.

Mario stepped out of Koopious' path, but held out a reluctant glove to catch Koopious as he went by. He barely managed to grab him by his head-hole and set him down gently. Koopious popped out of his shell and slowly got to his feet. "Thanks for that," he said quietly. "And, uh, sorry for being a projectile."

"What are you apologizing for?" Phanthomas asked, stepping out near Goomeredith. The princess scurried away from him as fast as she could. "It was my brilliant strategy. You couldn't have avoided it," he said, grinning.

"Well let's keep him away from me then," Koopious said, holding up his fists defensively.

"I don't think you'll have to worry about that," Goomeredith said, though she didn't sound very confident. "He looks really tired after pulling you into the wall. He seemed to get just as tired after pulling you through the door back in the upper temple. I'm willing to bet that turning someone else into a shadow uses a ton of energy."

Phanthomas clenched his fists. "Ah, so you've figured out one of my weaknesses. Not bad, kid." He started running towards Mario. "But it won't be a problem for long!"

"He's going to steal our syrups!" Goomeredith shouted.

Mario reached into his backpack as he ran from Phanthomas. "I won't let you do this, Phanthomas!" He pulled out their three syrups and started chugging them as fast as he could.

Koopious looked at the scene, slack-jawed. "How does someone just drink three syrups that quickly?"

"Not very easily," Mario called, sounding very nauseated. As he finished the third syrup, Phanthomas stopped running and just glared at Mario, his fists slowly starting to shake.

"You disgusting fool!" he said furiously. "That won't stop me from crushing you all. All you've done is fatten yourself even more!"

Mario turned around and started running towards him. "Don't," he said, swinging his hammer, "insult the gut." Phanthomas turned himself into a shadow, stepped through Mario, and punched him.

"Drat," Mario groaned, running away from the boss. "If we could just hit him when he passes through us this would be over in a minute!"

Koopious snapped his fingers. "I'm an idiot!" He stomped his feet angrily, yet was grinning. "I'm such an idiot, I can't believe I didn't think of this earlier!" He tucked into his shell and started spinning around.

Goomeredith gasped as Koopious' shell was enveloped in light. "The Moon Dash!" she said gleefully.

Phanthomas snorted. "I don't know what you're doing monk. No matter how powerful that move of yours is, you'll never be able to hit me!" Koopious didn't respond and kept spinning until his shell had turned blue. He launched towards Phanthomas, who yawned and turned into a shadow. "See, absolutely usele- huh?" He looked down and saw the orb of light growing in his chest. He whirled around to face Koopious, whose shell was slowly turning green. "What did you do to me?" he barked.

Koopious snickered. "Hold on a second." His shell turned completely green and the orb exploded, knocking Phanthomas off his feet.

"I," Phanthomas said, shakily getting up. "I don't understand! I turned into a shadow, you missed!"

"Or," Koopious said, ducking into his shell again, "your strongest move is absolutely worthless against the Moonview Monks."

"How dare you?" shouted Phanthomas, running towards Koopious. "You will _not_ do that again!" Mario ran up behind him and swiped him out of the way with his hammer. "Out of my way!" Phanthomas tried to move around Mario, but the plumber just hit him again.

"That's it!" Goomeredith said, hopping up and down. "Koopious' Moon Dash has taken the fight out of Phanthomas' control!"

"Shut up!" Phanthomas shoved Mario out of the way and continued to run towards Koopious.

"He's losing his cool!" Goomeredith said, unfazed. "I think the fight's finally in our favor!"

Koopious' shell finally turned blue and he shot forward. Phanthomas tried to step out of the way, but Koopious curved his course to pass through the bandit once again. As Koopious' shell cooled down, Mario stepped between him and Phanthomas, and Goomeredith jumped in to headbonk him.

In his rage, Phanthomas hardly noticed Goomeredith. He saw her out of the corner of his eye and began to turn into a shadow, but was hit before he could completely fade. "Out of my way!" He swatted at her, but Mario jumped on him before he could hit her.

"I can do this all day, Phanthomas," Koopious said with a cocky grin, tucking back into his shell.

Goomeredith saw how tired he looked when he spoke, but didn't say anything. _'If only Mario hadn't drank all those syrups,'_ she thought.

"Goomeredith, we need to keep him back!" Mario said, hitting Phanthomas with his hammer.

"Just try and stop me!" growled Phanthomas, turning into a shadow. He ran right past Mario and prepared to grab Koopious.

Mario ran as fast as he could, passing Phanthomas. "Sorry about this!" he said, kicking Koopious as hard as he could, sending the monk across the room while still spinning. By the time Phanthomas made his way over to Koopious, the attack was ready and for the third time, Koopious shot through Phanthomas.

"We'll talk about that little stunt later," Koopious said groggily. A moment later, his shell returned to normal and the orb of light exploded on Phanthomas.

"I'm getting really sick of this," Phanthomas said, stepping towards the trio. He was panting heavily and his shoulders were sagging.

"You're getting tired, Phanthomas," Koopious said. His voice was calm and cold. "I'm just as sick of this as you, so I'll give one chance: leave and turn yourself into the police, or we'll turn you in ourselves."

"Ha! There you are, underestimating me again!" Phanthomas coughed loudly, but tried to look fine. "I'm going to destroy you, monk!"

Koopious looked back to his allies. "Well then, Mario, Goomeredith, shall we?" They nodded back at him and everyone ran towards Phanthomas.

"Do you really think you'll hit me?" Phanthomas said, turning into a shadow. Well, trying to. Once he was translucent, his body began to flicker, switching from a shadow to normal back and forth. "No, no, no! This move hasn't worn out in over a decade!"

"Wow, we've really beaten him down!" Goomeredith said, headbonking him. Mario quickly followed up with a hammer swing and Koopious hit him with his shell. Phanthomas started to run from the trio, stumbling and staggering as he went until he finally collapsed onto the ground.

"Is he done for?" Goomeredith asked.

Koopious slowly walked up to Phanthomas and kicked him in the gut. The bandit let out pitiful cough, but didn't retaliate. "Yeah," Koopious said, slowly grinning. "We beat him."

There was a brief silence before Mario hopped into the air, shouting "Wahoo!"

Goomeredith was doing a happy little jig. "We did it, guys! We were incredible!"

Koopious looked over at Mario and Goomeredith. "Yeah, you guys are really something."

"Are you maybe saying you like us?" Goomeredith asked, looking up at him hopefully.

Koopious pat her on the head. "Assuming you guys aren't about to attack me and take the Millennium Necklace for yourself, yeah. You two are alright."

"Speaking of, I guess Phanthomas solved the puzzle for us," Mario said, pointing towards the chest sitting at the back of the room.

"Right," Koopious said, walking up to the chest. He opened the lid, grabbed whatever was inside, and tucked it into his robes. Mario frowned, disappointed that he didn't even get to see the necklace, but decide not to say anything. "So," said Koopious, walking up to Phanthomas. "I guess we should get these guys out of here and call the police."

Mario leaned over to grab the bandit by the shoulders. "This is so humiliating," he heard Phanthomas whisper.

* * *

After the last of the bandits had been hauled away by the local police, Mario, Goomeredith, and the five monks were sitting in the lobby of Moonview Temple. Kooprayer was sitting in the corner with a satisfied grin, Koopreach had his arms crossed, Koopagan was jumping for joy, and Kooparish was beaming with pride at Koopious.

"I simply cannot thank the three of you enough," Kooparish said, clasping his hands together. "You have done an invaluable good for our temple."

"Of course, it's what we do," Mario said between bites of a mushroom. "Thanks for the grub by the way."

"I need no thanks, elder," Koopious said. He paused awkwardly before adding, "but, keeping our actions in mind, I must make a request."

Kooparish cocked his head. "Go on?"

Koopious reached into his robe and pulled out a gold-chained necklace holding a gold medal with a ruby embedded in the center: the Millennium Necklace. "I want Mario and Goomeredith to take this."

Mario and Goomeredith stared at him with dropped jaws. "Wh-what?" they gasped in unison.

Koopreach's jaw was also dropped. "Koopious, have you gone crazy?" he shouted after a moment.

"I haven't," Koopious said forcefully. Koopreach was taken aback and his stoic, angry face broke to surprise for a moment. "Elder, you remember why we keep this necklace, right?"

"Of course," replied Kooparish, "Alessa was chosen by the Moon Spirits to fight Reginoir."

"Well, hear me out." Koopious took a deep, nervous breath. "The skies above the kingdom are growing dark once again, a sign that Reginoir has returned. Furthermore, our temple found itself in direct danger. And here, out of nowhere, are two people come and save us in our greatest time of need."

"Koopious," Koopreach said, shaking with fury, "Are you suggesting that these heretical outsiders were chosen by the Moon Spirits?"

Koopious crossed his arms. "Have you forgotten that Alessa was a nonbeliever?"

Kooparish placed a hand on Koopious' shoulder. "Koopious," he said slowly, "I agree." He turned towards Mario and Goomeredith and (much to Koopreach's dismay) bowed. "Heroes. I thank you for accepting the quest bestowed upon you by the Moon Spirits, whether you know it or not. I humbly present you with our piece of the Millennium Armor."

Koopious slowly held out the necklace and placed it around Mario's neck.

 **Mario found a piece of the Millennium Armor! He can now use the special move, Heal Beam!**

 **~End of Chapter~**

 _After facing the Mugging Mountaineers and a brutal struggle with the master bandit, Phanthomas, Mario finally obtained the first piece of the Millennium Armor. Moonview Temple can now rest easy, knowing that the bandits targeting its treasures are safely imprisoned. But for Mario, the journey has just begun. Will he be able to collect the rest of the Millennium Armor before Reginoir awakens? What challenges will he face in the future?_

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Wahoo, Chapter 1 is complete (ignoring the intermission)! And man, I've had a blast writing it, but I'm even more excited to start working on Chapter 2. Let me know what you thought of the chapter, the boss, etc in a review. Thanks for reading!**


	13. A Shadow in the Temple - Interlude

Hours after Mario had retrieved the Millennium Necklace and returned to Brightendale, a triumphant shout rang out across Nesten Village. "Wahaha! I made it!" Wario lumbered into the village from a small pathway between the crags.

"That armor better be worth a lot," grumbled Goombrittany, walking in behind him. Her makeup was smeared across her face and her hair was tangled in ways that defied conventional geometry.

"Don't sweat it, Goombianca, we're-"

"Goombrittany."

"Potato, pototo," Wario said with a shrug. "We're gonna be rich, just you wait!"

"Ugh, well the first thing I'm gonna buy is a deluxe shower. I think a Goony pooped on my head while we were climbing," Goombrittany said, shaking her head.

"I'd buy a feast!" Wario said, patting his gut. It gurgled loudly back at him. "I don't think those sticks filled me up enough."

"Maybe we should rent a hotel room, shower off, and find a place to eat," Goombrittany suggested, scanning the village. "There's no way Goomeredith could have made it up here before us."

Wario chuckled loudly, catching the attention of several villagers. "I'm sure Mario gave up and went home as soon as he saw the sun set last night!"

"And maybe we should have too," Goombrittany muttered to herself.

"Hey, you!" Wario barked at a nearby Koopa. The Koopa tried to act like he hadn't heard Wario, but Wario ran up to him before he could get away.

"Um, hi. Are you, uh, are you alright?" the villager asked, staring at Wario's untamed 'stache and torn clothes.

"Where can I get some good grub at?" Wario asked impatiently.

"I, uh-"

"Spit it out already!" Goombrittany snapped.

The villager jumped back in surprise. "Princess, is that you? What happened?"

"I climbed a mountain and now I want some pizza. Is that so hard to understand?" She tapped her foot impatiently.

"Yes, yes, of course, your majesty." The villager paused to think for a moment. "I recommend the Stonefire Pizzeria, it's just down the street, you can't miss it."

"Let'sa go!" Wario shouted, bounding down the road. Goombrittany was quickly at his heels.

"You're welcome!" the villager called with a sigh.

As they walked, Goombrittany shivered loudly. "Stars, it's cold up here!" She looked up at Wario, who hardly seemed to notice the icy breeze. "How are you not dying in those short sleeves?"

Wario shrugged. "Fat, muscle, my manly spirit, pick one."

Goombrittany laughed. Her laugh was nasally and obnoxiously loud. "You really know your assets, don't you?"

Wario flexed his arms. "My assets make themselves known!"

Once they arrived, Wario threw open the doors and stomped in. The waitress on duty nearly fell over in surprise. "Oh hey!" she said, waving excitedly at them. "It's me, Koopenny! Remember?"

Wario and Goombrittany looked at each other confusedly. "Wario, do we know this klutz?" she asked loudly.

Wario looked back at Koopenny. "Never met ya'."

Koopenny frowned. "Sorry, my bad. I mistook you for someone else" she said, reaching over to lean on the table. She overestimated how tall it was and tipped over, falling onto it and flipping the whole thing over. "Aw gee," she said, getting to her feet. "This always happens." She started piling up the menus and silverware that had fallen over.

"Hold on," Goombrittany said, her tone suddenly becoming urgent. "Who did you think we were?"

"A couple of kind folks who came here last night," Koopenny said as she righted the table. "I don't remember their names, but they looked a whole lot like you two. The human wore red, I think."

"Mario!" Wario roared, pounding his fist on the table, causing it to collapse. "Where is he?"

"I, uh, I think he went to Moonview Temple," Koopenny replied, casting a panicked look at the table. "I can lead you guys there!" she added once she saw her boss angrily stomping towards her.

They bolted from the restaurant, Koopenny leading them through various twists and turns until they stood across from Moonview Temple. A new bridge stretched across the chasm and Paratroopas fluttered around it, nervously checking to make sure it wasn't about to collapse.

"Alright then, let's grab that necklace before that loser can get it!" Wario said, stepping towards the bridge.

"Hold on there!" Pie T, the guard stepped in Wario's way, causally carrying a spear. "I'm afraid I can't let you across."

"Listen, we're on important business, so clear outta here," Goombrittany said, trying to walk past him.

Pie T. held out his arms, effectively blocking the group. "Look guys, I get it. However, those warrior monks are serious business, and I like my face un-punched, thank you very much!"

Wario promptly punched the guard in the face. "How's that for un-punched?" he said with a loud chuckle.

"Hey, hey, no need for violence!" Koopenny said, standing between Wario and Pie T.

Wario grabbed her by the shoulders and moved her to the side. "Sometimes punching somebody is the best way to get your point across."

"Alright," Pie T. groaned, holding an ice pack to his face. "You punch way harder than those old men. For my own safety I'll let you across."

"Nice work," Goombrittany said, nuzzling Wario's bicep. "Sure am glad I've got a strong man like you on my team."

Wario grinned widely, revealing a set of blindingly white teeth. "Heh heh! It pays to have the two best diplomats in the world!" He kissed his biceps before waddling across the bridge, quickly followed by Goombrittany and Koopenny. The Paratroopas looked on in terror as the bridge creaked dangerously under Wario's weight.

Pie T. looked over his shoulder at the plumber and groaned in pain. "Have a nice trip, jerkwad!"

* * *

Kooparish, Koopagan, Koopreach, and Kooprayer stood in the lobby of Moonview Temple, staring into the entrance to the lower temple. "Now then," Kooparish said, looking over at the other three monks. "Are we positive that all the treasures have been returned to their original positions?"

"Quite sure," Kooprayer said, his voice hardly rising above his shivers. He and his robes were completely soaked after more than a few mishaps with the block snake puzzle and the mountain air wasn't being to kind to him.

"Good work, gentlemen." Kooparish grabbed a hold of the door's handle. "Let's seal the lower temple before any more thieves can-"

"Who here has the necklace?" Wario stomped in through the front door and immediately ran up to the monks.

"Human, fat, overalls, ridiculous mustache… oh dear moons, they're multiplying!" Koopreach shouted furiously.

"What brings you here, traveler?" Kooparish asked, ignoring Koopreach.

"We're on a bit of a quest," Goombrittany explained, trying to look as sweet as possible, though evidently Goomeredith was the only princess to get the cute eye genes. "You see, Reginoir has been revived and if my friend here doesn't collect the-"

"My apologies," Kooparish said, holding up a hand to stop her. "We already gave it to someone else. He looked a lot like you, in fact."

Wario's face quickly grew red and steam practically shot out of his ears. "Mario!" he shouted, stomping on the ground so hard that it cracked the clay floor.

"Alright, I've had about enough of you," Koopreach said. He crouched down and a silvery aura appeared around his fist. "Crescent Punch!" He jumped up and uppercut Wario in the chin, sending him flying in a dramatic arc all the way back to the door.

"See, what did I tell you, Koopenny?" Wario said, slowly sitting up. "Nothing proves your point quite like a good punch. Let's get outta here."

"I swear," said Koopreach after Wario and co. had left. "If another outsider comes here and demands the Millennium Necklace I'm gonna burn their house down."

Kooparish swatted him on the beak. "That's quite enough ungrateful grumbling out of you."

Outside, Wario had just made his way off the other side of the bridge and past the glaring Pie T when Koopenny ran in front of him. "Hey, um, I never got your names," she said, looking down at her feet.

Wario and Goombrittany looked at each other confusedly. "I'ma Wario," Wario said after a moment, "and that's Goombella."

"Goombrittany."

"What she said."

"Well," Koopenny said bashfully. "Wario, Goombrittany, you guys are obvious on a big, heroic journey. A big one full of battles and princesses and magic and..." she started to drift off, staring into space with stars in her eyes until Wario grunted loudly. "It's been my dream since I was a kid to go on a journey like that, so could you please take me with you?"

Wario frowned. "Huh, no-"

"Wario, can we talk for a moment?" Goombrittany asked, pulling him off to the side. "Look," she said, "if we wanna get ahead of Rose-cloak and my crybaby sister we need to up our numbers."

Wario cast a skeptical look over at Koopenny, who was already lost in thought again. "I dunno, Goombrittany-"

"Goombrittany."

"That's what I said."

"Oh, well good job!"

"What I was saying," Wario said forcefully, "was that she's an airhead."

"Yes," Goombrittany said quietly, " _but!_ Did you see how she managed to flip that big table without trying? Imagine if we could harness all that reckless energy, we'd be unstoppable!"

Wario grinned widely. "Goombrittany, you're smarter than you look!"

"Why thank you- hey, wait a minute!"

"Koopenny!" called Wario, waving her over. "You're in, welcome to Team Wario!"

Moments later, Wario was on the ground, completely barreled over by Koopenny's running hug. "Oh thank you thank you thank you!" Koopenny shouted, giving him a bear hug that managed to crush his ribs even through the layers upon layers of fat and muscle.

"Yeah, yeah, we're all one big happy family," Wario grumbled, pushing her off of him and getting to his feet. "Now I hope you're ready for a hike, we've got a long trip to get down the mountain."

"A hike?" Koopenny asked, cocking her head to the side. "Why can't we just take the basket down? It'll only take a few minutes!"

Wario and Goombrittany slowly turned towards each other, jaws dropped and faces red. "You mean we hiked up this whole mountain for nothing!" Goombrittany screamed at him.

"Why didn't you tell me there was another way up? It's _your_ kingdom!" Wario snapped back.

Furiously butting their heads together, they took a deep breath and shouted "You idiot!"

* * *

Earlier that day, a woman sat atop Moonview Temple. She was the same woman who confronted Mario in the alleyway the night before, same jacket, hammer and all. A few minutes ago she saw Phanthomas and his crew get dragged out and hauled away by the police and now she sat there watching the village with a confident smile. From what she'd heard about the Mugging Mountaineers she knew they weren't any small-time bullies, not big bad level either, but decently strong.

"Impressive, Mario, very impressive," she whispered to herself.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps. Carefully peering over the edge of the temple, she saw Mario, Goomeredith, and a newcomer, a Koopa in silver robes, walk out of the temple. "Okay," said Koopious as they stepped onto the bridge. "You're gonna have to fill me in on your adventure so far. I mean, I'll help a hero of the Moon Spirits with anything, but I'd at least like to know what we're up against."

Mario started explaining their quest to him, but at that point they were already out of the woman's earshot. She stood up and waved goodbye to Mario, even though she knew he wouldn't see her. In fact, she didn't _want_ him to see her. And because of that, the bridge wasn't really an option at the moment. Not a problem.

She took a running start and jumped from the temple, gliding over the land until she landed right in front of the canyon. She made a quick glance round to make sure nobody was watching and took another jump, putting as much force as she could into it. The ravine, being a little less than a hundred feet across, was too wide for even her to cross perfectly, but it was narrow enough for her to catch herself on the far wall twenty or so feet down.

She looked around the rock wall. She had thousands of feet to climb down with only a few proper ledges for her to land on. She grinned. It would be a decent workout, but she was confident that she'd make it to Brightendale long before Mario.

* * *

Later that day, a Goomba wearing a black tuxedo and matching sunglasses stepped nervously out onto a metal catwalk. He didn't know where to look. The massive cavern was so far below his feet that looking down would surely make him puke, but looking ahead at his boss was probably more terrifying. And, well, he was thankful the lighting was too dim to see the center of the cavern. He saw the beast once and he was _still_ having nightmares about it.

At the end of the catwalk was a tall figure lounging in a black beanbag chair, staring off into the distance. "Soldier," he said casually, not turning around. "Did you check out the temple?"

The Goomba immediately stood up straight. "Yes, lord Fancifus!" he took a shaky step forward and tried to speak, but the words just wouldn't come out.

"Hey!" Fancifus snapped impatiently at the Goomba, getting his attention. "I take it you messed up."

"Not quite!" the Goomba said quickly. "Listen, lord Fancifus, it wasn't my fault. It turns out somebody else already got to the armor piece. And… one of the monks threatened to burn my house down, sir."

Fancifus laughed loudly for a moment. "You were scared of the old men, weren't you?" He stood, causing the Goomba to jump back in fright. "How very, _uncool_ of you."

"Lord?"

"Head down to the dance room after this, private!" Fancifus said, "I'll get Disca to give you some lessons."

"With all due respect, what does this have to do with fear?"

Fancifus laughed again, striking a flamboyant pose. "It's all about the esteem. When you've got style and you know it then you have no room for self-doubt, you know? Every action you take will be confident, elegant, and deadly, understand?"

The Goomba raised an eyebrow. "I think so?"

"Excellent." Fancifus flopped back down into his beanbag. "Now then, about this guy who took the armor piece, what did they say about him?"

"Not much," the Goomba recalled. "The head honcho seemed fond of him, protective even."

Fancifus grinned. "So, Rey Ray wasn't bluffing."

"Huh?"

"He made some grand ol' speech to his people about bringing in a hero to save them all. The whole thing was stiff, way too formal, and overall lame, and I for one thought it was just talk." Fancifus shrugged. "I guess the king realized how badly he messed up once we steamrolled the place."

"Should we be worried about this hero?"

Fancifus shook his head and snickered lightly. "I don't care who this guy is, there's no way he's gonna beat Reginoir." He paused for a second. "That being said, if this hero shows up in the Todriforyu, then maybe I'll fly in and check him out."After a moment he muttered "you're dismissed."

"Yes sir!" the Goomba said quickly. He turned around and scurried out as fast as he could.

Fancifus reached into his pocket, pulled out a sleek black cell phone, and quickly dialed a number. "Neon!" he said boisterously, "How's it going my man?" He drummed his fingers on the railing while the man called Neon responded. "No, no, the big guy's doing fine! I'm looking at him right now, he's sleeping like a baby." Neon started talking again, but Fancifus cut him off. "Listen, looks like we've got a bit of a hero situation going on in the valley… No, it isn't her. Rey Ray _wishes_ he could be that lucky!"

Fancifus stood up and started making exaggerated punches and kicks at the air. "So yeah, I need you to prepare one of the suits for me- no, Neon, that's overkill. Just give something basic, maybe the two of clubs model." After a moment's pause he added "And Neon, prepare my limo."

* * *

Far away, in the bowels of a stone fortress balanced precariously atop a hill in the middle of a sea of lava, a great beast was roaring loudly.

"Feel the burn!" Bowser shouted, lifting the Thwomp above his head for the hundredth time. "No pain, no gain!" He lifted the Thwomp again. "No gain, no fame, no fortune, and no world domination!" He lifted the Thwomp once more and flashed a sharp-toothed grin. "Gwahaha! We're not even gonna need bullet bills now that I've got _these_ guns!"

"Your sweatiness!" A purple-garbed hag of a Koopa burst into the room, surprising Bowser. The Koopa King lost his balance and fell forward, tossing the Thwomp straight up. It tumbled wildly in the air before landing right on Bowser's shell.

"Ugh, Kammy, what did I tell you about interrupting me while I work out?" He tried to look angry, but his pained groans broke the illusion.

"My apologies, your clumsiness, but I have important news!" Kammy Koopa said, grinning sheepishly.

"Let me guess," said Bowser, shoving the Thwomp off of his back and sitting up. "Mario's off on some crazy adventure for some amazing treasure and Peach has been kidnapped by some group of weirdos."

"I, uh," Kammy said, looking at him worriedly, "Lord Bowser you have a very active imagination." She pulled a letter out of her robe. "I simply wanted you to know that the tennis league wants to meet with you. They said they wanted to make a _huge_ deal!"

Bowser tore open the letter. As he read, a maniacal grin spread across his face. "Bwahaha! If this works out like they think it will then I'll just _buy_ Peach's affection!" He jumped to his feet. "Mario, I don't care what you're up to! Kammy, fetch my tennis racket and the clown car! It's time for the world to bow to Bowser: tennis superstar!"

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Even though Bowser's not a major character in this story I can't avoid the obligatory Bowser segment! Note, this will probably be the last obligatory Bowser segment.**


	14. A Shadow in the Temple - Post

As the Millennium Necklace was lowered onto Mario's head, he felt a new, indescribable power flow through his body. It was as if the necklace was an extension of himself. It drew on his energy and he drew on it.

While Mario was basking in this new-found power, everyone else appeared startled. "Alright," Koopreach said, somehow more angry than he was before. "Now where'd the necklace go?"

Mario glared back at the monk. "What do you mean? It's right here?" he said, pointing to his chest.

"Mario," Goomeredith said gently, "take a look for yourself."

Mario raised an eyebrow and looked down to his chest. Much to his surprise, they were right. He couldn't see the Millennium Necklace yet... he definitely felt it. "I wouldn't be so sure." He slowly reached up to his chest and grabbed the air where he felt the necklace was. As soon as his hand closed around the area, the Millennium Necklace popped into view with a golden flash.

"Odd," said Kooparish, reaching out to hold the necklace. "It appears that the armor has a sort of cloaking device whenever you aren't using it."

"That'll probably work in our favor," said Goomeredith. "If everyone could see you wearing the armor then you'd practically be walking around with targets all over you!"

Mario shot her a frightened look. "What do you mean?"

"Even to someone who doesn't know about the Millennium Armor, that stuff looks valuable, right? Do you really think the Mugging Mountaineers are the only bandits who want to get their hands on a huge hunk of gold like that?" Goomeredith checked behind her suspiciously, as if bandits could already hear her. "Not to mention the Suited Soldiers."

"The who?"

"The guys responsible for reviving Reginoir," Goomeredith said with a nervous glance out the window at the sky. "I doubt they'd be happy to find out that we're hunting down the Millennium Armor."

"Well then," Mario said, taking his hand off the necklace and letting it vanish, "I guess this cloaking stuff is a nice gift from the stars." He noticed the monks glaring at him and grinned sheepishly. "Er, a nice gift from the Moon Spirits."

Koopreach snorted. "Nice save."

"I'm curious," Kooparish said after a moment. "The legends always said that the armor gave hero Alessa special abilities. Do you possess any new skills now that you wear her armor?"

"I don't kno-" Mario began to say, but he stopped himself. He _did_ know. It was like an intuition gained from doing something your whole life. He slowly reached towards his chest and wrapped his hand around the necklace's pendant. Without even thinking about it he proclaimed "Heal Beam!" and squeezed the pendant as hard as he could. Immediately he was surrounded by a column of green light. The beam filled him with a marvelous energy, as if he had taken a hardy nap, and rejuvenated his body.

Everyone stared in awe as the beam slowly faded. "Wow," Koopious finally said. "That's… convenient. Can you do that whenever you want?"

Goomeredith stepped forward. "I can answer this!" she said in an extra smart tone. "Ahem, according to the legends, the Millennium Armor slowly regains its energy based on the user's will to succeed. The more determined they are, the faster the armor will recharge."

Koopious slapped Mario on the back. "For all of our sakes, you better want to kill Reginoir more than anything you've ever done."

"Speaking of, we should probably get going," Mario said hurriedly. "Who knows how long we have left."

Kooparish nodded slowly. "Indeed. However, I would like to present you with two more parting gifts." He reached into his robe and pulled out the strange orange shine sprite Mario had found in the inner temple. "We have no need for an artifact of the sun here at our temple, so please, take this. I'm sure it will benefit you much more than us."

Mario held it, smiling gratefully until his face fell into a confused frown. "Thanks but, uh, what is it?"

Kooparish raised an enormous eyebrow. "I would have thought an adventurer like you would be familiar with such an object. That is a Solar Sprite. If you give it to one of their partners it will make them stronger."

Goomeredith looked up at Mario with a giddy grin. "Aw yeah! Now _that's_ a nice gift!" She turned towards the monks with a much more serious face. "The royal family thanks you very much for your contribution." She maintained her stoic composure for about a second before she started bouncing on her toes and giggling with glee.

"And the second gift," Kooparish said. He turned towards Koopious, grabbed him by the shoulders and slowly pushed him over to Mario.

Koopious looked between Mario and Kooparish as his jaw dropped. "Elder, you want me to leave the temple?"

"As a servant of the Moon Spirits, it is your duty to help this man," Kooparish said sternly. "As you are the only monk suitable for a long journey, I insist that you go with him. Well, if he'll have you."

Koopious looked back at Mario. "What'll it be?"

Mario started ahead, stroking his mustache thoughtfully. After a moment he approached Koopious and put an arm around his shoulders. "Welcome to the team!"

"Are we friends now?" Goomeredith asked, looking at Koopious with her puppy-dog eyes.

Koopious laughed. "We've hardly gotten the chance to get to know each other." Goomeredith looked crestfallen. "But!" Goomeredith perked back up. "I like you guys well enough so far."

Koopreach appeared completely unmoved. "Yeah yeah, so sweet," he said, his voice rising to a shout, "Now get moving! You've got a kingdom to save!"

* * *

After one last glance back at Moonview Temple, the trio made their way towards the exit of Nesten Village. "Okay," said Koopious as they stepped onto the bridge. "You're gonna have to fill me in on your adventure so far. I mean, I'll help a hero of the Moon Spirits with anything, but I'd at least like to know what we're up against."

Mario paused for a moment to get the story together. "Okay so, as you can see by the sky," he said, pointing up for added effect, "that Reginoir guy has been revived." While the vast majority of the sky was still its normal color, a couple of new dark patches had definitely appeared since Mario had arrived in Shinebright Bluffs. "Some guys, the Suited somethings-"

"Let me handle this!" Goomeredith said in her know-it-all voice. She fell back so she was standing right next to Koopious. "A rogue army called the Suited Soldiers invaded the kingdom recently and revived Reginoir. I assume you know who he is. Basically, our last hope is to hunt down the Millennium Armor so Mario can become powerful enough to kill him before he wakes up."

"So what you're telling me is that we're all gonna die if we don't collect all the armor pieces in time?" Koopious asked.

"Pretty much."

Koopious pounded his fist into his palm. "Alright then! Now this is the kind of holy mission I've been waiting for!"

Goomeredith looked at him with wide eyes. "You're not scared?"

Koopious shook his head. "Not at all. This whole journey, it just feels… right. Like it's destiny."

"Well, destiny or not, we appreciate the help," Mario said, smiling brightly.

* * *

"So this is Brightendale?" Koopious said in quiet awe as they walked down the main avenue of the capital.

"Pretty, isn't it?" Goomeredith said proudly.

Koopious nodded slowly as he looked around at the colorful buildings. "It's unlike anything I've every seen before. Well, I guess I haven't really seen much beyond Nesten Village."

Mario sighed loudly. "So you've never been off of Mount Stonefront, and _you've_ never been outside of Brightendale-"

"I did once!"

"While you were a baby!" Mario said, holding his hand up for silence. "Does anyone in this kingdom travel?"

"The swanky folks from beyond the mountains do," Goomeredith replied. Mario detected a slight amount of bitterness in her tone. "Everyone here in the valley and on the mountains is pretty simple."

"And what about past there?"

"Oh you know, wealthy city slickers with all their gadgets and crazy fashion," Goomeredith replied, doing a mocking runway strut.

Mario chuckled lightly. "Goomeredith, you are literally a princess in an exotic dress. I don't think you can be complaining about rich people and their outfits." He laughed again and Koopious soon followed suit.

"Look at that," Goomeredith huffed. "As soon as you all become friends you start ganging up on me!" They looked at her for a moment before she winked at them and walked ahead.

* * *

Minutes later, deep within the massive royal mansion, Mario and co. entered Rey Ray's office. The pale Goomba sat up straight in his seat as soon as he saw Mario. He scanned Mario's body and started to sweat nervously when he didn't see any armor.

Mario saw the look on his face and grabbed the necklace by the chain, letting it flash into view. "Looking for this?"

Rey Ray jumped to his feet. "Oh thank goodness!" he said, bouncing happily on his heels. "How did you all fare? Is my Goomeredith alright?"

"I'm fine, daddy!" Goomeredith said defensively.

"We ran into a bit of trouble," Koopious said. "Nothing we couldn't handle though!"

"Oh, um, pardon my manners, but who are you?"

Koopious bowed and said, "I'm Koopious, junior monk at Moonview Temple. It's a pleasure to meet you, your majesty."

"I, er, the pleasure's all mine," Rey Ray said, sitting down. "Now then, I suppose you all would like to know where the next piece of the Millennium Armor is."

"Oh yeah!" Mario said, giving a thumbs-up.

"It sounds like Princess Peach has had a breakthrough, so I suggest you go meet her in the library," said Rey Ray.

"Wonderful!" said Goomeredith, spinning around on her tip toes. "Come on guys, I'll show you the way!" Without warning she dashed out of the room, forcing Mario and Koopious to run at full speed to keep up with her.

After a few twists and turns throughout the royal mansion's labyrinth of halls, Goomeredith came to a stop in front of a generic dark door. "Ah," she said with pleasant sigh. "This has always been my favorite room in the house." She grabbed the door with a frown, muttering "Can't say I like giving it up to another princess."

They entered the library. It was a medium-sized room completely lined with bookshelves. There were so many shelves that other bookcases had to be dragged in to contain the flood of paper, though even that wasn't enough to keep all the books on shelves, so piles upon piles of books sat in the corners, by the door, and in front of the one window. Several lamps were scattered across the room, bathing it in a cozy bronze light that gave Mario the sudden urge to grab a book and curl up in a chair, which was saying something since he wasn't much of a reader. In the back left corner sat an old roll-top desk where five Toads were currently sitting, pouring over a pile of books.

Meanwhile, in the back-right corner, Peach sat in a massive, pink, old reading chair, reading a massive history book. Her nose was buried in the book and she wore a pair of pink reading glasses. Her crown was nowhere to be seen and her hair was a mess. From her disheveled appearance and the empty teacup sitting nearby, Mario guessed she had been up for a _long_ time.

Goomeredith looked slightly irritated. "She's in _my_ chair," she whispered.

Mario rolled his eyes and ignored her. "Ahem," he said loudly, causing Peach to perk up.

"Helloooo!" she chirped brightly as if she'd had a perfect night's sleep. "How'd it go? I see you have a new friend."

Koopious bowed. "You must be Princess Peach. I'm Koopious, a monk from the Moonview Temple."

"Ah, I was just reading about your temple!" Peach said, excitedly flipping back through her book. "You all worship the Moon Spirits, correct?"

"Indeed. Though Mario here has, er, _informed_ me that you all are unfamiliar with them." Koopious glared at Mario whom grinned sheepishly back.

"Fascinating!" Peach said, resting her chin in her hands. "Well, I would love to hear more sometime, but I suppose you all would like to know where the next piece of the Millennium Armor is." She turned towards the desk and called "Wolley T, could you fetch me the newspaper?"

"You got it, princess!" replied a yellow-spotted Toad. He pawed through the piles of paper on the desk and scurried over to Peach with a fresh newspaper.

"So we haven't quite yet found where any of the other armor pieces are located for sure, though I think we're close," she said. "However, there has been news about those Suited Soldier guys. Take a look."

She handed Mario the paper. On the front page was the headline "Suited Soldiers capture Sodeeum!" with a picture of a small army surrounding a town. Mario handed back the paper, muttering "Mama mia."

Peach nodded solemnly. "They are apparently occupying that town and taking residence in an old fort at its edge. While we don't know their motives for sure, here's my thoughts: since they've already revived Reginoir they've essentially won, so it doesn't make sense for them to go out and capture a random town. That is, unless that town holds something that could stop them."

"The Millennium Armor!" Koopious said enthusiastically.

Peach smiled. "Exactly! So, until we can find any locations for sure, this is your best bet."

"Where do we find this Sodeeum Village?" Mario asked.

"According to the article it's in the Todriforyu Desert."

Mario scratched his head. "Why does that sound familiar?"

"We saw it while on Mount Stonefront, remember?" Goomeredith said. "It's a gigantic salt flat on top of Mount Cinder."

"So you know where it is?" asked Peach.

Goomeredith nodded. "More or less."

"Well then," said Peach, picking up her book. "I can't really help you guys any more, so I'll see you once you get the next piece. Good luck!"

* * *

At the western edge of Brightendale laid a large flower farm. The flowers were each given about an acre of land, and each acre was fenced off by simple wooden posts and dived by lush grassy paths. The sun was bright and hot, the wind was light and cool, and the sky was… well, the sky would have been clear were it not for the influence of an awakening beast. Maybe when this was all over Mario would take Peach out here for a picnic.

Goomeredith stopped as they passed under a gazebo that sat on the intersection of two paths. "Hey," she said, looking up at Mario with puppy-dog eyes. "Before we throw ourselves back into danger do you think we could do something?"

Mario stopped and eyed her confusedly. "What do you mean?"

"Come on, you know!" she said, hopping up and down frustratedly. "That Solar Sprite the monks gave us!"

"Oh, right!" Mario said, digging through his backpack until he pulled out the orange sprite. "Koopious, do you mind if she gets the first upgrade? She was the first to join me."

Koopious looked at Mario confusedly. "You say that like you know we're going to find more of these."

"That's how these things usually work."

Koopious laughed lightly. "I have a lot to learn about adventures. But sure, go for it."

Goomeredith giddily snatched the Solar Sprite from Mario's hands and pressed it into her chest. The sprite sunk into her body as if it wasn't even there. Slowly, a warm, orange aura surrounded her, creating a wind that caused her hair to flutter upwards. The aura slowly grew larger, hotter, and more orange. As power flowed into her, Goomeredith's eyes slowly turned white and she began to scream, not in pain, but in a sort of war cry. The whole thing lasted about thirty seconds until the aura quickly died down and she returned to normal.

"Wow," Koopious said quietly. "That was..."

"Intense," Mario finished. "How do you feel?"

Goomeredith was grinning wide. "Like I'm better than just a frail princess!" she said, kicking at the air. "I feel like I could take way more hits than before! And, whoa, hold on. I don't know how, but I've thought of a cool new attack!"

Mario rubbed his chin. "Huh, so I guess you get a free new move with the Solar Sprite. That's convenient."

"Look here!" Goomeredith said, bouncing up and down. "You're gonna love this!" She stood still for a moment in deep concentration until she suddenly shouted "Shinebright Spear!" and a horn of golden light sprung from the gem on the front of her tiara. She then bared her head so the horn was facing forward and charged ahead until she stabbed the gazebo's railing.

As soon as she made contact the spear faded and Goomeredith looked up at her companions expectantly. "Pretty cool, right?"

"Well, I guess it can be useful," Mario said, trying not to look impressed.

"Oh come on!" she said, putting on a pouty face. "You're impressed!"

Mario grinned and stepped off of the gazebo. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Koopious began to run ahead. "Look, we'll have plenty of time for the cute banter after we save the day. Let's get going!"

Mario picked up the pace to catch up with him. "Sure, sure."

"Guys!" Goomeredith called, scrambling to keep from being left behind. "Wait for me!"

So the trio ran their way across the flower farms, watching as the ground got grittier and grittier and the fields held less and less flowers. The faint silhouette on the horizon over time became more and more clear until the flat, red tops of Mount Cinder's mesas filled their field of view. When the grass finally gave way to red sand and the flower fields ended, they came to a stop and stared up at the hundreds of feet of rock looming over them.

"Gentlemen," Goomeredith said, "Welcome to Mount Cinder."


	15. In Unsuitably Dry Lands - Part 1

**Chapter 2: In Unsuitably Dry Lands**

* * *

The late afternoon sun sunk lower and lower into the sky until it sat below the massive red walls of Mount Cinder. Mario, Goomeredith, and Koopious were cast in the mountain's shadow as they trudged through the dusty, red plains on the mountain's outskirts. They made their way north alongside the cliffs in order to find a building that Goomeredith swore would lead them up into the Todriforyu Desert.

"Oh yeah, loving this," Koopious grumbled as another batch of red dust was blown into his face. "I always imagined adventuring as more glorious."

"I know what you mean," said Goomeredith, trying to shake dust out of her hair.

Mario had his hat pulled over his face to block the dust. "Oh this is far from the worst of it," he said, pausing for his partners to sigh. "I bet you the desert will be even worse. And, well, I'd take _that_ over a volcano any day."

Koopious shook his head. "I disagree. When you tell somebody that you ventured through a volcano they think you're heroic and brave. When you tell somebody you spent the last however long shaking dust out of your robes they just pity you."

"Well, I hate to break it to you," Goomeredith said, whipping out her blue travel book. "But as far as I know, there isn't a single volcano in this kingdom. So you'll have to find your glory in the desert, the snow, or a city."

"There's gotta be _something_ cool about this place that I can impress the other monks with later," Koopious said, peering over her shoulders at the book.

Goomeredith flipped through the pages for a moment. "Let's save the juicy legends of the desert for when we get there, shall we?" She flipped back a couple of pages. "But I'm sure there's something cool about this wasteland." She stopped walking for a moment to read the page. "Aha! Rumor has it these very lands are actually an ancient burial ground. Is that cool enough for your ego?"

"My _valor_ ," corrected Koopious, sticking his nose up.

Goomeredith giggled at him. "Oh you are full of it!"

Mario laughed along with her. "Don't worry Koopious. Nobody's gonna care about anything except how you beat up the bad guys."

"Well that's just- oof!" Koopious tripped and fell flat on his face, burying his beak in the dirt. He took a moment to spit dust out of his mouth and then looked back to see what he tripped on. "Goomeredith, what were you saying about an ancient burial ground?"

They gathered around the bone. It appeared to be a dried up Koopa skull that was stained crimson by centuries of sitting in the dust. As they stared at it, the dust seemed to flow off of it as if some magical force was brushing it away. Or, hold on, no it wasn't anything magical, at least not in the way they expected. Much to their horror, the skull was rising!

The trio backed away from the skull as it, and the rest of a red Koopa skeleton, rose out of the ground. "Mario!" peeped Goomeredith. "I don't think he's friendly, is he?"

Mario slowly shook his head. "You should probably go ahead and get out the tattle log."

Goomeredith shakily pulled out the green book and began to read. "That's a Red Bones, a, ahem, _rather angry_ undead Koopa. It's packing some defense, so unless you're powered up like me you should stick to stronger attacks. He'll mainly attack by throwing bones. Are those part of his body or does he just find them laying around? Either way I _do not_ want to get near those creepy things!" The Red Bones promptly chucked a small, red bone that hit her right in the forehead. "Eeeeek!"

Mario pulled out his hammer and prepared to rush forward, but was hit in the back of the head by a bone before he could move. He slowly looked behind him and then yelped "Mama mia!" Slowly approaching the group, throwing bones as it went, was a second Red Bones. He turned around to face the new assailant and swung his hammer at it. The Red Bones' skull cracked, but it appeared otherwise unfazed.

Meanwhile, Goomeredith was facing the other Red Bones, charging up energy. "Shinebright Spear!" she shouted after a moment, letting the light spear shoot out of her tiara. She then bore her head down and charged straight towards the Red Bones. The spear went past the foe's ribs and pierced its spine, causing it to fall apart immediately and sink back into the dusty ground. "Few!" she said as the spear retracted. "That takes a lot out of me!"

"And we forgot to pick up supplies in Brightendale, didn't we?" Mario groaned, hitting the other Red Bones with his hammer and causing it to collapse.

"Well, this wouldn't be an issue if _someone_ didn't drink all of our syrups," Koopious said, crossing his arms.

"Hey, Phanthomas mighta killed us if I didn't do that!" Mario said. He was about to start walking again when he heard a rattling sound below him. "Oh no."

Suddenly, three Red Bones burst out of the ground, all facing the trio. "You're kidding!" gasped Goomeredith. "More of these guys?"

"Nothing we can't handle," Koopious said confidently. He tucked into his shell and prepared a Moon Dash. However, before he could charge the attack he was knocked onto his back by yet another Red Bones rising out of the ground.

"We still got this, right guys?" Goomeredith said, trying to sound sure of herself. "We took on seven bandits before, and sure these guys are stronger, but… but." She trailed off and began to slowly back away from the Red Bones. She froze upon hearing another set of rattling, and before she could try to run she was sent flying back towards the group with a loud scream. The other four Red Bones took advantage of the moment and chucked bones at her as soon as she landed.

Mario looked in horror at his partner. She appeared to be badly hurt, just barely hanging on. There was no clear escape and they were all out of mushrooms. He had to do something, but what could he do? He was running out of options and beginning to panic. It was only a matter of time before-

"Use the necklace, you idiot!" screamed Koopious.

Oh right, he did have that, didn't he? Mario squeezed the Millennium Necklace's pendant as hard as he could and Goomeredith was immediately surrounded with a green beam of light. The Red Bones shrieked in shock and fear at the beam and backed away from her.

Though he couldn't see much through the light, Mario could barely make out the figure of Goomeredith getting to her feet. "That was close!" she said shakily as the light cleared.

"We're not out of this yet," Koopious said. As he spoke, the Red Bones had recovered from the shock of Heal Beam and were closing in all around them. "I recommend we try to find an opening and run." Mario and Goomeredith nodded in agreement.

Suddenly, before anyone could move, a rock slammed into one of the Red Bones, causing it to stumble. Mario took advantage of the Red Bones' shock and hit it over the head with his hammer, finishing it off. A narrow gap was left in the crowd of Red Bones. "Let'sa go!" Mario shouted, running between the confused skeletons. Koopious followed close behind him, but Goomeredith wasn't so lucky. Right as she seemed to make it past the foes, one of them whirled around and grabbed her by the back of the dress.

"Mario!" she screamed, flailing her feet violently.

"Don't worry!" A new figure ran in, jumped, and violently slammed into the Red Bones. It collapsed and the figure grabbed Goomeredith and ran towards Mario and Koopious. Once they got close enough to be seen through the dust, Mario could see that the figure was a royal-blue Bumpty. She had curly blonde hair and wore a red bandana and a tan vest.

The trio stared at her confusedly. "Who are you?" asked Goomeredith, dusting off her dress.

"How'd you find us?" asked Koopious.

"We heard you three shouting," the Bumpty explained, looking over her shoulder at the advancing Red Bones.

"We?" asked Goomeredith. Before the Bumpty could respond they saw a rock sail over their heads and once again bludgeon a Red Bones. Everyone looked behind them to see a Huckit Crab waving at them. He had a cyan shell and wore a pink and blue striped tie.

"Come on, it's not far to the lodge!" the Huckit Crab called, waving his larger right claw towards him.

"Let's move!" the Bumpty said, running towards the Huckit Crab, whom was now scuttling northward. They ran after him, with the Red Bones in hot pursuit, until a large wooden building in the side of the mountain came into view. As the sun set, the building's lights shone like a beacon into the mountain landscape.

A Yoshi stood near the door. He had orange scales and blue spines and wore a leather jacket and a black fedora. He lightly twirled a fire flower in his hand. "So you found some sorry saps out there after all, eh?" he called to his companions. "Alright guys, you better get out of the way before you get burned!"

"He means it!" the Bumpty said panickedly, pushing Mario and co. off to the side.

"Heh, this is gonna be great," the Yoshi said, planting the fire flower in the ground. The flower's beady eyes blinked twice before it suddenly spewed an inferno towards the Red Bones, causing them all to immediately collapse into the burning soil.

For a moment, everyone was quiet, staring in shock, awe, or excitement at the flickering patch of ground where the Red Bones had just stood. The smoldering flames lit up the twilight air, casting light on the confused faces of Mario's party and the amused grin of the Yoshi. Goomeredith finally spoke up. "That was… so cool! Mario, we need to buy some of those!"

The Yoshi pulled another fire flower out of his pocket. "I can provide. I'll sell them to you for- oh I don't know- 25 coins each?"

The Huckit Crab stepped in between Goomeredith and the Yoshi. "Listen, you guys probably don't want to buy anything from Doughshi. He's a good guy, but his prices are… inconsistent."

"Oh come on, Chuck!" Doughshi snapped, glaring daggers at the Huckit Crab. "I'm a week behind schedule, let me make some profit!"

"Hey, I live by a code: transparency will keep you customers," Chuck said, holding his big claw over his heart.

"They're not even your customers!" replied Doughshi, crossing his arms and turning away.

"Full-time managers live by the code their bosses give them!" Chuck said, pointing to a badge on his shell that read "Star Lake City Aqueducts: Assistant Manager".

"Boys, let's calm down a bit and let these three go inside," the Bumpty said, opening the door to the building.

"Yeah, sure thing Birtrude," Doughshi said with a sigh, waving everyone towards the door.

Chuck lead them in. "Welcome to the Mesa Lodge!" They walked into the main lobby. It was a wide, dimly-lit, smoky room with a dirty green carpet floor. The room was divided into two halves by a wooden path running straight from the door to a staircase on the other side of the room. Various beat up old tables sat on the left side, some were wooden dinner tables littered with plates, and others were old billiards tables, some of which were being used for pool and others were used for poker. The right side was covered in tents and sleeping bags inhabited by creatures of all shapes and sizes.

"More guests?" boomed a boisterous voice. A woman approached them wearing an elaborate set of purple robes, including a veil that covered her head and cloaked her face in shadow, with only a pair of yellow eyes visible. On her chest was a yellow orb containing a star, the symbol of a shaman, like Merlon or Merlee of Toad Town.

"Looks like it," Chuck said. "We found these three out in the foothills being attacked by Red Bones."

"Ugh, I swear those things are going to be the death of me," the shaman muttered to herself. "Look, dearies," she said, her tone growing very loud again as she turned to face Mario, Goomeredith, and Koopious. "Don't worry about the bones. They're normally pretty tame, but the darkness in the sky has got them spooked, so if that hero does his job and we're not all dead in a month then your next trips here to lovely Mesa Lodge will be much more peaceful!"

"We'll do our best," Mario said, the long day weighing on his voice.

"You don't mean," Chuck said quietly.

Doughshi gasped loudly. "You're the guy who's supposed to kill Reginoir?" he shouted. The whole room went quiet and Mario could feel a hundred pairs of eyes on him.

"Alright, alright!" the shaman called to the lodge guests. "Let's let the man feel welcome and stop staring at him!" She turned back to Mario and held out a hand cloaked in a white velvet glove. "I wasn't expecting anyone of your trade here. My name's Guinevere and I'd like to welcome you to my Mesa Lodge. What's your name, dear?"

Mario gave her a thumbs-up, and like he had with most people on this journey, he introduced himself with "It's a me, Mario!" He then pointed to his partners. "And these are my friends. The Koopa is Koopious, and the Goomba is-"

"Princess Goomeredith," Guinevere said, staring at her with wide eyes. "What a day," she breathed. "So what brings a hero and a princess-"

"-and a monk!"

"To my humble hotel?" Guinevere finished.

Mario, through his exhaustion, managed to put on an extra serious face. "We're passing through for some important business. We need to get to Sodeeum Village."

Guinevere sighed loudly. "And so does everyone else in this place."

"Huh?"

"Sodeeum is a fairly large town that requires an expensive supply line," she explained. "A lot of merchants wanted to capitalize on that, so I built the Mesa Lodge to help them get up to the desert and make some coins on the side. Normally the stream of merchants is pretty steady and you'd only see five or so traveling salesmen at most here on a given night. But, that all changed almost a month ago. Once those Suited Soldier guys started holding Sodeeum they started preventing anyone from crossing the desert. Since Sodeeum is such a lucrative venture, most of the merchants have been staying here and waiting, slowly building up, but I'm afraid they'll soon give up on the town and I'll lose their business for good."

"Not to mention all the money each of us is losing waiting for a dang opportunity!" Doughshi added, clenching his fists. "Our friend, Valacy T, got fed up and headed out into the desert yesterday. We've yet to hear from him, which is either a great sign, or a hopeless one."

"Sorry pal," Chuck said, looking dejected. "Looks like you're not gonna make it there."

"Hold on guys," Goomeredith said brightly. "There's no reason to be so sad! We're trying to go there _because_ of the Suited Soldiers."

Everyone stared at them with dropped jaws for a moment. "You mean you're going to fight them?" Birtrude asked cautiously.

Koopious punched the air and grinned. "Absolutely."

"Excellent!" Guinevere shouted, drawing the attention of many of the guests. "Oh, this is fantastic! On behalf of my many patrons, I'd like to give you three a free night's stay and some dinner on the house."

Mario smiled at the shaman. "Thank you, Guinevere, we really appreciate it." As he spoke he let the stress of the day finally show on his face. He could hardly believe that practically everything on Mount Stonefront: tracking down Koopious on Stonefront Spine, meeting the Mugging Mountaineers, traveling through Moonview Temple, and fighting Phanthomas, had all been that day. He deserved a free dinner.

"Come on," Doughshi said, placing an arm around Mario's shoulders. "Let's play some cards while we chow."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Mario, Goomeredith, Koopious, Birtrude, Chuck, and Doughshi all sat down at a grease-stained pool table, eating dinner and playing Texas Hold'em. Mario ordered a plate of spaghetti, Goomeredith ordered their finest steak (it wasn't very fine), and Koopious ordered an omelet.

"Okay," Mario said between bites. "So you heard about us, what brings you guys here?"

"I'm part of the usual crowd here," Doughshi said as he bet a few coins. "I'm just your average item salesman."

"Oh you are not 'average'," said Chuck, who folded. "Look guys, I warned you about him back outside and I'll warn you about him now. You will be _severely_ ripped off unless you're a master at haggling."

"I can back that up," Birtrude said, raising the bet. "We actually became friends after an intense round of negotiations. He was the only item vendor around at the time and I was determined to get a good deal."

"Yeah, I remember that," Doughshi said. "You nearly got me to _lose_ money on some mushrooms. At that point I backed off, said I respected you, and offered to buy you a drink, at which point you succumbed to my amazing personality."

"More like I learned to tolerate you."

"Yeah," said Chuck with a nod. "I love you, man, but don't toot your own horn."

"Whatever," grumbled Doughshi, angry both from the conversation and from all the chips he just lost to Koopious.

"I guess I'm next," said Birtrude, dealing out the next hand. "I'm Birtrude, a geologist from San Estrella."

"Which is…?" Mario asked.

"Oh, right, foreign," she said awkwardly. "It's a big city on the other side of Mount Cinder. Anyways, I'm a geologist and I really wanna know what's up with the Todriforyu Desert. How old is it, how did it get there, etc. So I trek up to Sodeeum Village every once in a while to take samples and do tests."

"And then there's me," Chuck said, folding once again. "I didn't actually meet these two until this whole affair started, but I'd like to think we've become quick friends ever since."

"I don't know, Chuckie," Doughshi said, giving him a sly look over his cards. "You've been trying my patience quite a bit today."

"And you deserved it," he said sternly. "But, my point remains, I hope. I'm here from a company called Star Lake City Aqueducts, or SLCA Inc, which is based out of, you guessed it, Star Lake City." He paused for a second before noticing the look on Mario's face. "Oh, uh, of course. It's a big city to the northeast of Mount Stonefront. I was sent here by my boss to help negotiate a water pipeline out to Sodeeum Village, which they desperately need."

"He's hoping to get a promotion out of this," Birtrude said as she laid down her cards.

"And I think he'd kill every single Suited Soldier if he could for delaying it," Doughshi added.

Chuck tapped his claw on the table annoyedly. "Well yes, I am hoping to achieve the position of head manager, which I've been working towards for years, but I wouldn't _kill_ anyone over that. Maaaaaybe incapacitate, but hey, it depends on how evil they are."

"If Chuck weren't such a nice guy he'd been an assassin," Doughshi teased.

Chuck pulled a rock out of his shell and tossed it up and down with his big claw. "Ah yes, I'd be the most feared assassin around," he said sarcastically. "Nobody could stop _The Rock Killer_!"

* * *

A couple hours later, Mario and co. laid on mats near their new friends. The merchants, who were used to the Mesa Lodge, had fallen asleep almost immediately, soon followed by the heavy-sleeping Goomeredith, and then by Koopious, who was used to rushing winds blaring in his ears all night. Mario, on the other hand, was having a lot of trouble. Many of the rough and tumble merchants liked to stay up _late,_ and they also seemed to think it was acceptable to drink and yell and play pool late at night. It took what felt like hours (though it easily could have been ten minutes) for him to fall asleep, but eventually his eyes closed and he began to snore.

And immediately someone started poking him.

"Wakey wakey," whispered a voice. It sounded familiar to him, but he couldn't quite remember who it was. He had a general feel for the voice, but he couldn't pin a name to it. "Mario!" And then he remembered: that was because he didn't know her name. His eyes shot open and he saw the woman from Nesten Village standing over him and poking him with her boots. She was that same human woman from the alley with the long brown ponytail, yellow jacket, and ultra hammer.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "What are you doing here?" he whispered. Without responding she grabbed him by the hand and yanked him to his feet. She pulled him around the other sleeping guests and back over to the tables where she sat down at the very same table he ate dinner at.

"Alright," she said. "You can talk now."

"How did you know I was sitting here?" he asked, looking at her suspiciously.

"You didn't see me?" she asked, sounding genuinely surprised. "I was playing pool three tables over. Heck, I even waved at you when no one else was looking."

Mario's suspicions slowly eased. "I guess I wasn't looking for you."

"Like I said back in Nesten, I'm checking in on you," the jacket lady said. She looked around for a second before leaning in and whispering "You got the necklace, didn't you?"

Mario nodded and slowly reached for the chain. The Millennium Necklace appeared with a golden flash, but nobody in the area seemed to notice. _'Why am I showing her?'_ he thought to himself. _'I'm screwed if she's a bad guy.'_

"Wow, it looks great!" she said, running a finger along the chain. "It looks good as new, if you ask me."

Mario leaned away from her and took his hand off the necklace, letting it slowly fade from view. "It seems to work perfectly too, if the legends are right."

"I sure hope so," she said, looking skeptically at Mario. "You've done well so far, but from what I've seen these Suited Soldier guys are much nastier than the Mugging Mountaineers. They're the kind of wicked creeps that makes a woman want to give up on the world, you know?"

Mario thought back to foes like the Smithy Gang, the X-Nauts, and some of the scarier sects of the Koopa Troop. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Now, maybe they're weak enough for you to handle, I don't know," she said with a shrug. "I haven't had a whole lot of time to look into them, so I've had to rely on word of mouth and let's face it, the average resident of Brightendale is pretty helpless. It makes me worry for what Reginoir could do to them, what kind of suffering the world could face."

"I'm sure I can handle him," Mario said confidently. "I've dealt with kingdom-conquering foes before."

The woman shook her head. "Maybe, but I don't quite think you understand how strong he is. Hmmm, what's a good comparison?" She drummed her fingers on the table as she thought. "Oh, have you heard of the Shadow Queen, that demon that plunged the world into darkness about 1000 years ago?"

"You mean the one that came back a few years ago?"

"She did?" the woman asked, looking completely shocked. "No way! I never would have guessed she'd come back."

"It was all over the world's news," Mario said, raising an eyebrow.

"I was a bit preoccupied back then," the woman said, looking away. "So, you've heard of her?"

Mario stared at her with a completely neutral expression. "I think I might be familiar with her."

"Right, well Reginoir is without a doubt stronger than her."

"So?"

"So we're not just talking about the fate of Shinebright Bluffs here!" the woman said, slamming her hand down on the table and punching a hole through it. "We're talking about the fate of the whole world."

Mario sighed and put his head in his hands. "This is heavy." After only a couple seconds of moping though, he snapped back to attention. "But that doesn't mean I can't stop him!"

The woman sighed. "I hope so, Mario. I hope so. But hey, I like your spirit, and so far you haven't failed, so I'll keep faith in you. Now go get some rest, you're gonna need your energy if you want to kill the Suited Soldiers."

Mario looked at her confusedly as he stood up. "Right." He stretched and yawned before stepping away from the table. "Well then, I guess I'll see you whenever you drop in next, Miss Yellow Jacket."

The woman giggled, but quickly frowned. "Yeah, nice effort, but don't call me that."


	16. In Unsuitably Dry Lands - Part 2

The next morning, after haggling with Doughshi for some decently priced items, Mario, Goomeredith, and Koopious made their way to the top of the massive staircase at the back of the Mesa Lodge. They approached the wide garage door separating them from the Todriforyu desert and took one last look back at the lodge.

"Are you guys sure you can handle the desert?" Chuck asked from the stairs. "I can't emphasize this enough: it is _really_ dry out there!"

Mario waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry about us! We, or at least I, have handled places way worse than here."

"Drink lots of water!" Birtrude called.

"Really, we've got it!" Mario replied, reaching down to grab the garage door handle. With a hearty pull he threw open the door and was immediately bathed in blinding sunlight. The land before them was composed entirely of a grainy mixture of salt and red dust in a way that made the whole area look like it was covered in rusty snow. To call it a salt _flat_ wasn't entirely accurate. Much of the land had fractured and some chunks of salty land rose or sank at the fault lines. Large spires of salt also littered the ground, creating a landscape that seemed truly alien. The mountain's red mesas ran around the border of the Desert, giving Mario a small glimpse of familiar landscape in the background no matter where he looked.

Slowly the trio stepped out into the desert, feeling the salt crunch beneath their feet. Their mouths hung open in awe, but they quickly shut them as they felt the desert air sucking the moisture from their mouths. "I take it this isn't normal for the outside world?" Koopious asked, looking out at the desert.

"I've seen a lot of the world, and this ranks pretty high on the 'weird' list," Mario said, tentatively tapping his foot on the ground. It seemed solid enough, so he started to walk and his partners quickly followed. "Hey Goomeredith, why don't you tell us a bit about this place?"

"With pleasure!" Goomeredith said, getting out her blue travel guide. "The Todriforyu Desert: an ancient salt flat that's become less and less flat over the centuries. Nobody's entirely sure how it formed, but everybody agrees that it's the weirdest place in Shinebright Bluffs! Only the hardiest creatures can live here full time and only the foolhardiest outsiders dare travel into these barren lands. Because of this, very little is known about the history of the desert, but one legend has prevailed over the years: a certain species of Pokey will grant you one wish if you give them water. Huh, if they can grant wishes then why don't they just grant themselves some water?"

"Wish-granting Pokeys?" Mario asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's a new one. But hey, we should keep an eye out for them, they sound useful."

The trio's progress was quite slow. The sun was incredibly hot and their steps grew slower and slower as they grew sweatier and sweatier. Somehow none of them realized that overalls, a fancy dress, and thick robes weren't fitting outfits for a desert. It took them twenty or so minutes to get to the edge of their chunk of land, which had been clearly visible from the Mesa Lodge. At the edge they found a makeshift bridge made of lines of wooden boards, which had clearly been put there by merchants a while ago. Tire marks suggested that it was strong enough to hold cars, but Mario was still nervous to cross it.

The next platform was a wide, crescent-shaped platform bordered on the right by a wall of salt and on the left by open air (the platform there was sunken down a hundred feet or so). Various spires of salt littered the platform as well as several oddly shaped white clumps.

"Sure is eerie out here," Koopious said. Indeed, they could hear nothing except their own footsteps and the sound of the wind winding its way across the desert. "I wouldn't be surprised if we're the only living things for miles."

It was then that they heard the sound of rattling bones.

"To be fair," Koopious said with a sigh. "That's technically not living."

While most of the oddly shaped white clumps were just piles of salt, three of them sprung up, revealing themselves as white Dry Bones. "Those are Salty Bones!" Goomeredith announced. "They're like Red Bones only… saltier. And don't worry about a whole hoard of them showing up. The ground's too hard for them to burrow into, so what we see is what we get."

"Let's make this quick, I'm already getting thirsty," Mario said, whipping out his hammer. At this point the three Salty Bones were lined up in a row and marching towards them. Mario ran up to the left one and bonked it over the head. The other two Salty Bones immediately chucked bones at him, which he barely managed to duck under.

"Clear the way!" Koopious called as he slid in towards the same Salty Bones. Mario jumped out of the way and Koopious slammed into the skeleton, causing it to collapse back into a harmless pile of bones.

"This is going pretty well," Mario said, though he was panting heavily. He lifted his hammer and weakly hit the next Salty Bones and Koopious came in to finish it off. "Okay, I'm gonna need to take a drink real quick," he said hoarsely. He reached for his canteen and held it up, prepared to take a revitalizing drink. Just as he pressed the bottle to his lips, a bone flew in and smacked it out of his hands, spilling all of the water on the ground.

"Oh jeez," Goomeredith said as she impaled the perpetrator with the Shinebright Spear, causing it to collapse. "That was an unfortunate shot."

Mario looked down at the spilled canteen in horror. The water had already evaporated and he was left with a dry, hollow bottle. His head began to spin and he felt his tongue grow completely dry. "Water," he heard himself say.

"Hey, don't worry!" Goomeredith said, rushing to his side. "I'll give you some of mine!"

Mario nodded slowly and reached for her canteen. His vision was growing spotty and his arm was shaky. Right as he tried to grab the canteen his vision went black and he collapsed.

"Mario!" he heard Goomeredith scream.

"Give him your water!" Koopious shouted at her. He felt something get pressed against his lips and water flow into his mouth, but it was already too late. He passed out.

* * *

"He's waking up!" That was the first thing Mario heard after regaining consciousness. The first thing he felt was quite surprising. Despite remembering falling over in somewhere unmistakably dry, he felt like he had been completely drenched in water. Slowly he opened his eyes. He saw that somehow he was back in the Mesa Lodge and his partners, his three merchant friends, and Guinevere were standing above him.

"What happened?" he managed to say as his head cleared.

"You collapsed from some sort of mix of dehydration and a heat stroke," Goomeredith said. Mascara was streamed down her face like she'd been crying for a while.

"We managed to carry you back here," Koopious explained. He was trying to look collected, but Mario could see the worry in his face.

"Did I really pass out like that?" Mario groaned, sitting up. "That doesn't sound like me."

Doughshi pat him on the back. "Don't worry about it. Plenty of people pass out their first time in the Todriforyu, 'specially bigger guys."

Mario ignored the Yoshi's weight comment as he stared out into the crowd of merchants. Among them was the jacket lady, shaking her head at him. _'She doesn't think I can save the day,'_ he thought angrily. He quickly got to his feet. "Let's head back out."

Koopious shook his head. "Hold on for a minute. I get you need to save face here, but we're not judging. I'd rather see you humbled than dead."

Mario relaxed and let out a sigh. "Alright, so what are we staying back for?"

"Clearly we need a plan," Koopious said. "We can't just go charging out there with a few small canteens."

"Actually," said Chuck, stepping forward. "I was thinking I could help with that."

Mario looked at him curiously. "How?"

Rather than answer, Chuck sunk deeper into his shell until his eyes were no longer visible. Suddenly a torrent of water shot out of his shell and struck Mario in the stomach. "Like that!"

Mario looked down at the Huckit Crab in disgust. "Did you just puke on me?"

Chuck immediately became flustered, backing up and waving his claws wildly. "No, no, it's not like that! That's what I did earlier to cool you off!"

"What the heck, man!"

"It's clean, fresh water, I swear!" Chuck shouted, falling to his knees and clutching his claws as if he were praying for mercy.

"I don't know..."

Birtrude looked Mario in the eye. "Listen, Chuck helped save your life with that water. If he says it's clean then you should trust him that it's clean."

Mario looked down at the especially wet patch on his stomach and let out a sigh of defeat. "Okay, I trust you. What's your plan."

"Well, just a canteen isn't going to cut it. So I figured I could provide you guys with more water-"

"Eww..."

"Trust the crab!" barked Doughshi.

"Alright, alright!" Mario said, waving his arms. "I'll drink the shell water!"

Goomeredith looked over at Chuck distastefully. "How strange, a princess drinking water from someone's shell."

"Well," said Chuck, puffing out his chest proudly. "My water's probably cleaner than what you have in Brightendale."

"Excuse me?" Goomeredith practically screamed.

Chuck immediately backed away. "I wasn't trying to be offensive. It's just fact. The rural pipes aren't high quality."

"Rural?"

"Relatively!" Chuck said, backing away farther.

"Goomeredith," Mario said sternly. "Calm the heat."

"None of you city folk have any respect for your capital," she grumbled.

Mario sighed and turned back to Chuck. "Okay, so what exactly do we need to do to carry all this water?"

"Oh, I was thinking, er," Chuck said, casting a cautious glance at Goomeredith. "I was thinking that I would actually go with you guys."

"Chuck, you can't be serious!" Birtrude said. "Do you really think you can take on the Suited Soldiers?"

"Alone, no. But with these guys, definitely. Plus, they need me-"

"As much as I appreciate the offer, I don't think _need_ is the right word," Mario said, trying to stand tall.

"Dearie," said Guinevere, patting him on the back. "I know you have an ego to maintain, but you passed out in the desert. You _need_ him."

"Well, regardless of need," Mario said, his posture dropping. "I'd love to have you on board. What do you two think?"

"He seems like a nice guy and a useful addition to the team," Koopious said with a smile.

Goomeredith turned her nose up at Chuck. "If he apologizes for being so rude to his capital and his princess."

"Goomeredith, you can't be serious," Mario said with a sigh.

"I'm a princess, I'm allowed to be stubborn about things every once in a while!"

Chuck stepped forward. "My apologies, your majesty," he said in his most earnest voice.

Goomeredith's stern composure quickly melted to a grin. "Good enough for me, welcome to the team!"

Doughshi, Birtrude, and Guinevere clapped for him. "Congrats, Chuck!" Birtrude said happily.

"Yeah, working with a big time hero, that's pretty rad," Doughshi added.

"To think, I've now had four heroes pass through my hotel today," Guinevere said in a prideful voice. "Oh you guys are going to make this place legendary!"

* * *

Soon enough Chuck had refilled everyone's canteens, gathered his belongings, and joined the rest of his new team at the top of the grand staircase. "Are you guys ready?" he asked, handing out the fresh canteens.

"Hold on!" called Birtrude. She and Doughshi were running up the stairs to meet them. "If you guys need any help out there just let us know, okay?"

"Sounds great," said Mario. "But how do I get in touch with you?"

"Phone? Email?"

Mario rummaged through his backpack. "I guess I have this," he said, holding out the Mailbox SP.

"Yikes, that thing is ancient," Doughshi commented as Birtrude typed their emails into the device.

Birtrude shut the Mailbox SP and handed it back to him. "Alright, you're good to go. And Chuck, make sure he doesn't pass out again."

"I'll keep an eye on him," Chuck said with a wink.

"Yeah, yeah I'm a helpless baby who needs to drink his water," Mario grumbled, reaching down to grab the garage door handle. He yanked it open, once again revealing the blinding desert. "Alright guys, let'sa go!" He took a gulp of water and stepped out into the desert, now with a team of four.

"Wow, this place is a sight," Chuck said, letting out an impressed whistle.

Mario looked at him confusedly, but quickly snapped his glance back to the path so he wouldn't trip. "Haven't you been out here before?"

Chuck shook his head. "I'm not a regular merchant, remember? I was supposed to come negotiate a deal for a pipeline, but ever since I heard about the Suited Soldiers I've been holed up in the Mesa Lodge."

"So I guess you're not really battle-hardened like the other merchants," Koopious said, curiously knocking on Chuck's shell.

"Please… don't do that," Chuck said, scuttling to the side. He thought about the question for a moment. "Well, I wouldn't say I'm anywhere near the level of someone like Doughshi, but I can fight if I need to. You saw me throwing those rocks back in the foothills, right?"

"Oh right," said Mario. "The ones that saved our lives. Uh, thanks for that by the way."

"It's no problem at all," Chuck said happily. "Helping people is what I do. Why do you think I started working for a water company?"

"I don't know." Mario shrugged at him. "It seemed like good theming?"

"Huh." Chuck paused for a moment. "You know, I never thought of it quite like that."

They soon made it back to the platform where Mario had passed out. Several of the piles of bones were mysteriously missing, causing Mario, Goomeredith, and Koopious to look around nervously, but Chuck seemed oblivious to their nerves. That is, not until a Salty Bones jumped out from behind a pillar of salt.

Koopious struck a battle pose. "You guys just don't know when to quit, do you?"

"Oh, there's bones up here too?" asked Chuck. "Hold on, let me show you guys my rock-throwing skills!" He reached into his shell and pulled out a rock. "Er, well now there's a lot of pressure. I, uh, don't blame me if I miss." He tossed the rock and it sailed cleanly over the Salty Bones' head, which gave it a confused look.

"Psh, what an amateur city slicker," said Goomeredith, running towards the Salty Bones. She went in for a headbonk, but ended up overshooting and landed right behind it.

Koopious couldn't help but snort with laughter. "Alright guys, I got this." He tucked into his shell, spun around, and slammed into the Salty Bones. As he popped out it let out an annoyed screech and smacked him on the nose with a bone. "So that's how you wanna play, huh?" he grumbled, getting back into his shell. He quickly slammed into it for a second time and it collapsed into a pile of bones once again. Once he got out of his shell he looked up at Mario. "Okay, he's up, so we're doing better than last time."

Mario rolled his eyes. "How long will it take for you to forget about this?"

Koopious snickered at him. "I'll try my best to stop," he said, not sounding very honest.

They kept walking until they reached the edge of the platform where they climbed a steep wooden ramp up to another platform that sat high above many of the others. From this platform they had a great view of much of the desert. The many fractured chunks of land stretched out for another half a mile or so until they met a massive flat area that seemed to span the rest of the desert. But that wasn't the only thing they could see.

"Hey, what's that?" Chuck pointed towards the distant edge of the desert to their right. Some shadowy object was flying over the mesas and into the desert.

"Goomeredith, did you say if there were any birds here?" Mario asked. No response. "Goomeredith?" He looked down and saw her staring at the object, wide-eyed and shaky.

"What the heck is _he_ doing here?"

Mario looked out at the object, which was slowly gliding south towards them. "He?" He looked closer as the object approached and saw, much to his surprise, that it was actually a flying limo. Even stranger was the fact that there appeared to be someone sitting on top of the limo.

As the limo passed their perch he finally got a good look at him. He wasn't any species that Mario could identify, rather he resembled a human's shadow. His hair looked like blue flames that fluttered gracefully atop his head. He wore a black tuxedo with a matching black bow-tie, a pair of sliver-rimmed sunglasses, and a set of pearly white gloves. Despite his strange garb and stranger physique, they weren't what stuck out to Mario. The first thing he noticed about this man was his cocky grin that shined white against his face. Mario was certain that whatever he had done to terrify Goomeredith, he had done it with that very grin.

"Goomeredith," Mario said, staring nervously at the man as he drove by. "Who the heck is this guy? Is he with the Suited Soldiers?"

"Oh he is," Goomeredith said, practically whispering. "That's Fancifus, the leader of the Suited Soldiers."


	17. In Unsuitably Dry Lands - Part 3

Mario and co. watched nervously as Fancifus suddenly turned westward (straight ahead from their perspective). "He's heading towards Sodeeum!" Goomeredith whispered, panic evident in her voice.

"Oh man, I was ready to beat up some Suited Soldiers, but I did _not_ sign up for this," Chuck said nervously.

"Well then," Mario said, his tone strong. "Now's your last chance to back out."

"Er no, don't worry about that. I'm here to stay." Chuck fidgeted nervously as he stared out at the shrinking figure of the limo. "It's just, you know, concern about my mortality."

"Mario," Goomeredith said desperately. "That guy lead a campaign that plowed through the whole valley until he found Reginoir! Nobody from the royal guard could stop him!"

Mario appeared unfazed. "The same guards that let Phanthomas break into your house?"

"Oh." Goomeredith's expression suddenly brightened. "Oh! I see your point!"

"I'm afraid I don't," Chuck said, scratching his head with his big claw.

"We beat Phanthomas," Koopious said simply. "So there's no guarantee that we can't beat this creep."

"And no guarantee that we can!" Chuck said. "His minions have been stopping a lot of battle-hardened merchants from crossing the desert and he's gotta be stronger than them!"

Mario sighed, his confidence fading a bit. "Well we won't know until we get there, right? Let's get going." Everyone muttered their agreement and the group continued their trek, first heading down a steep ramp leading down to a wide platform much lower than the others. The platform seemed pretty unremarkable, containing only a few pillars of salt and a few clumps of white rock. Mario made sure and double-checked them to be absolutely sure that they weren't Salty Bones in disguise, and sure enough, they weren't.

But, rock or not, they started moving anyways.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Three clumps of rock spun around, revealing sets of white boots, menacing spikes, and stern faces. They did _not_ look happy to see anyone in their desert.

"I got this, guys!" Chuck shouted heroically, pelting a rock at one of the rocks. It hit it square in the face, but the beast didn't even seem to notice it. "What the heck are these things?" he asked, slowly scuttling towards the edge of the platform.

"What a great question!" Goomeredith said, excitedly fishing the tattle log from her dress. "Those are Salt Clefts!" she said in an exaggeratedly intelligent tone. "They're basically big, ugly, angry chunks of sentient rock. Or would it be salt in this case? Some advice for you: stay away from those spikes! Don't jump on them and _definitely_ get out of the way when they charge at you. Unfortunately, they have unfairly high defense, so it'll take some sort of special technique to defeat them. And by special technique, I mean Koopious, why haven't you started using the Moon Dash yet?"

"Yes, _princess_ ," Koopious replied, sending a grin her way. He tucked into his shell and began to spin.

Meanwhile, the Clefts set Mario in their sights. They all started dashing towards him at once, prompting him to start running. He easily outmaneuvered the first two, but was caught by surprise as he ran directly into the path of the third one. Its massive spikes struck his leg, causing him to cry out in pain. "Mama mia! Why didn't you mention these guys were so strong?"

"Sorry!" Goomeredith said with a sheepish grin.

Mario jumped out of the way of the Salt Clefts as they charged him again. "No worries," he said with a sigh. He quickly reached up to the Millennium Necklace and squeezed it. The healing beam quickly relaxed his leg as if he hadn't been hit.

"Here we go!" Koopious suddenly shot forward, passing through one of the Clefts. He then curved his path carefully so he cut through the other two with ease. After a moment his shell returned to normal and the Clefts were blasted with the orbs of slight. Everyone watched the enemies in anticipation, hoping the attack had done something. After a moment the Clefts shut their eyes and collapsed onto the ground with a thud. Their feet and spines retracted and soon enough they looked like regular rocks once again.

"Whoa, that's a really cool attack!" Chuck said, excitedly running up to Koopious. "I've never seen anyone do something like that."

"I'm sure you haven't," Koopious said. He proudly flexed as he spoke. "It was a technique invented by the Moonview Monks."

"You don't say? Who would have thought such a neat attack would have come from up on Mount Stonefront?"

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Koopious asked angrily. "And here I thought I'd found a teammate who actually respected my home."

"I didn't mean it like that!" Chuck replied, holding up his claws nervously.

"You seem to have a habit of disrespecting anyone who's not from the big cities," Goomeredith said coolly.

Mario took a big gulp of water before cutting in. "Can we wait to discuss this until after we're out of the life-threatening desert?" He waited for his partners to nod. "Alright, let's move on." He waited for Goomeredith and Koopious to step off the platform before whispering to Chuck, "I know you don't mean harm."

Chuck looked up at him appreciatively. "You do?"

Mario nodded. "Not too long ago Goomeredith and I got on Koopious' bad side, so I know how you feel. Now, here's my recommendation: watch what you say and act brave. They'll see you're a good guy if you help them out of a scrape or two."

Chucked nodded back at him. "Alright, noted. Thanks Mario."

Mario smiled back. "No problem. Let's catch up to them."

* * *

A few minutes later, they finally made it to the edge of the flat section of the desert. For miles all they could see was a solid strip of rusty white with a few salt pillars here and there. Sodeeum wasn't in sight, but they knew that it sat somewhere past the hazy horizon.

Koopious stared at the expanse as he took a swig from his bottle. "That's far."

"That's really far," said Goomeredith. "If only we had some way to get across faster." She scanned the area until her gaze came upon a large pink flower off to their right. "A flower!"

Mario looked at the object confusedly. "A flower?"

Goomeredith nodded. "A flower. Do you know what this means?" Everyone looked at her expectantly and said nothing. "It's a wish-granting Pokey!" she said excitedly.

Mario stared at her bewilderedly. "I thought that book of yours was just kidding!" They dashed over to the flower, Goomeredith at the front of the pack, and all circled around it. Goomeredith got out her canteen, but Chuck stepped forward.

"Er, don't waste your water," he said. He saw a bit of gratefulness in her eyes before she looked away. He quickly sunk back into his shell and let loose a torrent of water onto the flower. After a few seconds the flower began to shake and everyone quickly backed away.

"Hot mama, that was some good water!" A huge, six-segment Pokey that was twice as tall as Mario and white as snow shot out of the ground. "Which one of you fine ladies and gentlemen gave me that sweet dosage?"

Chuck slowly raised his claw. "Uh, I did."

"Beautiful, thanks a million, hun!" the Pokey said, grinning so widely that it became creepy. "Now then, since you went and did me such a delicious favor, I suppose I owe you a favor now!"

"Favor?" asked Goomeredith. "Not wish?"

The Pokey quickly turned towards her, causing her to jump back. "Wish? What kind of idiot would think a simple cactus such as myself grants wishes?" Goomeredith just looked down and said nothing. "Anywho," the Pokey said, turning back towards Chuck. "How can I help you, my sweet lump of crab dip?"

Chuck took a moment to process that last compliment before speaking. "We're looking for a way to get across the desert quickly. Is there any way you can help us out?"

"Hmmmm, well I can't move you there myself. Hold on, let me put out some feelers," the Pokey said. She quickly dug herself back into the ground and started squirming around, causing the ground around them to shake and crack. After a moment she violently returned to the surface. "Feels like there's a car sitting a little ways to the north. Is that what you're looking for?"

Chuck jumped up and down joyfully. "Oh man, that's gotta be Valacy T. He'll definitely help us out!"

"Mmm, sounds like that worked out for you then," the Pokey said. "If you need anything else, feel free to water Miss Cacta again, okay dear?"

Chuck looked up at her, but refused to make eye contact. "Uh, yeah, of course."

"That's right," Miss Cacta said before plunging back into the salty ground.

Chuck began to shiver as soon as she was gone. "That was… uncomfortable."

"Who's that Valacy T. guy you mentioned?" Mario asked.

"Oh right, he's a friend of Birtrude and Doughshi. He's a kart salesman, so he's the best guy to go to when you want to get somewhere quick."

Mario grinned. "Alright, I'm willing to bet tracking this guy down will be much faster than trying to walk all the way to Sodeeum, so let'sa go!"

* * *

Within a couple of minutes of walking and fighting off Salty Bones and Clefts they spotted a white, four door car with huge wheels clearly meant for off-road terrain. Sitting on the hood, eating a mushroom was a Toad with yellow spots. He wore a dirty old racing helmet and a jean jacket with the sleeves torn off.

Chuck waved to him. "Valacy! It's me, Chuck!"

The Toad waved back. "Heya!" he called. "What brings you out here?"

"We're off to get rid of the Suited Soldiers," Chuck said once they were within talking range. "We were actually hoping we could borrow your car so we could get to Sodeeum faster."

Valacy T. patted the car's hood. "Well for a cause like that I'd be happy to lend you a hand."

"Thanks man-"

"But!" Valacy said, causing the whole party's faces to fall. "I'm afraid I can't."

"Why not?"

Valacy T. sighed. "As soon as I tried to drive this thing out there those stupid Suited Soldiers managed to stop me, throw me out, and steal a couple of parts. So now the car's undrivable." Out of frustration he pounded his fist on the hood. "I've been out here for the last couple of days searching for the parts. I was about to give up and head back to the lodge when you guys showed up. So, I'll strike you a deal. If you guys can track down my missing steering wheel and tire then I'll fix this baby up for you and let you drive it out to Sodeeum. Sound good?"

Mario gave him a thumbs-up. "We won't keep you waiting too long."

"You better not. I've already gotten a wicked tan and I look better pale, thank you very much."

* * *

Minutes later they once again stood around Miss Cacta's flower. Chuck let out a defeated sigh. "I don't know if I'm ready to be hit on by a cactus again."

Mario pat him on the back. "Well thanks for taking one for the team. Don't you agree guys?"

Goomeredith shrugged. "I suppose. Thanks." Koopious nodded in agreement.

Chuck took a deep breath. "Alright, let's do this." He shot water onto the flower once again.

"Oh my!" Miss Cacta shot out of the ground and immediately turned to look at Chuck. "If it isn't the cyan specimen! Back so soon?"

"I, er, yes? We have another favor to ask, if you don't mind." Chuck nervously tapped his claws together and avoided eye contact.

"Anything for you, dearie. So long as you keep providing me with that sweet sweet water!" She leaned over him, causing him to sweat profusely.

"That car you told us about is missing a couple of parts and I was wondering if you could locate them for us."

"No need to be so polite! Really, all you're doing is making yourself look like a nervous cutie." Chuck's shell practically turned red at this. "Anyway, let me check." She plunged back into the ground and began to wiggle, once again shaking the ground around them. After a moment she returned. "I can tell you that one is atop that tall pillar over there," she said, pointing with her head towards the fragmented section of land at the tallest platform in the area. "And the other one is somewhere over there," she said, pointing towards another area in the fragmented region. "I'm afraid I can't be more specific, sweetie. But if you need anything else from me, please visit again sooooooon!" She winked at Chuck before returning to the ground once more.

"Stars help me," groaned Chuck, spitting water onto himself to cool down.

Goomeredith looked at him, amused. "What, have you never been hit on by a woman before?"

"I have a wife!" he screamed, as if shouting would help clear him of whatever sin he had committed. "And somehow," he said, shaking. "I doubt she would appreciate me being Miss Cacta's 'sweet lump of crab dip'!"

"Oh," Goomeredith replied quietly. "Yeah, I see your problem."

Chuck shook his head, trying to clear his mind. "Let's just start looking for those parts. Sound good?" Everyone nodded.

 _'Great,'_ Mario thought to himself as he stomped through the desert. _'Now I've got a whole trio of partners who are ticked off about something. They better make up soon so we can at least get that take caren of. As for Chuck and Miss Cacta… yikes.'_

* * *

After some struggles with the local fauna, Mario and co. were within several platforms of the taller platform Miss Cacta had pointed to. They walked in silence partially because Mario's partners were in a bad mood and partially because the bizarre landscape was more interesting than anything anyone had to say. That was until they started to hear voices.

"Everyone listen!" Mario whispered, pointing up to the top platform.

"Please, Johnson, it's so dry out here. Why can't we just leave this stupid steering wheel here and go to Sodeeum?"

"Did you not see Lord Fancifus drive through?" replied the one apparently called Johnson. "If we suddenly stroll in the town gates he'll know we've been abandoning our duties. I don't know about you, but I like my hide _on_ my body."

Mario slowly peaked over the edge of the platform, trying to be sneaky. Up on the platform were six Goombas wearing black tuxedos and matching black sunglasses. And they all immediately spotted him.

"What the heck is that weird hairy thing?" one of them said.

"Looks like a troublemaker," said another.

Mario sighed and hopped up onto the platform. "So much for stealth. Come on up guys."

The partners hopped up and Goomeredith immediately gasped. "Suited Soldiers!" she said nervously.

"Hey look, somebody who actually knows we're a big deal!" one of the Suited Soldiers said, sounding genuinely shocked.

"Of course I know, you people are trying to destroy my kingdom!" Goomeredith shouted so loudly her face turned red. Mario looked at her in shock. Was this all the emotion that had driven her to join him?

"Would you look at that, we've got the princess herself here!" another said tauntingly. "Well look here, Goombrittany-"

"That's my sister, I'm actually Goomeredith," she interrupted quietly.

The Suited Soldiers started howling with laughter. "Oh look!" one of them jeered. "The weak baby princess is here to fight us to save her kingdom. Not even that, just to save this little steering wheel. Oh I'm so scared!"

Chuck grit his teeth and stepped forward like he was going to say something, but nothing would come out of his throat. _'If I could just stop being Mr. Nice and Timid for a few seconds I could stand up to these creeps and show Goomeredith and Koopious that I'm their friends.'_

But it was Koopious who spoke up first. "Big talk."

The Suited Soldiers stopped laughing and all stared at him. "What did you say?"

Koopious flashed a cocky grin. "I said 'big talk'. I think you're completely underestimating Goomeredith."

Goomeredith looked at him with grateful tears in her eyes. "Koopious..."

"Like, what are you guys?" he continued. "Just regular Goombas with some suits. Well until I see those suits sprout spears of light I remain unimpressed."

"Didn't you hate us like two days ago?" asked Mario.

"Mario, I don't care!" snapped Goomeredith. "This is really sweet!"

"Huh, sweet. I don't think I've ever been called that before," Koopious said, rubbing his chin. "But where was I? Oh yeah, you guys are nothing but a bunch of well-dressed punks and we're going to beat you up, take that steering wheel, drive across the desert, and beat up your boss."

The Suited Soldiers looked at each other. "So we beat them up?" one of them asked.

"We beat them up."

"Shinebright Spear!" Goomeredith immediately shouted. The Suited Soldiers all stepped back nervously when they saw the spear sprout from her tiara. She let out a furious battle cry and charged towards one of the Goombas on the edge. Before he could react, the spear shot right through him. While he wasn't punctured, he was thrown back as if he had been punched.

Another one of the Suited Soldiers ran towards her and jumped into the air, ready to kick her in the face. Before he could hit her, though, a rock hit him square in the face and stopped him in his tracks. "Alright, I actually hit him!" Chuck cheered, pulling out another rock.

Goomeredith was preparing to attack them again, but was faced with the rest of the Suited Soldier squad homing in on her. She jumped back towards Mario, who lunged forward with his hammer, knocking the front Goomba away. "I appreciate your passion, but can you pause for a moment to give us the lowdown on these guys?"

"I'll make it quick," Goomeredith said, staring at the Suited Soldiers with fury in her eyes. She pulled out the tattle log as Koopious jumped into battle, followed by a nervously scuttling Chuck. "These guys are Suited Soldiers, specifically Suited Goombas, the base-level grunts of the army. They're healthier than the average Goomba, but about as strong. What makes them really different is all the weird acrobatics they can use to attack us. I'd offer a witty comment here, but this is the first time I've seen the Suited Soldiers in person."

She once again formed the Shinebright Spear and charged towards the crowd of Suited Goombas. "Basically what I'm trying to say," she said, anger slowly dominating her tone. "Is that I'm all out of wit, but I have no shortage of fury!" She crashed into one of the Suited Goombas, but was quickly kicked aside by another.

"Hey Chuck," Mario said as four of the Suited Goombas closed in around them. "You wouldn't happen to know any moves that are good at pushing enemies away, would you?"

"Of course!" Chuck said, slowly backing into his shell. "This reminds me, don't forget to drink your water."

Mario raised an eyebrow as he raised his canteen. "Why does that remi-"

Suddenly a huge torrent of water shot out of Chuck's shell, slamming into one of the Suited Goombas and pushing him all the way to the edge of their platform. Mario quickly ran through the gap left by the Goomba, hitting another Suited Soldier in the back as he passed. The foe let out a weak groan and collapsed to the ground.

Before Mario could get to open ground another Suited Goomba ran towards him and jumped. Anticipating a headbonk, he stepped forward and turned around, prepared to counterattack. However, instead of attempting a headbonk, the Goomba spun around in the air in a circle kick and as Mario turned his face moved right into the path of the foe's shoe. As the Suited Goomba landed, it prepared to kick him again, but was met with a tiara to the skull as Goomeredith jumped in.

"Thanks," Mario said, giving her an extra nod of approval. She just gave him a solemn nod and jumped towards another Suited Goomba. The foe who had just hit Mario was now slowly getting to his feet, which Mario took advantage of and hit him over the head, causing him to faint.

Meanwhile, Koopious was just finishing charging a Moon Dash. He shot forward, passing through three of the Suited Goombas before coming to a stop near the edge of the platform. As his shell returned to normal he was left helpless as another Goomba prepared to kick him off the edge. Right before the Goomba could strike, it was hit with a blast of water that sent it tumbling away from Koopious.

Once Koopious regained movement he stood up and stared at Chuck. Finally, after a few awkward seconds, he grinned gratefully at him. "Thanks, Chuck," he said, before quickly tucking into his shell and spinning back into the battle.

Through the various tangles between Mario's crew and the Suited Soldiers, the Goombas were reduced to two fighting members while the other four laid down, exhausted, and drank from their water flasks. The two remaining foes looked quite tired themselves.

Chuck, while striking the bravest pose he could manage, tossed a rock at one of them, hitting the left Goomba in the head, but not quite defeating him. Mario quickly jumped in and caught him before he could roll away, dropping the count of Suited Soldiers to one.

"Okay, I give up!" the last Suited Goomba said. He reached into his suit and pulled out the missing steering wheel. Mario was so relieved to see it that he didn't question how the Suited Goomba fit the large steering wheel into his jacket, nor how he himself managed to fit it into his overalls. "You have what you want. Could you just leave us be? I've got five men who are too tired to move here, so it's not like we'll be causing much mischief."

Mario thought about the proposition for a moment before nodding. "Sure. I'd rather not waste any more water fighting you anyways."

The Goomba sighed with relief. "Oh thank yo-" Before he could finish, Goomeredith crashed down onto his head, causing him to fall to the ground like the rest of the soldiers.

"You all released that monster onto my kingdom," Goomeredith spat. "You don't deserve that kind of mercy. Come on guys, let's go."

Once Mario and co. had left, one of the Suited Goombas slowly sat up with a groan. "Guys?"

"Yeah?" replied another Suited Soldier.

"We can't show our faces to Fancifus, can we?"

"Nope."

"Well, um, who wants to head back to Brightendale and get some ice cream?"


	18. In Unsuitably Dry Lands - Part 4

**Author's Notes: So it's been nearly a month since my last upload which, given my usual weekly upload schedule, is a long time. So, I just want to clarify that this story is** _ **not**_ **canceled, nor is it on any sort of ambiguous hiatus. Basically it's been taking every ounce of my energy to push through the last couple months of high school and I haven't had the energy to write at my normal quality. So, rather than rush some parts for the sake of a consistent upload schedule, I'm pausing the story for a bit. BUT, unlike most stories on the site, this pause isn't indefinite. I finish school in early may, so expect uploads to continue as usual starting in mid-may. Thank you for understanding, I can't wait to get back to this!**

* * *

Mario and co. slowly made their way through the fractured landscape of the eastern Todriforyu desert, heading towards the area where Miss Cacta said they'd find the other car part.

"Good work, team," said Mario after a minute or so of silence. "Goomeredith, I don't think I've ever seen you that passionate in battle."

"Was that good?" Goomeredith said, looking to Mario's face for approval. Mario nodded and she did a happy little jig.

"And let's give some credit to our new teammate here," Koopious said, patting Chuck on the shell. "This guy really saved my shell back there."

Chuck looked at him hopefully. "So you're not mad at me anymore?"

Koopious shook his head. "I'm giving you the same deal I gave Mario: saving my life earns you some forgiveness."

Chuck smiled lightly. "That seems like a good deal." He looked over at Goomeredith, hoping for forgiveness, but looked away quickly once he saw her still-wary gaze. "I'll do my best to keep proving myself," he said to no one in particular.

They kept going, doing their best to plow through the occasional baddie in their way as they crafted a windy path through the landscape, jumping onto any platform that was within reach in order to get into the area they had been pointed to. The area was fairly nondescript, at least compared to the rest of the desert. It was just another set of fractured platforms at seemingly random elevations. The group actually had to debate whether or not they were in the right area until Goomeredith caught sight of Miss Cacta's flower in the distance and judged the angle was just right. Once everyone was convinced that they were in the right area, the group mounted the highest platform they could reasonably get to and surveyed the land.

"Down there!" said Goomeredith.

Mario looked around confusedly. "Down where?"

"There!" Goomeredith said frustratedly. "I'm pointing at it!"

"You don't have arms!"

Goomeredith sighed loudly, lifted one of her feet, and (to the best of her ability) pointed with her foot at a white flower off to the left on a wide platform covered in chunks of rock. "There!"

After a few minutes of carefully descending around the area to the platform in question, the group found themselves surrounding the white flower. Mario looked at Chuck expectantly. "Go ahead."

Chuck sighed as he sunk into his shell. "I really, _really_ hope this one is a bit different." He shot water onto the flower and quickly backed away, hoping he could avoid receiving credit.

The ground rumbled and a smaller, three segment Pokey emerged. He surveyed the group before grinning widely. "Thanks, my dudes! That was some righteous water!" He spun around joyously for a moment before continuing. "Since you guys are so nice, I'll do you a solid. Sound good?"

Mario looked at him confusedly. "A solid?"

"I think he means a favor," said Chuck.

Mario shrugged. "I'm not even going to pretend to be hip. Anyways, we're looking for a car tire. Any idea where it is?"

"Hold on a sec'." The pokey quickly jumped back into the ground and shook around before returning. "Now, I don't know where exactly it is, but a buddy of mine can help you out." He looked up at a tremendously high platform in front of them. "He lives up there."

"Oh boy." Mario wiped his brow as he stared up at the climb before them. "I don't know if we can get up there."

"Nah man, don't worry about it!" said the Pokey. He used his head to point at the rocks on his platform. "One of these rocks is hiding a pipe to get up there. I'm sure if you break enough of them you'll find it." Before anyone could say anything else he jumped back into the ground with a satisfied grin on his face.

Mario looked around at the rocks. There were fifteen rocks in all, each a dense collection of salt and red dust. Fortunately, none of them appeared to be Clefts in disguise. Mario walked up to the nearest rock and bashed it as hard as he could with his hammer. A bit of salt was chipped off, but otherwise it was completely fine. "Oh no," he said with a sigh as he smacked it again.

"Let me handle this," Koopious said in a cocky tone. He quickly charged up a Moon Dash and shot through the rock. After a few moments his shell returned to normal and the orb of light exploded on the rock and… nothing happened.

"You're kidding me!" he grumbled.

Goomeredith quickly downed a syrup and unleashed the Shinebright Spear. She charged and stabbed the rock, but like the attacks before, it only chipped it. "Well," she said, "I'm all out of ideas."

Mario looked around the area, as if searching for a clue. "So either I'm destined to find a better hammer, or we're in trouble." He looked down at Chuck. "Unless you've got something that will break it."

Chuck shrugged. "Maybe I can weather it down?" He ducked into his shell and blasted the rock with a torrent of water. The water seeped into the cracks in the rock and was quickly dried out by the salt. "Sorry guys, I-"

"Hold on!" Goomeredith said, taking a closer look at the rock. "Take a look at this! The salt along the rock's cracks absorbed a lot of the water. It looks kind of… spongy. Mario, why don't you hit it again?"

Mario walked up to the rock and took a doubtful swing. Much to his surprise, the salt at the cracks gave way, making the whole rock fall apart. Mario looked over at Chuck and grinned. "Well would you look at that. Let's get to work."

For the next couple of minutes, Chuck scuttled around the platform, dousing rocks as fast as he could, while Mario followed up by destroying the rocks. It wasn't until the second to last rock that they finally came upon the rust-red pipe they were looking for.

Mario put his foot up on the edge of the pipe. "Let'sa go!" he shouted before jumping in. As he rushed through the pipe he was buffeted with little grains of salt and dust. They pelted him in the face, stung his eyes and shot down his wind pipe. As soon as he was able to jump out of the pipe he scrambled to the side and started violently coughing out the many minerals in his lungs.

Goomeredith was the next to emerge and quickly followed Mario's lead. "Who invented pipes?" she sputtered between coughs. "And what is wrong with them?"

Koopious' shell was the next to shoot out of the pipe, soon followed by Chuck, who was also hidden in his shell. The Huckit Crab stood up after a moment and looked at Mario and Goomeredith with a raised eyebrow. "Everything okay?" Goomeredith just shook the salt and dust out of her hair and said nothing, leaving her with a messy pile of hair and a pouty face. "Alright then," Chuck said dismissively. "Let's look for that next Pokey."

The party looked around at their platform. They stood on an incredibly high chunk of land, the first in a long chain of high platforms that led back towards Mesa Lodge. Their platform was littered with tall stalagmites of salt, as were most of the other high platforms. In the very middle of the platform was a blue flower that was shaking almost giddily.

Chuck approached the flower and reluctantly sprayed water onto it. The very instant the water hit the Pokey it sprung out of the ground with an enthusiastic "Brooooooo!"

"Well," Chuck muttered. "I suppose it could be worse."

"Hey man, like thanks for that absolutely superstitious batch of water!" the Pokey said, leaning in way too close to Chuck.

"Superstitious?" Goomeredith asked. "What about that was superstitious?"

The Pokey swiveled over to her and laughed loudly. "You must not be into the latest lingo, dudette. You know, it's superstitious! Like, completely lackadaisical and a bit neolithic!"

"I don't think you know what those words mean." Goomeredith's eye twitched slightly.

"Don't worry about it!" the Pokey said, waving his body from side to side. "Now tell me, my brotherly rigatoni, what can I do for you?"

"I, uh," Mario said, struggling to think in the wake of such bizarre slang. "We're looking for a tire that got left here."

"Ah hey yeah, my low altitude broski was just telling me about that. I already scanned and all that rock n' roll, so I can tell you that my alternate broski can tell you where it is." The Pokey looked down the line of high platforms. "He's somewhere down in that dealio, if you catch my drift."

"I don't think your 'drift' is possible to catch," muttered Goomeredith.

"Well, um, thanks?" Mario said.

"Yeah no problem! See you later, hoagies!" With that, the Pokey jumped back into the ground, leaving the desert in pleasant silence for a few moments.

"I swear I was going to throw up if he kept talking," Goomeredith said, shuddering visibly.

"I take it nobody actually talks like that, right?" Koopious asked.

Chuck nodded. "I've seen some crazy slang in the big cities, but that guy was above and beyond." Mario nodded in agreement.

They made their way towards the next platform in the line, but immediately came upon a problem. The only area close enough to jump to was blocked on the other side by a large, salty stalagmite. While there was a bit of land in front of it, anyone who tried to make the jump would likely slip and tumble to their doom.

Chuck was the first to approach the edge. "This doesn't seem much different than the rocks," he said, tucking into his shell. He quickly doused the base of the pillar in water and watched as the cracks began to weaken. "Alright Mario, go hit it!" he said, excited to move on.

Mario inspected the gap skeptically. "Sorry guys, but there's no way I can reach over there with my hammer."

"What, no way!" Chuck said panickedly. "Can't you just throw it at the pillar?"

"And let it fall into the pit?"

Chuck looked down at his feet with a sigh. "Oh, right."

Goomeredith looked over at Koopious. "Do you have any ideas?"

The monk's face immediately turned into a smug grin. "I was waiting for you to ask me that." He retracted into his shell and yelled "Step aside, amateurs!" He then began to spin around, but simply to build up speed, rather than charge up Moon Dash. Once he was happy with his speed he shot straight ahead towards the gap.

"Koopious, are you crazy?" Goomeredith shouted, running to stop him.

Mario's eyes widened in realization of Koopious' plan. "Goomeredith, stop," he said calmly.

She looked back at him with a panicked expression. "What do you mean 'stop'?" Before Mario could respond, they watched as Koopious' shell glided gracefully off the edge and, contrary to the laws of physics, didn't lose any height. He quickly slammed into the base of the stalagmite, bounced off, and landed perfectly back on safe ground.

Goomeredith ran up to Koopious with a dropped jaw. She was so shocked that she hardly even paid attention to the obstacle collapsing at its base and falling down into the desert below. "How did you do that?" she finally managed to say.

"Oh you know," Koopious said, flexing his arms. "It's a monk thing."

Mario rolled his eyes. "Don't try to show off, Koopious. You're at least the third Koopa I've met who can do that."

Koopious chuckled as Goomeredith rolled her eyes as well. "Okay, you got me. But it's helpful, right?"

Mario nodded. "Of course! Let's keep going though. I'm sure you'll get to show it off more."

* * *

After many jumps and a bit more path-clearing by Koopious and Chuck the group found themselves standing around a green flower atop another tall platform. "So," Chuck said nervously. "I suppose I'll either be hit on or face an onslaught of slang."

"Be brave," Mario said with a teasing smile. Chuck took a deep breath and dumped water on the flower.

A tiny, one-segment Pokey shuffled its way out of the ground. "Oh, uh, hey. Thanks for the water."

Everyone looked at him with shocked expressions. No flair, no slang, just a Pokey. "Er, you're welcome," Chuck finally said.

"I've been waiting a while. I was beginning to doubt that you'd make it," said the Pokey.

"A while?" asked Goomeredith. "We crossed those platforms pretty quickly."

"Oh." The Pokey looked away awkwardly. "Okay never mind. No need to worry about that right now. What can I do for you?"

Mario looked at him confusedly, but spoke up nonetheless. "We're looking for a tire that's somewhere around here."

The Pokey slowly nodded. "Oh okay. I think a friend of mine can help you out."

"Again?" Mario said with a sigh. "You're the fourth Pokey we've asked about this?"

"Fourth?" asked the Pokey. "I thought there were only thre- er, never mind. Trust me, my friend will have it." He wiggled his head in the direction of a red pipe. "That pipe will take you straight there." Before anyone could ask any questions the Pokey jumped back into the ground, leaving the party to approach the pipe.

"I'm not ready for this," said Goomeredith, pulling her dress up over her face.

"Why do you think he was confused about there being four Pokeys?" Chuck asked.

Mario shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine, but there's only one way to find out." He pulled his hat over his face and jumped into the pipe.

* * *

After a grueling minute of pipe travel through salt and dust, Mario and co. were flung out onto a platform before their pipe sunk back into the salty earth. It took Mario a few moments to clear his face of all the particles that had made it past his hat, but once his eyes were clear he noticed something odd about their platform. Everywhere he looked he saw chunks of broken rock scattered about the ground, almost like someone had been breaking them…

"You've got to be kidding me!" Mario shouted. He dragged Chuck over to the white flower and got him to water it.

"Hey hey, welcome back!" The first Pokey they had met in this area popped out of the ground. "And I'd like to thank you for all once again that righteous water!"

"What's the big idea?" growled Koopious. "We're trying to save the world here and you waste our time sending us on a wild goose chase back to you?"

"Calm down, dude!" the Pokey said, leaning as far away from Koopious as he could. "Listen, we Pokeys get watered maybe once a decade. I was just trying to help out my fellow cactus bros!"

Mario sighed loudly. "Look, I get it. Everybody's got their problems that need solving, but now's not the time. Do you have the wheel or not?"

"Uh," the Pokey said awkwardly. "Actually I don't."

The entire team turned towards him with vicious glares. "What!"

"Hey hey hey hey! I'm only kidding!" the Pokey said, quickly jumping into the ground. There was a brief bit of rumbling before he reemerged, balancing a large wheel on his head. "Here you go, broskis," he said nervously, gently setting the wheel on the ground in front of him. "Thanks for the drink!" he shouted before returning to the ground for one last time.

Mario pushed the wheel onto its side with a loud grunt and began to roll it towards the edge of the platform. "Mama mia," he said quietly. "Anyone know how we're going to get this back there?"

* * *

After an hour of lifting, rolling, and general frustration the group arrived back at Valacy T's car. The Toad bounced happily upon seeing his tire and steering wheel returned. "Awesome job guys! To be honest, I wasn't sure if you'd make it."

"Uh, thanks?" Mario said, handing him the steering wheel.

Valacy winked at him. "I'm only kidding. Give me a few minutes and I'll have this baby running like it's fresh off the lot. In the meantime, go find some shade. Look at me, do you want your skin to peel this much? Didn't think so."

* * *

Mario breathed a sigh of relief as the car's air conditioning wafted over him. Goomeredith gave a similar sigh as she plopped down in the passenger's seat. Koopious and Chuck quickly hopped into the back seats and leaned towards the front, trying to catch what bit of the cool stream they could get.

Valacy T. tapped on Mario's window and he quickly rolled it down. "Now, I'm sure you know that I'd prefer to get this baby back in one piece," the Toad said, resting his arms on the door. "But, if you can get the Suited Soldiers out of here then I'm willing to forgive any cruddy driving on your part."

Mario snorted. "You won't have to worry about my driving."

Valacy chuckled. "You're pretty confident, aren't you? I like that. It gives me hope in these… sketchy times." He cast a glance up at the black patches in the sky. "But listen, I don't expect you to take these guys on alone. Well, you're not _alone_ alone, but you get my point. Anyways, as soon as I get back to the lodge I'm gonna see if I can get a few of my cars ready to drive out to Sodeeum, got to sell quick, you know?"

Mario gave him a confused look. "I guess?"

Valacy shook his head. "You probably don't," he said with a laugh. "But that's not my point. My point is that if you need anyone else to come to Sodeeum tomorrow, I can hook you up. That is, assuming I'm not gonna get attacked by those fancy freaks again." He pulled out a shiny blue rectangle, which flipped open to reveal two screens, one of which was projecting the words "Mailbox 3d" several inches in front of it. "Email?"

"It's jumpman ."

"Huh, didn't realize anyone still used Ossan," Valacy muttered as he typed the address into his mailbox. "I'll send you an email so you can message me back, sound good?" They both nodded and gave Mario a hardy pat on the shoulder before backing away from the car. "Good luck."

Mario tipped his hat before slamming his foot on the accelerator. The car immediately rocketed forward, spraying salt and red dust in every direction. "Hey!" Valacy shouted, running after them. "I didn't say you could be reckless!" After a moment he stopped running and turned around. "Bah, he'll be fine."

Meanwhile, Goomeredith and Chuck were screaming as their car tore across the desert landscape. "What do you think you're doing?" Goomeredith shouted, pressing herself as far back into her seat as she could.

Mario kept his eyes locked to the ground ahead. "I'm… driving? Is something wrong?"

"This kind of driving would get you arrested!" Chuck shouted, covering his eyes with his big claw.

"We're not on a road though," Mario said confusedly. "I really don't see the problem."

"I've never been in a car before!" Goomeredith squealed, panicked tears building in her eyes.

"Oh!" Mario said, easing off of the accelerator. "I, um, I didn't even think about that," he said, grinning sheepishly.

"Jeez," Chuck said, catching his breath. "I've only seen racers go that fast."

Mario grinned. "Funny thing about that..."

Goomeredith looked over at him in awe, seemingly forgetting her panic. "You're a racecar driver? Oh my stars, that's so cool!"

Koopious gave an impressed whistle. "A hero, plumber, and racer? What else do you do?"

Mario pondered the question for a moment. "I used to be a big tennis star with my brother, though I don't do that anymore. I also golf from time to time, play soccer, smash, throw big parties-"

"I think we get the point," Koopious said, looking genuinely impressed.

"That's," Goomeredith tried to say. Her eyes were ridiculously wide with shock. "That's a lot of things. That's a lot of things we don't even have in Brightendale."

"So are you some sort of super-celebrity where you come from?" Chuck asked.

Mario shrugged. "I go from hero to celebrity to small-town plumber pretty regularly. The Mushroom Kingdom tends to get used to crazy guys like me pretty quickly."

"Huh, you're Shroomish?" Chuck asked. "I would have pegged you as a Sarasalander."

"Oh!" Koopious suddenly said. "Mushroom Kingdom's the one with the princess who's always getting kidnapped, right?"

Mario nodded. "That's the one."

"Then I think I've seen you on TV before," Koopious said, scratching his head as if it would help him remember. "You really are the real deal, aren't you?"

"Do you really think my daddy would pick anyone short of the best?" Goomeredith smiled proudly.

* * *

They drove for a couple more hours. It was a mostly uneventful drive, only needing a few slight course adjustments to avoid colliding with salt pillars. Evidently the Suited Goombas they had fought were the only ones trying to stop cars because they didn't encounter anyone on the flat open plain of the Todriforyu. Instead, the drive was spent enjoying the AC, chatting about each others' history (which mostly consisted of Mario recalling fantastic stories from his past, including his escapades in Rogueport). Sometime in the middle of their drive, Mario's mailbox SP let out a small chime, confirming that Valacy T. had made it back to the lodge and had emailed them.

Eventually, something other than the white horizon or the distant red peaks came into view. At first it was only a small speck, but eventually they could see the shape of a town off in the distance: Sodeeum Village.

Once they were a couple of miles away, Mario stopped the car. From what they could see, the village was surrounded by an old set of dark yellow walls and behind it sat an imposing fortress made of the same stone. While they couldn't make out much about the people there, they could see quite a bit of movement around the walls, implying that it was swarming with Suited Soldiers.

"Something tells me they're not going to be too happy with us waltzing up to the gates," Mario said as he stopped the engine.

"Should we wait until night?" Goomeredith suggested. "Even if they have searchlights, we should be able to sneak in on foot."

"Who said anything about sneaking in?" Koopious asked. He pounded his fist into his palm. "Weren't we gonna beat them up?"

Goomeredith shook her head. "That didn't work with the Mugging Mountaineers, so why would it work with a whole army?"

Koopious let out a bitter sigh. "I see your point."

"So, Mario, here's my plan," said Goomeredith. "We sneak in by cover of night and talk to the citizens to see if they have any idea of how to get the Suited Soldiers out of there. Maybe we could get their help fighting them off."

Mario considered the idea for a moment, stroking his 'stache. "Alright," he finally said. "Let's wait for sundown. Then, it's time to sneak into enemy territory."

* * *

Dear MR. JUMPMAN,

Thank you for registering with _Shinebright Magazine (SBM)._ Your friend, MR. VALACY T, recommend you to us. Please, take a moment to get to know the fantastic columns you'll get to know!

 _Tri-city Times:_

Get to know all the hottest news out of the San Estrella/Grandiose City/Shine Lake City area with our hip, young journalist, Mangrove! This Piranha Plant with style will make sure you're up to date on all the city gossip you'll ever need to know.

 _Valley Girl:_

Want to know what's up in our quaint little capital? Well Antiki T. has you covered for all your Brightendale News! This little feature has covered everything from the ins and outs of flower plantations to fashion tips from Princess Goombrittany herself.

 _Mystery Madness:_

Hungry for those rumors and mysteries that the news anchors won't cover? Conspiracy Guy is here to give you a buffet! Sure, we're not always right, but we can promise you'll get a new and interesting story each and every week.

We here at _Shinebright Magazine_ hope from the bottom of our deep, deep hearts that you'll love what we've cooked up for you.

-Amy Atom, SBM Editor

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Didn't want say** _ **too**_ **much up there, so here's a second note. I'd like to give huge thanks to all my reviewers. As of uploading this I've gotten 11 reviews, and while some wouldn't say that's a lot I'm ecstatic that anyone cares about this little story of mine. I'd like to thank Sparkling-nexis137 for reviewing the last 4 chapters, I really appreciate it!**


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